How to Talk Like The Sexiest Man (or Woman) on Earth
Paul Newman (photo by Mikki Ansin)
“I love it when we are all by ourselves at home.”
I am a
great lover of sexy verbal hints (I just wonder whether I can call it
"alternative oral sex", which will sell like the hottest bargains to search engines). I
like giving them and receiving them. I give them all the
time:
“Honey, your new pair of jeans really makes your legs look long and slender.”
“Darling, your new hand-bag is simply elegant, worth every cent they asked for.”
“I love it when we are all by ourselves at home.”
“In this outfit, no one would have guessed that you are a mother to these three teenage giants.”
“WOW, you still managed to get into this dress after all these years. How do you do it?”
“I like your new perfume. You haven’t put any on? Ah, I guess that’s why I like it even more.”
You might say that’s just sweet-mouthing and flattery. No. Sweet-mouthing and flattery won’t get you anywhere, definitely not into a romantic night with your beloved. Here are the three biggest secrets:
1. You need to say things that you mean. After all these years, your partner will surely know what turns you on. If you hate Dior and yet compliment her new Dior purchase, she’ll just give you a dirty look and cast her eyes back on the Cosmopolitan magazine within 2 seconds.
2. Next, you need to say it like Paul Newman. I don’t mean the way he said it, not the words he used, either, nor the look in his eyes. I mean you need to feel that you are the sexiest and most confident man, dead or alive. (My apologies, Newman fans, you know I’m one myself if you have read my hub on Newman.) You are the world’s most authoritative gemologist commenting on the absolute clarity of this rare diamond. There’s no ifs, buts or perhaps. You simply know what you are admiring at this moment is wonderful and marvelous. You don’t even bother with whether saying these words will make your partner happy, or upset, or will get you the sex you want tonight or not. You just have to spill your guts and say them.
3. Finally, don’t smile, not even in admiration. People held in awe don’t tend to show much facial expression, but awe.
You might say, “this is all fine, but when will you start talking about how to build on this initial success for a great night of intimacy?” My response is: I write by my real name, responsibly for a mature readership, including my friends, patients and occasionally my wife. How much physical and intimate description do you expect?
