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How to Tell Your Boyfriend to Give You Space

Updated on February 21, 2014
Have fun with your friends
Have fun with your friends

He is Your Best Friend, Almost!

You love your boyfriend and enjoy spending time with him but let's face it, he isn't your mall buddy and shopping is just not as much fun with him as it is with your girlfriends. Sometime's we all need a little time to ourselves to do all the things that we love to do. Taking your time in a shop, trying on every little thing or even just chilling in your room playing with your hair and make- up or just reading a book is nice to do on your own.

As much as he will try to be patient while you shop, he just doesn't understand that you enjoy taking your time and love to try on everything in every shop.

Men are not that big into conversation and it is blatantly obvious when they are not listening to a word you say. We get angry but all we need to do is have a chat to our girlfriends because they love to listen and love to talk.

Guy Things

As much as we love to hear about their day it is often really boring and if they mention sport most women switch off. Having the t.v blaring sports and listening to your boyfriend screaming at the players can get annoying. That's when we need to escape to the bathroom, run a bubble bath, put on some soothing music and relax with a glass of wine but just as you get cosy, he busts open the door and yells out asking you for something! Once that happens you must just get out of the bath because relaxing is over and you won't be able to enjoy.

Our days are spent picking up after them, cleaning and cooking, making them a drink, running errands and finding things that they have lost with barely anytime for ourselves.

Taking a time out is necessary in order to keep your relationship fresh and prevent you from wanting to throw the t.v. remote at him.

Break it to him Gently

There is no need to wait until you explode and tell him to leave forever so do not bottle yourself up and let him know gently that you need to have some space.

Explain to him that you do love him so very much and you enjoy spending time with him but you need female time which means taking your time in the shops, relaxing undisturbed in a bath and having girly conversation with your friends.

Because women and men are so very different it is essential for us to take time to do our own things. If he enjoys golf than while he plays golf you can go to the mall or for a facial. If he watches t.v. go and bath and let him know that you won't disturb him as long as he doesn't disturb you.

Make sure that you tell him that you want this time for self pampering and that it gives him time to do his guy thing undisturbed too.

Come to some agreement about having one full day and night of doing just what you like and enjoy without having interference from each other.

This does not mean that the two of you should go your separate ways or go on dates with others it just means having alone time at home away from each other.

He is Suffocating me!

If you have told your boyfriend that you need space and he is one of those clingy types than you might have a different problem altogether.

If space is something that you need and you feel that he is suffocating you than you have to let him know that you feel a little under pressure with him being permanently by your side and as much as you appreciate and value him, you need to do girly things that you don't want him to be a part of.

If he still has not got the hint than you probably have to let him know that you are not happy with the way things are and that space is what you need to continue.

Be careful because if he still hasn't got it than he might be a stalker!

Don't Have too Much Space

Let your boyfriend know that you love him and be thankful that he wants to spend time with you.

Once you have both worked out "alone time" schedules than ensure that you have worked on a "date night" too so that neither of you feel neglected.

If your boyfriend doesn't understand and you have broken it to him gently than he might not be right for you.

Also remember that too much space and alone time can end up leaving one of you feeling very distant and that is where problems start.

The other Type of Space

If it isn't girly time that you need but space away from a boyfriend that you are getting irritated with than you need to consider a few things first;

Do you need space because you are not that into him?

Have you met someone else and you are just saying you need space to get him to leave?

If so, than having space will not do any justice to your relationship and you need to be fair and let him know that you need to move forward without him.

Should you be in a long term relationship and you feel as if you are missing out on fun and freedom because you have become too comfortable at home, than you need to let him know that t.v. is not your future plan and you feel like you have no freedom. He needs to listen to you and if you both love each other you need to work on having alone time because perhaps you spend too much time together.

Sometimes a guy can get very clingy and every time you turn your head, he is there. If you want tea, you already have it brought to you. If you complain about a sore foot, he will massage it for you and this can get too much...... Right, if this is the case than YOU are a big fool because there are not many guys out there like that, he is a keeper!

But, there are those guys that have jumped from serious relationship to serious relationship and after a couple of months they are ready to marry you. Everywhere you go, he is there, you want to speak to your girlfriends, he is there, you have a bubble bath, he is there are so many hugs that you feel suffocated and trapped. These are the guys that wait at your door after you have just told him over the phone that you are tired. The ones that pick you up an hour before your date and the ones that have no opinions of their own; they can't pick a restaurant, they order what you order and watch whatever movie you want them to!

It is annoying and every woman loves a man that can take control and voice his own opinions. Everyone needs space and freedom to breathe and if you do have one of the suffocating types than you need to let him know that you do not enjoy having a guy that has no voice of his own and that you will not be offended if he makes a decision. These guys do not really have any idea on how a long term relationship works and they have probably been hurt in the past, forcing them to please you in every way without realising that they are suffocating you and appearing weak.

Space Permanently

Perhaps you have realised that your friends are out having fun and enjoying their single lives while you have been in the relationship mode since high school, with the same guy, doing the same old things and now you want to go out and enjoy the otherside of life which you have never been able to experience. You do love your boyfriend but at the same time you wish that you had never really jumped into a reltionship with him. You feel stuck, caged and bored!

If you have been with him for some time than asking for space could mean a break up for a long term relationship and the chances of one of you being unfaithful in this time will be very high.

So if you are prepared to live and work through that than take your space but your relationship will never be the same again and the two of you will always have issues.

Studying can be difficult if you have the distraction of a boyfriend and asking him for space so that you can concentrate is not too much to ask for. If he loves you he will understand but it doesn't mean shutting him out completely.

Should you feel the need to go on a world travel and you do not want him to go with you than this could be hurtful to him but maybe it is a break that you both need. Promises of staying faithful and keeping in contact will be made and you might actually both miss each other. It could go the other way and he could enjoy his time with friends while you are away and things might change for the both of you when you return but if that's what happens than it is meant to be.

Be Gentle

Be honest, break it to him gently and don't come up with some story because it will always backfire on you and you could either end up hurting the one that you love or destroying a realtionship.

Just keep it simple and let him know that space is what you need because?.......

A loving partner will understand if it is space for yourself but not if you are wanting space because he feels you don't hug him enough. That is a different story all together.

It is also very important to think of why you need the space. Think very carefully about the reasons before you ask for space because maybe what you are actually wanting is to end things.

Whatever the case, don't leave your partner hanging on.


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    • Tashaonthetown profile imageAUTHOR

      Natasha Pelati 

      5 years ago from South Africa

      So sorry, yes in all relationships you need space, however this article was written for girls who do not know how to ask for space, regardless of gender.

      "girly time" means things that can't really be enjoyed by your partner.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Oh for gods sake it isn't 'girly time' that all girls need, some do other things you know. And not giving you space isn't a 'man thing' it happens in same sex relationships too!

    • Tashaonthetown profile imageAUTHOR

      Natasha Pelati 

      6 years ago from South Africa

      Thank you! Lol for some easier said than done

    • My Mind Speaks profile image


      6 years ago from Long Island N.Y

      Love this!!!


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