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How You Can Tell Your Best Close Friend You Love Them

Updated on September 30, 2010

There is little in life that is more frustrating that having deep feelings for someone who you're "just friends" with. And there is little that is more frightening than to consider revealing those feelings to your friend because you run the risk of jeopardizing the friendships. For that reason, it is important to think carefully before telling your friend that you're in love. It is also important to prepare emotionally once you've made the decision that you're going to communicate your feelings to your friend. And finally, you'll need to find the right way to tell your friend to ease the awkwardness of the situation.

First things first, make sure that you really want to tell your friend about your feelings. Are you certain that you're in love? Do you want to tell your friend because you are hoping that your revelation will lead to a relationship? Or is this a situation in which you just need to get the feelings off of your chest even though you don't think it's likely that your relationship is ever going to be anything more than platonic? Take some time to really get a good grasp on why you are interested in sharing this with your friend at the current time. Work through your thoughts in a journal or talk to a counselor to explore the reasons motivating you to share these feelings and make a thought-through decision about whether to proceed or to leave things as they are.

If you've decided that you are indeed going to tell your friend that you're in love, you should prepare emotionally for the ramifications of that. You should consider what might happen to your life if your friend decides that he/she doesn't share your feelings and doesn't want to be as close to your for awhile after the revelation. Think carefully about what you will do to protect yourself in this situation. This includes creating a support network of other friends and loved ones who can spend time with you if this happens. Of course, you're hoping that this isn't the end result of your revelation, but you should prepare for it anyway, just in case. You don't want to be left with no best friend after the conversation has taken place.

You should also think about what you want from your friend. Being able to clearly articulate that is going to make the conversation go more smoothly. Just revealing your feelings for your friend to deal with can be shocking and overwhelming to the friend. But if you have a plan in mind and know what you want, you give your friend the chance to make a decision without being so overwhelmed. Know what you want in case the friend shares the feelings and what you want in case he/she doesn't. For example, you may want to proceed to a romantic relationship if those feelings are shared but to discontinue the friendship entirely if they are not. Alternatively, you may want to spend more time developing your relationship if the feelings are shared but would be content to stay friends as is if not. Know what you want so you can tell your friend when the conversation takes place.

Finally, you'll need to tell your friend, of course. You should pick an appropriate time and setting for doing so. Don't just burst out with your emotions one day as your having a quick lunch before returning to the office. Make sure that you have the time and privacy for a complete conversation about the topic. If you feel like it's better done in a public place, go for coffee or dinner. Otherwise do it in the comfort of one of your homes. Be clear and honest in your announcement about your emotions. Let the other person know what you are feeling and what you want to happen from here on out. Then wait and see what he/she has to say. You might be surprised to find that these feelings were shared all along and your friend just didn't know how to tell you!

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    BeatsByE40 2 years ago

    I posted on here almost 3 years ago and I'm now in a relationship with the girl of my dreams 2 years next month sometimes all you need is time it's crazy seeing all these posts from 6 or 7 years ago because I'm sure everyone has grown up so much

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    Person16 2 years ago

    So I posted on here three years ago when I was 13 and said I was in love with my best friend. I kept it from him though and eventually got over it sort of and started liking other people. But two days ago he asked me to be his girlfriend and now we're dating!! I guess I just needed to give it time :)

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    Melanie 2 years ago

    I read through all these comments and it seems that almost no one has a positive story where it has worked out! This goes to show that the whole 'friends ending up together" is a cliche in Romance movies but rarely happens in real life!

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    Silver1981 2 years ago

    It's so difficult. I've saved this page in my inbox for many years and yesterday I decided about a month ago that I want to tell my best friend.

    What can I say? I choked. Every time I came close to telling her, I heated up like a stove and heart raced. I definitely was overthinking and she was being a good friend as usual so I didn't feel up to throwing this "bomb" out there.

    So I left her home about 10 pm.. Usual hugs and here I am again. Still haven't told her... Saw her in my dreams and woke feeling bad because my girlfriend was next to me.

    Somehow I need to deal with this. It won't go away

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    melvaughn 3 years ago

    I revealed my feelings for my guy friend. He had one nice reply back and then we never spoke again.

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    dean 4 years ago

    I told my best friend this summer and she didnt take it well she repeatted tells me that we are just friend and hopes i can live with that and i can because i truly do love her but she has started to avoid me ever chance she gets. everyone tells me to give her space but i feel i have lost my best friend over this!

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    hf 4 years ago

    I and my boyfriend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man that helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldnt believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. templeofvadoo@gmail.com

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    Abigayle Malchow 5 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

    I was 12 when I met a 13 year old boy who moved in across the street. "Boy Next Door" situation:) We became friends fast, best friends in fact. When I was 13 did the awkward six week relationship and held hands. Never really kissed even that dreadful peck you get so excited for lol. Through the next five years he was always there for me no matter for what, where, when, how...it didn't matter. At 18 things started heating up super fast. First time I knew what "intense" felt like and later we termed it first time we felt any passion to that caliber. I didn't know I was his first girlfriend either. I didn't know he felt the same way. For seven years he even knew that the boyfriend I call my first love wasn't my true first. He also knew it was him. I never said anything and neither did he. We had lost touch for 15 years. I always thought of him. Wondered how he was. Glad he was happily married with kids. I was divorced twice. I truly never found what that had given me but I thought it was teenage love. Turns out for me, those feelings came flooding back and I am now in my 30's.

    I didn't have to tell him, and maybe we didn't because we both are the type that was what is meant to be will happen. Had I said something maybe it would have ended a friendship I would never have been able to lose. He gave me what I haven't been able to find again and that part makes me so much more appreciative of something I downplayed for so long.

    I will be honest. I want what I walked away from all those years ago. Now that I am grown and been through a rough existence, I can see how great of a guy he has always been. I always knew the qualities he had were special and he was one of the good ones...even when labeled the one that got away...but I thought there were a dime a dozen men like him. Truth is there isn't. I haven't been able to find it. We live across the nation from the other. Kids involved. I don't know how possible it is but I know what I want now. I want him finally. But! I don't want to lose him either if he isn't feeling it. So it comes down to what is what I can live with or without...I have lived without being with in a relationship...but I know I could never live without his friendship.

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    julian 5 years ago

    i like my best

    friend but shes dating another man does love her the way that i do

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    Amy 5 years ago

    I've known this one guy since primary school. He's perfect, there are no other words. He's not like all the other guys, doesn't act stupid, he's not afraid to be himself and he's such a genuinely nice person. I had a crush on him in primary school which he knew about and he said he didn't like me.

    As we moved into secondary school I sort of got over him and for a few years we didn't really see each other but when we did we could just chat a little. The thing is though that I never did completely get over him, deep down I still love him and I think I always will.

    In the last year I've joined a group of friends who are friends with his friends too so we see more of each other. If he loved me back I'd be so happy, I couldn't put in down in writing but I know he never will; he just doesn't see me that way. So instead I have tried to become closer friends with him and tell myself that we are just friends and nothing more.

    I'll never tell him that I love him but being friends should hopefully help me because seeing him as friends is better than never seeing him at all.

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    kim 5 years ago

    I love my best friend Paige but she is a girl and I am a girl love her sooooooo much and I told her I was bi and she send that she was to but is she losing to me yes or no I want to no so bad that is how much I love her what will I do and when and were will I do it at people how bi r the same as ever onein the world ok so don't get mad at me

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    Helen 5 years ago

    I think everything will be fine eventually...time is a wonderful thing... moving on slowly now. :) I realise things happen for a reason and if you want to be happy its up to you and no one else to achieve this.

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    hopeless 5 years ago

    I had a guy friend, we started to like each other, and we went out for months. He dumped me, but never told me why. We continued to be friends, but every time i see him I still feel like I love him. He has been pressuring me to tell him what i told a close friend of mine ( i told her i love him) now I want to tell him, just to get it off my chest, but if I lose him again I don't know what I would do... I'm scared..

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    Snow1989 5 years ago

    Yeh this stuff is horrible... I still haven't decided should I tell her or no... I keep thinking better friendship then nothing...

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    jaja2012 5 years ago

    i am in love with my best friend,im getting crazy.hesmuch much younger!!!!!cannot be!!!!!!what will i do????

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    tina 5 years ago

    Tina from Canada

    “I have many problems in my life and have been to so many spell casters with no results and as a result of this, I ended up in a huge debt.One day I used internet and felt some kind of strange but kind and gentle force as if someone was guiding me to search for spell casters. I can’t remember the words I typed in the search engine but I was directed to Dr.gboco (gbocotemple@yahoo.com). And that was it! I felt so lucky to have found his email It all happened so naturally and easily and I am glad it did. No words can express the feeling I had.Despite all the bad experiences I had with FAKE spell casters on the internet in the past, nothing could stop me from reaching my dreams, so I ordered a spell from Dr.gboco. I had sleepless nights and was was very worried because I promised myself I won’t approach a spell caster for help but did as it was time for me to help myself, stop crying and stop feeling sorry for myself.I also knew there was someone out there who is capable of helping me.

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    BeatsByE40 5 years ago

    a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y n

    z

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    Helen 5 years ago

    Should have listen to you guys....Don't do it. Epic fail...now i'm in a horrible place.

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    BeatsByE40 5 years ago

    Ok I am 15 and male there is a girl 14 that I have been friends with for maybe less then a year I like her she might like me we text every day from around 5:30 to around 9 when she goes to bed we tell each other goodnight everynight. She goes to a diff school not very far just diff we hang out on weekends sometimes we went to the movies couple times that kind of thing she seems like she might like me gimmie some advice somthing

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    larry davida 5 years ago

    "I am a practitioner here in BELGIUM and have worked with Mr. wintchcraft spell several times. he is a true, genuine spiritual person, that possesses the powers to help in complicated and extremely difficult situations. his spell casting services are recommended to everyone that is in search for pure spiritual help wintchcraftspell@gmail.com contact him now."

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    Cheap jerseys 5 years ago

    I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it Smile I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post..

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    Helen 5 years ago

    I agree with you @anabelleharrison. Im 22 and In the exact situation as you. Everytime i build up the courage i back out like a coward. I love him so much but so scared i will ruin my life if i let my feelings known

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    Dominic 5 years ago

    I tried i failed she isn't even my friend anymore well life sucks and so does love figured that out on Valentines day *sigh* why did i try we were good friends.

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    Anabelleharrison 5 years ago

    Oh how I wish I had the confidence of these 12 & 13 year olds posting comments.

    I'm near 30, and am terrified of letting my feelings be known. I've known my best friend since we were in preschool. All through school, he was my first kiss, graduated together, everything. It's always remained on a friendship level though, even the first kiss. He is currently going through a divorce, and has recently came back into my life of not really keeping in contact for almost 8-10 years. When I say he's come back into my life, I mean texting, spending time together 2-3 times per week, you name it.

    What I'm scared of is losing the friendship, obviously. I'm terrified of that. Our mothers are best friends as well. With us knowing each other for so long, I don't know how to go about even telling him, or if I should. I don't want to be that person that, years from now, constantly asks myself "what if?"

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    Nan 5 years ago

    Good article!

    I am in a similar situation. I have known this guy for about 8 years now and known him really well for the last 6 of them. He's one of my closest friends, one with whom I can discuss almost everything. I don't know if I love him but I do like him a lot. I think even he has feelings for me. But I just can't muster up the courage to ask him / express my thoughts. I don't want to ruin our friendship but I also want something more than it. Strange dilemma !

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    AD.AD 5 years ago

    hey.. M 17. I love a girl from 10 years.. In starting yrs we just fight with each other as classmates.. But from last years we both have got mobile phones and shares messages.. We chat at an average o once per week.. I, once told her indirectly that i loved her but she said she doesn't feel the same.. So i twisted the talk n controled the situation telling the next day that it was my frnd who was doing all that .. So we again becom friends as usual.. She sumtimes send me messages which i feel she sent to get my attention.. I know the pain of being denied so don't feel it again.. I did'nt slept whole night on which she told me that she doesn't feel the same.. Now, i have come to know that she has a bf which i m not sure of... I love her more than myself... What should i do??

  • profile image

    Dalal 5 years ago

    I have a friend that dosent believe that i love her what should i d0?

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    kim 5 years ago

    i toll my best friend after 27 year of friendship and it was good for 5 mth and them it all went down hill from there and now we do not even chat know more and if i new this would have end up like this i would have neven to him how i was feel because i lost my bestfriend and i miss him so much the chat the lol the dinner the weekend away our date night that we had even thur night for 27 year our good time and our bad time so do not tell because in the end you do lose them

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    Micah S 5 years ago

    Hey im a junior and i like/LOVE this sophmore elizabeth but the thing is i am really shy and convicted about prom. First off she has spoken to me but she did it three times FIRST. I the afternoon after the third time finally managed to say hey to her. But its Febuary and prom is on April 20th. EVERYONE at my school has basically told her that i want to ask her to prom, to be honest i dont really want to go to prom because im a weird kid. I like hardly ever talk to anyone in my grade or up and when i do its usaully almost always negative. So if i ask her to prom she will probally say yes but i dont know if im ready for the girl i liked for 13 monthsn in secret to see what kind of guy i really am. I dont want her to get hurt by having her hopes up and then hate me later next year but i dont KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!Its torrmenting me everyday... can someone please help.......Let me say again i REALLLLLLY like her but i dont want her to think were dating because im not EVEN close to be in a relaionship with someone...ive already had two and they ended terrible both girls hate my guts now..... PLEASE HELP

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    peter 5 years ago

    Hello. I think i like my best freind but im not sure. What should i do? We r both 14 . I am a guy n she is.s a girl. She tries to talk to me alot but i just dont knw. And if i tell her my feelings i would want to go out with her an ifdk what wold happen. If she rejects me im afraid shemght tell everyone that i like her. Help!!!! My email is jkplatypus@ gmail.com. someone plllzzz email me wih advice. Pllllz

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    LOve 5 years ago

    I love my friend and I hope he feels the same way i have known him for years and went to middle school and elementary with him so here I go with this advise

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    cliria 5 years ago

    i dont know!?why but when he comes to me my heart beat is so fast,,he is an escort to our school and many pretty girls crush him but,aaarrrhhhggg,im so sorry cliford i just dont know how to i do,,,im so sorry im in love w/ u i hope u understand why!

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    dona belle 5 years ago

    it easy

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    emily paterson 5 years ago

    i am 13 i live in taree so dose my boyfriend but i never see him because he gose to a differnt skool wat do i doooo

  • mandymoreno81 profile image

    mandymoreno81 5 years ago

    I feel that if you think it'll be too awkward to tell your close friend that you love them, it's best not to do it. Your actions and words probably show appreciation enough. If there's no issue with them liking you and you possibly leading them on, you can always say you love them in a lighthearted joking manner.

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    vikas sharma 5 years ago

    i love my classmate name nisha very much but i don,t think she loves and she is also not my friend. So what i have to do. And i never talk to a girl before. Please sugges me. Waht i have to do?

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    john 5 years ago

    cool...

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    Shelly 5 years ago

    Hi im in my 30s ive been friends with this guy for 20yrs off and on recently we have been hanging out alot we decided to b "fwb" but im in love with him when we r together he kisses and hugs me for awhile takes me to luncnh and dinner he did tell me thatt whenn we were younger he had a major crush on me he used to introduce me as his friend and last week on the phone with his.friend he said "my girl" sjould I let him know or am I setting myself up for heartache..help

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    Jenn 5 years ago

    Hi. my name is Jennifer and I am 13 years old. i transfered schools when i was in second grade and the first person to talk to me, turned out to be my best friend. when we entered middle school, he looked more mature somehow. I spent a year always around him and realized that I love him. it is not just a crush. i have tried to tell him before, but i guess it scared him that his friend liked him that way and wanted to be more than friends. I spent two years away from him and i still feel the same way except the feelings are a lot stronger. Should i tell him again or just move on?

  • profile image

    Mohamad Bin 5 years ago

    Contact us for unsecured personal or business loan of any amount, we are ready to help you out. Our interest rates are reasonable. Here are some few questions from us: Are you in debts? Do you want to pay of your debts? Do you have plans in expanding your business? Do you want to get your self financially equipped? If yes then contact us and you will be given the best of all financial support.Many are out there that needs financial assistance with no opportunity. But this is an opportunity you can't afford to miss. We are out in the world to get most people that needs financial assistance financially equipped. For more information contact us via email:mohamadbinfirms@yahoo.com.sg

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    ela 5 years ago

    sorry i dident mean it i was going to say this is going to be help sull to me

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    ela 5 years ago

    this is stupid

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    kathy 5 years ago

    First, I wanted to thank you for the Lots-of-Luck spell that you have casted for me late last

    year; I must confess that the good luck that I have had for the last two months have been

    amazing, and I cannot thank you enough for them; things that were on the far ends of my

    imagination just some months ago have materialized, and I must say I am very content with what

    was brought about by your effort.thank to Dr.(gbocotemple@yahoo.com)

  • profile image

    Ash 5 years ago

    i m 17 now.We met around 2 yrs back.We became great friends and i used to discuss about my then crush.But i don't know why the feelings were changing.We used to be special for each other.i developed feelings for her.I couldn't resist further so had to convey it to her as soon.

    But the mistake was i confirmed the case with our mutual friend and told her about my feelings for her..

    After that we couldn't talk much around 7 mnths..

    i thought that she got to know about this and she was reluctant..but the case was different..she came to know about this when i was already with someone else..:/

    But i still felt the same for her.

    But after she came to know about this she again continued the talk and urged my feelings out...but still she says m special..

    i didnt want any relationship coz i felt she wasn't comfortable...

    Now,whenever we talk we end up discussin about the same topic..She had told me that she feels awkward..but what shall i do to remove that awkwardness...should we be only friends or ask her out soon?..

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    09w29w0 5 years ago

    wijdjqd

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    eden 5 years ago

    i love my boyfriend and he loved me and i told people and now he hates my guts i dont no what to do i want him back :'(

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    dont know what to do 5 years ago

    hhhmmmmm so I think I know what Im going to do. I think Im going to wait two and half more years until we're both 16 and if something hasnt already happened to where either one of us are dating other people or whatever Im going to ask him to go to like dinner has friends and then casually tell him that I like him. Yeah I think thats what I'll do. Hopefully I dont go crazy in the mean time.

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    Dylan 5 years ago

    Almost two years later and I'm commenting, weird right?

    Now, should I have found this little over a year ago, or even thought to look for it, I would have posted then but now I might as well share my little story with you all.

    We haven't known each other as long as some of you (a little over a year) and I may as well have chopped my own arm off the way I first spoke to her. Over the course of a few months we talked, and I genuinely wasn't looking for anything; but I found it. After knowing her for a few months I had intense feelings, though I thought them to be less than they were, I still know I felt something. I waited, I waited WAY too long, and another guy took this... well not perfect, we all have our flaws, wonderful, amazing girl that I thought the world of.

    Needless to say, I felt hurt, and upset, and in pain, and for a long while after that, I was hurt. It was a "as long as she's happy right?" type of a reasoning. Well, during that period I spent most of my time reflecting, and focusing on my personal insight into the lives of others. I became wiser than I ever would have otherwise, and honestly, I don't regret any of it going down the way it did.

    Fast forward about eight months and you've reached the end of summer 2011. Over the summer break (both of us are 17) we reconnected, started talking again. But it's still not enough, I still carry that same torch, and she's developed some semblance of feelings for me, but I still don't think we're ready for the relationship (hindsight, y'know) and so, I keep my distance.

    I'm still a close friend to her and we talk, almost daily (we miss a few every once in a while) and more recently (September-ish) she picked up a boyfriend. Now, for the other guy I was hurt; this guy, I was beyond angry. She had chosen, one of the people from my past I specifically held a deep dislike for, in my earlier higschooling, he had gone out of his way to give me a hard time. So again, I left. But after a month away, another month of growing, I came back.

    I honestly feel that I'm ready for this relationship, but at the same time, I still have some growing to do, and so does she. I told her my feelings somewhere along the lines and now they're a thing we joke about, but still I feel something. We both go to college in the fall (I'm technically already there... but I mean both of us) and for now I'm going to focus on my academics.

    I think I'll give us another shot in the fall. But for now... I think I'm good with friends.

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    Am 5 years ago

    I check this hub every few days because it's comforting to know that others are in the same situation. I will tell him one day, but it's hard to when I know I'll be rejected and he's so perfect. :'(

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    valleymaker 5 years ago

    I met my best friends before she started dating another friend of mine and a month before i got divorced. she helped me through the hard times and we ended up spending more time togetherthan she and her boyfriend did. Id stay at her house and we'd have "dates" every week, but nothing inappropriate. after she left her boyfriend i told her how i felt but and said she had to choose between him and me, and since she was with him she had buried her feelings for me. we stayed friends for months afterwards, but i simply couldn't take watching her with other guys. she still would fall asleep in my lap, kiss my neck constantly be touching me and we were always in contact. Last week i told her i couldn't be there to support her needs when now aren't being met, and she still couldn't see me as anything but a friend. i ended up saying goodbye and told her id be there if she changed her mind, but i had to find a way to move on. I'm miserable now, and the only thing that gets me out of bed is the hope that she'll realise how much she misses me and changes her mind. right now though, leaving was the biggest mistake I've made

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    Don 5 years ago

    I'm in about the same situation, i've known this girl for years, and lately i've developed strong feelings for her, I thought she had been giving me signs for like 6 months now (not gonna read them all up), so I told her that i've fallen in love with her, just couldn't keep it inside anymore.

    But her reaction was like "WHAT?! oh no...". Havent seen her, barely talked to her in a month now, shes my best female friend and I just hope she's not uncomfortable with me now, maybe I was just too straight-forward too soon.

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    Jorge 5 years ago

    Ok I loved my best friend for like 3 yrs but we never dated or had any really intimate moments (at least that's how I see it) she always was there when I had no one else and I was always there for her when she needed help. She and I both had relationships that ended abruptly. I also rushed to tell her my feelings and now I'm like, did I just ruin something that could've been everlasting, because she won't even talk to me and it hurts because I don't really have anyone else besides my Mom, Dad and best male friend. I just would like to know if it's possible to ever talk again or has my rushed inner feelings already doomed the relationship...and I also wrote her a letter explaining every time I wished I would've went with her, and also an ass of a phonecall that said a real man doesn't leak out his feelings...someone please help me out if you can, because I'd like to know if I have to move on or still try.

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    unsure 5 years ago

    i started seeing this guy i went to school with and things were going good. i had heard that he said he wanted things to progress with me but then it slowed down. he got less affectionate, and i found out he "doesnt want a relationship" but he still kisses me goodnight/goodbye every time we hang out. im not sure if hes not ready for a relationship right now or at all. he calls me everyday and we see each other all the time. i fell for him and now im not sure what he wants. i know he has intimacy issues from the past so should i just be patient and give him time to come around, or try and move on?? i want to tell him how i feel but im worried it will ruin our friendship and id rather have him in my life than not at all. WHAT SHOULD I DO???

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    Someone who needed help 5 years ago

    Hi. You can see my name so I'm not going to say it again. I like nearly all the other commenters here, am in love with one of my best friends. She (yes she is a she as am i[not so uncommon anymore]) said at one point that she was in love with me. She later claimed that she wasn't. Just the other day she asked if I still like her and I told her I didn't know how I felt (bc i was still trying to figure that out at the time). She said not knowing "made her sad". But she didn't know why she was upset by not knowing. She had seemed to decide that she wasn't going to be with a girl ever again. She had been with one (only the one) before but it hadn't turned out well. I know now that I am in love with her. But I don't know how to tell her that.

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    Jenny 5 years ago

    I'm just gunna write it on a piece of paper and put it in his locker

    :)

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    Cam 5 years ago

    Well told her and I guess it went good, I mean it was as much as I expected. She said doesnt even want to risk a relationship because it could ruin our friendship forever and I mean I understand that perspective completely and feel the same way except that no matter what I always want her in my life. Either way, she said she was glad I told her and I felt soo much better. A massive weight lifted from me that night lol. So just talk to them you know you have to anyways, thanks for the advice ladies and good luck to all.

    -Cam9333

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    danielle 5 years ago

    I understand you to Nicole but I have known this guy for about a year and he is the one i can go to about everything but I dont know if I can tell him these felling that are stuck in me cause. I'm scared it well mess up our friendship. Plus he told me he like me like the first month we met and at that time I didn't want to take such a big step like that. I just dont know what to do anymore. I NEED HELP

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    Nicole 5 years ago

    I do the same as you Helen, there's this guy I've known for just over a year and I love him so much, it really hurts. I know when I'm going to tell him so it's not as much of an issue for me but that time is several months away and waiting is really hard. Anyway, I've found that in this situation, time doesn't heal anything, because nothing's happened yet. You won't stop feeling anything until you've talked to him, otherwise there's always that doubt.

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    Tyler 5 years ago

    I told my best friend that I Loved her right before I shipped out to basic. I ended up telling her boyfriend to. It hurt brutally but I recovered and we are friends still. Though we are not together I am still in love with her. I hope that she'll come around one day however unlikely.

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    Helen 5 years ago

    I know i have to do it. i thought time heals wounds but clearly not. everyday my feelings just grow stronger and i waste my days thinking of him when he's not here with me. I give off a persona of being extravert and confident but deep down this just covers the shyness in me. Think its time he saw that side.

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    Nicole 5 years ago

    I don't think there's ever a 'right' time. There are better times, just not right times. In some ways I feel I need an excuse sometimes, something I can fall back on if it all goes horribly wrong, to say I love someone. Now's a good time because it's Christmas/holidays but I think you just need to be a little more forceful in saying that you need to talk, now and on your own. If you say it seriously enough I think he'll listen.

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    Helen 5 years ago

    Wish i could take my own advice!! Is there ever a right time or moment?? 'stuff' always seems to get in the way and before i know it another month has passed. Tears me apart every time i think about it.

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    Cam 5 years ago

    Thank you! yeah I know I forsure have to tell her, and I do plan on it

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    Helen 5 years ago

    Hay, I think its definitely time to tell her! yes its messed up..that is never going to change. If your 'friendship' is strong enough you will survive..and if its more than that then that's great! personally I would want to know then at least you can't be called fake and you both know where you stand. Love is such a strong feeling i think it will eat you alive if you do nothing. Don't have any regrets.x

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    Cam 5 years ago

    I like this site but I would really like some input from a girls perspective. Ok so I have really really strong feelings for my bestfriend Alex. She's just so perfect in every way and its almost like she doesnt even realize it. I met her like 3 years ago and have been best friends ever since and Ive always liked her. Around the time that I met her she went out with someone (We can call him bro A) who I am really good friends with he is a true bro. After that she went out with another really good friend(B) of mine for like two years.After they broke up I thought I really would have a chance but it just seems like I have dug myself so far into the friendzone that it feels impossible to get out. Honestly tho, I want nothing more than her, she is absolutely all I think about and we are so close. I have always helped her through relationships and breakups and the guys always end up treating her like shit and I just cant even take it. I mean obviously Im going to at least tell her to get the feelings out there but its hard because there are just some many options and repercussions.

    1. I tell her and find out she feels that same. its what I want more than anything, but it comes with distancing myself from bro B because I mean it just has to. we are somehow all really close and its just fucked up i dont even know.

    2. I tell her and get rejected. Shitty but at least we would still be friends and maybe get closer. I mean at least she would know how I feel.

    What sucks is that I just feel like I would forsure have to distance my self from the whole situation for a whilee if it does not work out. And I heard that she just had sex with bro B. Like WTF it just pisses me off, I mean that at least could have been me right, who actually likes her like this and not just trying to fuck my friend. IDK I just feel like this whole thing is just fucked its so terrible, im a twice spun third wheel and I cannot do this anymore. Plus I kinda feel like it would make everyone feels weird cuz two of my best bros already have dated her?

    Should I just distance myself from everyone and get over it, try to anyway, and just do my own thing for awhile? And I know we could have the most amazing relationship, no matter how long i have to wwait this feeling will nver go away, it legitimately not going anywhere. I have tried but i cant even keep a relationship because she is all i even want to think about. idk i just hate this shit it sucks

    To anyone who took the time to actually read all of this i really appreciate it lol it really makes me feel better tho. input much appreciated as well :)

    Alex if you read this I LOVE YOU

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    5 years ago

    I love Allison watkins.

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    Helen 5 years ago

    I have chosen to tell him as well...tomorrow is the night... the signs so far have been good...im soooo excited!! i want this more than ever! I think its for the best.

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    Nicole 5 years ago

    You'll be fine, really. Things hardly ever turn out as bad as you think they're going to. We fear the worst but often it doesn't happen. Let me know how things go :)

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    crissy79boy 5 years ago

    Thanks for the advice Nicole. I plucking up the courage to tell her this Saturday. I've never felt so nervous in my life.

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    Nicole 5 years ago

    Sounds to me like you have nothing to lose by telling her how you feel. Relationships clearly don't phase her so she won't be massively freaked out. Those signs seem pretty obvious to me, go for it ;)

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    crissy79boy 5 years ago

    Hi all. I have just joined the hub for some advice on this topic.

    I have been best friends with a woman for about 10 years and we are really close. We live in different towns in the week and we spend our spare weekend-time together.

    We trust each-other and talk about things only the two of us know. She is also very tactile and always gives me a warm hug, smile and a kiss (sometimes very close to my lips).

    She always invites me out if there is an event or concert and I do the same. And when we txt each-other she always puts "love you loads xxx" or something similar.

    Now this is the tricky bit. She had a messy breakup with her boyfriend not so long back and recently got with another chap about 4 months ago soon after.....(possibly on the rebound)

    I've been getting alot of signs from her over the past year or so. One example is when I found out she is with her new boyfriend I made a big step and said "I was gonna ask you out on a date" and her reply was "well you should've Mr." and we joked about it, just like we joke about being married together. Now we have been talking about getting a place together and I asked her about what her new boyfriend would feel about that and she said that he would have to learn to accept it. Another example is when she said to me "You had a chance a while ago"...and then when I started to feel a bit deflated she said quietly "There's nothing stopping you", and this was when she is still with her new boyfriend.

    Sounds all well and good so far. But, it's me with the deep feelings for her and i'm totally besotted by her and fallen for her like i've never felt before with anyone else. And when we say goodbye to each-other, I usually go home gutted.

    So, all I ask from you is some advice on how to tell her how I feel about her, and whether the signs i'm getting are promising. I want to tell her how I feel without trying to jeopardize her new relationship and not to jeopardize our friendship.

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    Amwi 5 years ago

    I know it's really hard Helen, but I think you should tell them at some point. It's really awful keeping your emotions bottled up inside you, in the long run I think it would be better if you told him/her, to let your feelings out, that way you won't be carrying a weight around on your shoulders. It will probably take some time but if your friend is a good one they'll probably be able to put it behind them if they don't feel the same way. If you do decide to let them know I wish you all the best :)

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    Helen 5 years ago

    Why is this so hard. Its just tearing me apart. My only excuse is that i don't want to lose my best friend. Which is more important having what i dare to dream of or settling for something which isn't broken?

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    Amwi 5 years ago

    I've been reading through some of the comments and I really identify with some of them. This is obviously an issue that many people struggle with and it's really great to find others in more or less exactly the same position as you.

    I'm 15, there's this guy at school who moved to our school just over a year ago, he's reeeeeally gorgeous and we share loads of interests and a sense of humour, we're always chatting, we sit together in lessons loads and we're really good friends. I love him so much, every time we're together I feel so sad, I've felt this way almost ever since he moved to our school. I asked him out about a year ago and he said no but I was sort of ugly then :L I had bad hair I just didn't look great. He went out with my best friend I've known for 9 years, and now he's sort of in love with my other friend, who's in a really deep relationship already, but he keeps giving me signs that make me think maybe he does like me. Last night at my friend's birthday party we kissed on a dare (twice.) It was my first proper kiss and I really want to tell him how I feel because there's a chance he might feel the same and I need to get my feelings off my chest but I don't want it to be awkward. I'm going to wait until the end of the school year (as we're going to different colleges) and that way I never have to see him again if I don't want to and neither does he. I don't want to lose him yet.

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    BLAH BLAH! 5 years ago

    I Told One Of My Really Goodfriends That I Loved Her About An Hour Ago. I said," Anyway I Love You, Goodnight."

    She said,"I Love You Too, Goodnight." Were just friends though.

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    Royo 5 years ago

    I'm 13,a girl nd am deeply in luv with my best male friend.i think he feels d same 4rm his actions nd his 4rends and mine have told me dis but he hasn't gotten courage 2 tell me. Do u think i should tell him? Help pls.

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    wwwwat 5 years ago

    you need not to use the word 'love' when you want to talk to someone about your feelings. You can always say that "I always have such a great time hanging out with you" or "you're one of my favourite people" or whatever else you can come up with, say it like you're kidding, and depending how she responds you should be able to tell if she feels the same about you. In case that she does feel the same about you, it will be evident to her that you like her, if not she'll just see it as a joke and won't freak out. I mean we're talking about friends here right? you should know your friend well enough to tell if she likes you or not, if you're doubting her feelings for you then you shouldn't say "I love you" it sort of demands an answer and commitment right away, play it cool man.

    Seriously if you're unsure stay away from the cliche *brush her hair away, kiss her, and say i love you* (that only works if both of you feel the same, in that case you don't even need to say anything you both will feel it)

    If only I'd followed my own advice... haha oh well thats how we learn

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    dont know what to do 5 years ago

    Alright so i'm 13 and i love my best friend whos only like one day older than me. Everybody in my class knows that i love him........ except him. Oh and by the way i am a girl just to clear that up. I've always loved him but a few years ago he left and he only came back at the beginning of this year and in that time i just fell in love with him even more. I dont know if he likes me back or not but i think he does maybe. One of my other friends who's a guy always ask us why we dont go out. Every time i just stay quiet but he says its because we're best friends and he had already asked someone out. But she said no and she's 2 years older than him. He wasn't upset so i was absolutly happy but i didnt tell him that. I just dont know if i should tell him if i like him or just wait to see if he will eventually just say he likes me or what. I've known him my whole life but i dont know if it will make things awkard or what.

    @helen- all that i can say is if you think he likes you, you could write him a note or just try talking to him. Sorry i dont have very good advice but i've never had a boyfriend or anything. Well i tried. Anyways good luck!!

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    Helen 5 years ago

    For anyone that cares, he seems to like me too!! Yey!! Now I need advice! I didn't think what to do next!

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    Helen 5 years ago

    You sound far to young!! Let time pass i'm sure you will look back an laugh. But for now immerse yourself in your school work...You don't want to loose out on a great life over some 'player'. Focus on life achievements not some idiot. The right guy will be waiting for you around the corner.

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    Abbbster 5 years ago

    Well... What if you've been best buddies forever and you have already kissed as kids (8yrs old)but then his feelings went away and now you have a major crush on him and he's a player(12 yrs old) we have both matured and love him with all my heart and he might know but he might not know he alreadyon like his 15th girlfriend since school started (3-4 months ago)

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    Abbbster 5 years ago

    Well... What if you've been best buddies forever and you have already kissed as kids (8yrs old)but then his feelings went away and now you have a major crush on him and he's a player(12 yrs old) we have both matured and love him with all my heart and he might know but he might not know he alreadyon like his 15th girlfriend since school started (3-4 months ago)

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    Helen 5 years ago

    @Mechohosepop - All I can say is at least you have tried the relationship already and you know it doesn't work. It makes me feel hopeful that friendships can happen and last after love. If she is a true friend, perhaps you should lay your cards on the table, tell her what you feel. I think she needs to know. Even if she doesn't feel the same way you both know where you stand as friends and she may make it easier for you to be around her. I only say this because I believe your friendship is strong enough.

    Love tares people apart but can also bring unlikely people together. How do I live with myself if a loose the one person I have ever loved if or when I tell him. I don't know if i can do it...I need to be happy but I don't want to loose my friend.

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    Mechohosepop 5 years ago

    well im in a different situation i was already with this girl and it didnt last long. then we became best friends and i have even stronger feelings for her now than ever.the first time we broke up because we lost what we had as friends...we became best friends and everything is back at least for me. please can someone give me some advice?

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    jay jay 5 years ago

    never easy to move on. but it seems that she has move on quite easily. it make me angry.

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    jay jay 5 years ago

    @helen very true. but it sucks how things go that way. i lost my best friend. i been trying to work things out between us. trying to get back. but everything so awkward now. seems like she doesn't care anymore i know i messed up but how can you forgot of all the things I've done. but i guess that life it goes on. yea it's hard but i guess it's just what's it meant to be. i lost her.

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    That guy over there 5 years ago

    I wish it was simple to move on. Every night I dream of her. Everyday I wonder what she is up to. Every day I wonder what would have happened if things were different. If we were together. Now she has a football player to love her. She never knew that I still love her. She still doesn't. I never found the words to say she is the one I think of everyday. No. Instead I insulted her intelligence, saying how "I was raised to be a smarty pants but instead I hang out with you guys." it sounds so horrible but I never meant it that way. I was trying to say I would rather hang out with her than with a bunch of smarty pants people because she actually cared about how I feel. Yet she knows not that I love her. To this day. To this very minute. Every beat my heart takes is only because I know she is happy. Im sorry you know how this pain feels. To love your best friend and not tell them. It's so painful. I hope everything works out for you.

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    Helen 5 years ago

    @That guy over there. In no way are you a monster for showing your true feelings. And if she cant see it then she doesn't deserve you. You probably wont be able to move on and yes it will be hard to see her with other people but at least you know what love feels like and one day you will feel it for the right person and you will be extremely happy.

    I have these feelings too, and it sucks. My heart feels so heavy everyday and I don't know what to do. Time will pass and I'm sure everything will be good we just can't see it yet.

    Hang in there you will make it to the other side. xxx

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    aqsakahn-aqsa 5 years ago

    my friend is nit added plase my solve promblem

    plase

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    That guy over there 5 years ago

    I freakin made her mad and she de friended me on facebook. But after looking at what I did, I don't blame her. Right now on this very night, I may have lost the best friend I ever had. And I am very sorry for it. I am truly a monster.

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    Just my 2 cents 5 years ago

    @ That guy over there - Jay Jay is right. Although it is harder to do that it is to say, you just have to move on. Right now it seems like she is just using you as a crutch and she may not even thoroughly realize it. I know you may just be glad that you are still friends with her but that's not the way to go because clearly, the friendship is hurting you. I know you feel that you love her more than you can ever possibly explain, but trust me, when you do find yourself in a true relationship (more than just friends) with someone, you will learn what love really is supposed to feel like; when the other person loves you back - and it will be so much more stronger.

    I advise you to pull away from this friendship, because its hurting you too much. If you want the hurt to go away, you have to help yourself, because she's not changing. It's too hard to stay and watch her with other guys, and hear about who she's in love with. The best thing to do is surround yourself with friends and family as a support system. I don't mean you have to tell everyone what's going on with you and her, you just have to keep yourself (your mind) occupied. Go places, do things with people, just stay busy. When you're alone, all that does is cause your mind to think (over think) about her and the situation. You might go over different scenarios about what you could have done differently, but that'll just hurt you more. Keep your distance from her and start doing good for yourself.

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    jay jay 5 years ago

    Everything happens for a Reason. Even though sometimes we don't understand the Reason, it eventually gives and leaves us a Lesson. don't stress it. friends come n go. best friends stick around no matter how hard the situation is.

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    jay jay 5 years ago

    hardest thing to do is trying to act like you don't care when you really do. hardest thing to do is letting something or someone you love, go. but it's the best for you. hardest things to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else... we all been through it i know whats it like i hate how girls fall for these idiots. but the hardest things to do is MOVE ON.... be strong bro more important things in life. Believe in yourself...

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    jay jay 5 years ago

    don't put yourself down like that. it only bring you down. avoid her. the beauty is inside you. live your life!! it's sad for me cause our friendship isn't gonna be the same. we don't talk like we used don't share things we each other like we used to we don't act like we used to but i'm not letting that get to me it made me stronger and better person . it hurts but sometimes it's best to try then to give up. it's gonna take time for all of us. Time heals.

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    That guy over there 5 years ago

    Look at me. I'm letting my depression talk for me. But I can't ever let her go. She has been hurt enough already.

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    That guy over there 5 years ago

    I feel like an empty shell. A void where people can dumb their garbage in. I love her so much. But will she ever love me? No one will ever want to be with a freak like me.

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    jay jay 5 years ago

    bro your gonna have to move on. i know it hurts but she apparently doesn't care about your feelings. put yourself first not her. don't let it get to you. time to mov eon to bigger and better things. don't let one person ruin your life. plenty of other girls out there looking for a guy like you don't worry. slowly were moving just gotta be strong. i would stop talking to her and move on. explore your options go out an dhave fun you don't need that trust me. i been there already and i'm forgetting about it. stop interacting with her. its hard but you can do it. girls are hold on guys cause of the attention they get from them. or like comfort pillow. some girls just don't know how to let go. always get back or still talk to their ex. IT'S YOUNG LOVE. when you get older and you learn from it you'll realize...... only gonna make you stronger and smarter. do your own thing..

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    Dylan 5 years ago

    So I told her everything. She's staying with the guy who cheated. And left me broken n shit. She lead me on ridiculously.

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    That guy over there 5 years ago

    She was beautiful then and still is to this day. This hour. This very minute. I only want her happiness. But does that honestly mean I have to give up mine for her's? I never loved anyone as much as I love her now. Things couldn't get any worse.

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    That guy over there 5 years ago

    Idk, jay jay. That's one question I may never answer. At least she tells you she loves you. She told her friend she loved the football player. And it hurts you know. Knowing that you could have had a chance if you did something different or played your cards better. Who wants to go out with a band geek when there is a football player that loves them too. A effen football player. And it's multiple people who ruin my life. Not just her. Thing is, if I tell her I still love her, what will she do? She would want me out of the equation. Out of her life. The only reason I got back in was because I "Got over her" which I clearly didn't. You know what I mean when I say I love her with my whole heart. Well I love her with my heart, mind and spirit. I never forget the first day I net her.