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How to Write Your Own Unique Wedding Vows

Updated on February 25, 2010

Writing your own wedding vows can make your ceremony unique and memorable. However, writer’s block can set in and make the task seem difficult. Here are some tips to help you in the process of writing your own vows.

1. Get Clearance

Be sure to check with your officiant to make sure it is okay with him or her that you write your own vows. Many religious officiants will require that you conform to certain prescribed vows, or at least that you incorporate specific phrases. Most officiants will also want to read your vows beforehand, so make sure that you plan to finish in time to get feedback.

2. Back to Basics

Find a quiet time to sit down and work on your vows. Ask yourself these questions: What is the thing I love best about my future spouse? How did we meet and how was that meeting memorable? What am I looking forward to most about being married? How will my life change by being a wife/husband? How does my future spouse make me a better person or my life more enjoyable? Once you have the answers to these questions, use them to write your vows. If you’re having trouble putting pen to paper, consider using a tape recorder, or even get the help of a close friend to verbally talk to.

3. Gather Materials

Read others’ wedding vows. Read love poetry and listen to music. Consult popular wedding readings. Take phrases or sentences that resonate with you and use those in your vows. While you don’t want the entirety of your vows to consist of a recited poem, taking a few elements from material that speaks to you can really enhance your vows. Choose phrases that you feel describe your future spouse or your relationship.

4. Practice

Reading your vows from a piece of paper at the altar is not nearly as impactful as reciting vows you have taken the time to memorize. However, there is always the lurking fear that you will forget parts of your vows or blank once you are in front of people. To prevent this, practice your vows often. Recite them aloud while you are in the car; recite them to a friend; recite them to the mirror. Make sure those words are so ingrained in your head that there is no way you will forget them on your wedding day!

Image Credit: kairosPhotography, Flickr


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