How to appreciate your spouse? Magic wand!

‘Marriage is a journey that leads you to deserts, tropical islands, and Alaskan cruises. The victory in the journey is making sure you and your spouse are dressed appropriately for your current destination.’ –Unitha L. Muhammad

What is appreciation?

• It is a positive reception you get from others.Let us suppose you are performing before an audience. When you give your best, your ears are peaked for the echo of thousands of hands clapping in appreciation.

• You feel that applause and appreciation is an acknowledgement for your performance. When the audiences thunder their appreciation, you feel you have done a wonderful job and want to do better and better. That is the power of appreciation! Suppose the audience sits tight without reaction, you literally feel your energy level dropping and your performance becomes lackluster and dull.

Human nature is such that it seeks approval from others to feel worthy.Your marriage also needs appreciation more than anything else. ‘Won’t it sound artificial if I have to appreciate my spouse? Both of us are doing our duty and why make a big fuss about it? Do you have such a mindset? This is one grave mistake you should never make.

What are the aspects of your spouse that needs appreciation?

• His\her efforts to be presentable
• His\her care towards the family
• His\her dedication towards work
• His\her input of work for the welfare of the family.
• His\her support in times of problems.

When you live together, you observe lots of good qualities of your spouse. You do not pay attention to it and ignore it and let it pass off unattended. You do it unintentionally, but it causes immense pain in the mind of your spouse.

Do you know why marriages become dull and boring? It is because you have ceased to observe your spouse and just drift along your family life. There is nothing exciting in your marriage if you do not make your spouse feel good that his\her input of hard work is being observed and appreciated by you. Appreciation gives happiness, involvement and energy to your marriage as nothing else.

Do you have to appreciate your spouse only through words?

Do you know small gestures speak volumes than words?

When your spouse hugs you with affection for the things you had done, you feel an absolute sense of belonging. A pat in the cheeks, affectionate hands around the shoulders, ruffling of the hair are all tokens of appreciation shown emphatically.

Words of appreciation!

• Thank you
• You are the best
• I do not know what I would do without you
• I adore you
• I love you

Do you feel saying these beautiful and magical words are artificial and stilted? If you think so, you are missing the emotional adulation it evokes in your spouse. When you do not openly appreciate your spouse, it makes him\her feel used and uncared and it is your open comments and gestures that finally make all the difference.

Do you know why marriages slip into mediocrity and dullness?

• It is because you become too concentrated on materialistic affluence of your family that you coolly overlook such tiny intricacies of your marriage.

‘Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.- Leo Buscaglia

When you feel loving towards your spouse, say it openly. When you feel your spouse is caring and helpful, show that you appreciate her\his thoughtfulness. Try appreciating your spouse and experience the world of positive changes it brings to your married life.