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Does she want to date you? How to Ask Her Out

Updated on February 5, 2013

Why rushing in is not always the best way

If you like a girl and wish to ask her out its always important to gauge her interest level before you do so. There are two types of girls however: A girl who you have known for a while and see all the time and a girl who you have met once but wont see them again. In the second scenario you're more likely to be rejected because she doesn't know you, on the other hand if you see a girl that you will never see again i would say go for it, why hold back if your not going to see her again? I always think it is better to get to know a girl first and show her you are fun and attractive. In a situation of seeing her every day I advise gauging her interest before making a move.

Gauge her interest first

Does she like you? You must find out whether her actions and body language show that you have her attention, if you can't work this out it most likely means she isn't interested. honestly if a girl is interested she will make it known, she will not make it difficult for you as she will be in places where she is noticed by you but also in places where she makes it easy for you to ask her out. If she isn't making it easy for you to ask her out then its very likely she isn't interested and her interest level isn't there to take it a step further.

Do not be her wussy guy friend and be yourself

Most of the time guys and girls for that reason cannot be themselves around people they like, but this is where i tell you to be yourself no matter what. If she has some effect on you don't allow it to, simply be okay around her and act around her like you would your other friends. Also don't be her guy friend who runs after her with flowers or asks for hugs, as far as i know this doesn't attract the majority of girls, an occasional hug is fine but your not out there be a softy pants who is phased by a girls beauty, simply be you.

Be fun and attractive, don't be overly available

I put this because the best way to solving the problem of being yourself is just to do fun things, this allows you to calm down and not let your emotions get the best of you, this goes double when you come to asking her out on a date. If you have fun and don't make the situation difficult then it wont be difficult it will just be fun and it allows girls to let their guard down and have fun too, they want someone to trust. If you are always available it will look like you can't wait to get a girlfriend or a lay, this is unattractive. To be really attractive focus on yourself as a person, have lots of hobbies, do well with your studies and hang out with your friends. If you make a girl your priority and start chasing her all the time she will think you don't have anything else to do.

Attraction can be quite coincidental, it requires little effort but much patience

This is something i know from experience, do not impress women as they do not want to be impressed by you 'trying' to impress them. Like i said above being yourself is key to impressing because it becomes rather effortless to attract the opposite sex, the person who is in a rush to ask a girl out will not win simply because he is too focused on it working. Instead of making it work allow it to work on its own, let it flow, do not push it. Girls want things to happen gradually. This story goes its own path, you cannot manipulate the story line by giving to get.

Speak to her casually and feel out the vibes you get from her

If you have gauged her interest and are not sure how she feels you can still be casual or friendly and say "hi", this way you can feel her out during conversation. Ask her about something such as homework or ask her her about what shes currently doing. Obviously don't ask silly questions! Show an interest in what she is saying and speak to her like she is just another person, almost like when you speak to your best buddies or your brother/sister. When you talk her to and get to know over the space of a month or two you will be able to see how she responds. See if she responds casually or self consciously. If she is more self conscious around you shes interested. Look at any hints or clues she is giving you, if she is sees your as more than a friend she will let you know both consciously and unconsciously.

Always remain the same You and see if she comes to you

After you have gotten to know her she will either feel more attraction or she will remain friendly towards you, i am a huge fan that if she is just being friendly then it is pointless to ask her out, that is my vision on it. Girls usually don't choose to go out with someone they feel nothing for. If however you feel she likes you and you can see clear signs that she likes being around you then you should up your interest too and ask if she wants to go out at the weekend, do this casually. You can also ask for her number, I don't advise asking her straight as a girlfriend until you are 100% certain she is interested. Trust me on this, her interest will not jump from 60% to 100% just because you ask her out. Do not be the guy who jumped too early.

The right time to ask her out is when she is ready

Girls aren't usually ready for a guy to suddenly just walk up to her and ask her out and a lot of time it can result in being rejected, this is not because its you but because you probably didn't let attraction flow naturally. To make them feel attracted you must be attractive, some tips are: 1) patience 2) have goals and confidence 3) have a fun bright life. Point 1 is required because girls don't like to be rushed, their attraction grows slowly prior. Point 2 is about how you see yourself, if you think you are attractive you are attractive, you do not need to have Brad Pitt looks. And point 3: a girl will have more interest in you if you have your own life to deal with, she isn't looking just for love and good feelings, she is also looking for someone who doesn't put her above everything. She wants a guy with a lot going on, if your life is her well..

And finally!

When she is ready she will make it obvious period, she will probably cuddle up to you or go out with you at the weekend and touch your hands. She may be less forward but you can still sense she is overly friendly towards you or very energetic towards you, this is a sign of her trying to be her best self when around you. Why would she want to be her best self around you? Because she likes you. If this is a girl you see everyday somewhere let the attraction build slowly then make a move when the time is right. Remember the right time is when she is ready to be asked out, its not just about when your ready. Thanks for reading!

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    • Anky XC profile image

      Anky Patel 6 days ago from India

      99% Correctly Said.

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      Marian Basescu 2 years ago

      Interesting and useful, thanks a lot Jay.

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      Amanda 2 years ago

      This is totally correct, except some girls are too shy to physically touch. Remember, most girls (unless you are super crazy sneaky) are trying to find out , if you like them too, if you see them on a daily basis.

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      mike 4 years ago

      Wow, nice one and very true. Though you might want to elaborate a little more on "when she's ready", but I guess that would require a whole article on the matter, right? :P

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      tony 4 years ago

      dope liked it, not crazy mystery cult stuff just simple stuff. thanks a lot!

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      rabs 4 years ago

      all this so the two can break up after a couple of months :D

    • Nare Anthony profile image

      Nare Gevorgyan 5 years ago

      HUH! Cool! Just learnt some little secrets about guys way of thinking :D Voted up and awesome!