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How to ask a woman on a date

Updated on August 23, 2010

Key things to remember

 When preparing to ask a woman out on a date there are a few key things to keep in mind.

1. Forget the corny pick up lines and cheesy come ons.  A woman wants to be approached by a serious suitor, not the town idiot.

2. Women generally have a very keen sense of awareness.  She will be able to tell whether you are just interested in a one night stand, or if you are sincere in your attraction.  Check your motives before making your approach.

3. There is a difference between "cocky" and "confident", don't confuse the two or you are liable to scare her off.

What she's looking for

 1. Dress respectfully.  A woman needs to see that you are willing to dress nice for her.  Shower, shave, and put on something without wrinkles or holes.  Let her know you think she's worth it.

2. Be confident.  Nothing is more attractive than confidence.  Know that you are worthy of a date with this woman.  Know what your strengths are.  Make eye contact and speak clearly.

3. Be engaging. Have more to talk about than the weather or how pretty you think she is.  A woman needs to know you can carry your end of a conversation.

4. Be prepared.  Know where you want to take her, what day, and at what time.  If she isn't available you can be flexible, but you need to have a plan of action in place when you approach.

Personality does matter

 While physical attraction is the first primal response for humans, it is not the singular deciding factor of your fate when it comes to females. 

Be yourself.  If you're funny be funny. If your smart be smart.  Don't try to change who you are just to impress her.  Be secure with who you are. 


Making your move

 1. Make eye contact.  A woman needs to know you are talking to her, not a part of her body.

2. Speak clearly. This goes along with being confident.

3. Lead up to the question. Have 2 or 3 topics of interest to choose from. You don't have to use them all, but it is helpful to have a plan "B" in case your first topic doesn't interest her.  Enjoy some light conversation prior to asking her out.  Get her interested in wanting to hear more about you.

4. Save some of the conversation for later.  "Hey Jane, I would love to talk about this with you some more.  Would you be interested in having dinner with me on Friday?"

5. When she accepts your offer, finish with a solid exit.  "Great. I'll pick you up at 5:00.  It was great talking with you. I've got a meeting to get to, so I'll talk to you later."

In the event she declines your offer, don't take it hard.  Being polite and respectful of her space leaves the possibility of trying again sometime down the road.  "Well, that's alright.  I just thought I would ask.  I've got a meeting to get to, but I'll talk to you later." 


 Exchange phone numbers at an appropriate time.

If you have set a date more than a day in advance, call her the day before the date to confirm it.  "Hi Jill, I was just calling to let you know that I am looking forward to our date tomorrow.  Does 5:00 still work for you?"

This allows her a chance to back out gracefully if she's having second thoughts.  It allows her to reschedule if something urgent has come up without hurting your feelings.  It also shows her that you respect her (which is something you want to do).


The Date

 1. Be on time!

2. Be a gentleman.  Open her door for her and pull out her chair.  Unless she specifically tells you that she doesn't like it, or asks you to stop - most woman enjoy when a man treats them like a lady.

3. Mind your manners.  Chew with your mouth closed. Use your napkin.  Be polite to the waitstaff.  Leave tips... Let her see that you are a caring and considerate person.

4. Talk about more than just you.  Try to carry on a conversation that involves both of you getting a chance to talk and share.  While you may want to impress her with all you have to offer, you may end up coming off as self absorbed. 

5. Pay the bill.  Don't assume that she wants to pay half.  Don't ask her if she would like to split the bill.  Just take it when it hits the table and take care of it.  If she offers to pay for some, politely tell her it is your pleasure to take care of it.  If she insists, compromise and let her know that she can leave the tip.  Or you could use this as an opportunity to ask her out on a second date.  "How about if you let me pay this time, and you can take me out next time."


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    • Mom Kat profile image

      Mom Kat 5 years ago from USA

      I'm glad you enjoyed the hub :) Thank You!

    • profile image

      Emevor Love 5 years ago

      I wil be glad if the following:Physical affection/attention,Quality time,Acts of service,Affirmation(compliments) and Gift can be carried out as a lesson or act of teaching people.

    • profile image

      Love 5 years ago

      I wil be glad if the following:Physical affection/attention,Quality time,Acts of service,Affirmation(compliments) and Gift can be carried out as a lesson or act of teaching people.

    • Andi R profile image

      Andi R 7 years ago

      Good stuff! They should teach it in school!

    • Mom Kat profile image

      Mom Kat 7 years ago from USA

      My fiance and I did not meet in a conventional way, but if we had - this would have worked :)

      Thank you for your comment vydyulashashi

    • vydyulashashi profile image

      vydyulashashi 7 years ago from Hyderabad,India

      wow..nice tips for guys..

      can i ask u something if u don't mind??

      did he approached u in similar way or as u said how shud we?

      don mind ha..

      god bless u