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How to avoid a one night stand and the nightmare of waking up in someone else's bed

Updated on November 1, 2012
A one night stand can leave you puzzled, lost, confused and even shattered. Read on and take tips on how you can avoid the walk of shame the morning after.
A one night stand can leave you puzzled, lost, confused and even shattered. Read on and take tips on how you can avoid the walk of shame the morning after. | Source

There's a lot of talk about how to have a one night stand, but this post focuses on how to avoid a one night stand. It is aimed at reaffirming some of the basic things girls and women should watch out for while going to parties or meeting someone. One night stands are meaningless sexual encounters that may leave an emotional, mental and physical scar for life. Let's soak up on some much needed wisdom and remind ourselves how to avoid one night stands.

1) Don't give into peer pressure

Peer pressure can be one of the major reasons why girls and women alike fall into the trap of a one night stand or a sexual encounter. If you are in a group that talks about and takes part in activities that promote the same, feel free to step away and declare that you will not be a part of the chaos.

It is better not to succumb to peer pressure than to go along with the flow of things and then having to regret and worry about your past.

2) Don't have a sexual escapade simply because everyone else is doing it

It is very easy to get carried away and do what everyone else is doing, especially when you are a part of a group in school, college or even during a vacation.

Spring break or schoolies, make sure that you don't get sucked into the whirlpool of 'Everyone's doing it, why not me' A bad sexual encounter will leave an emotional scar for life.

Drinking the night away can have horrific consequences. Walk away when you think you've had too much to drink!
Drinking the night away can have horrific consequences. Walk away when you think you've had too much to drink! | Source

3) Don't drink too much

As obvious as it is, drinking too much can be a major lead up to a one night stand. Alcohol is a social lubricant and when you've had too much, it is hard to make good decisions. You may consider yourself a girl who can handle her drinks, but as the night goes by, a few drinks too many can easily lead to a one night stand with a total stranger.

For all you know, your sexual escapade may not even go beyond the dirty walls of the bathroom of the nightclub or the pub you are in. Know your limits, and stop drinking when you think you've had too much and just leave when before it gets too late.

4) Always have a place to crash at

"Where am I going to go after the party? It will be too late for public transport" If a question like this is plaguing your mind before a party, make sure you find the right answer before you step out of the door.

Call a responsible friend and make sure that you arrange for your stay at their place for the night. The last thing you'd want is to be caught up in is a moral dilemma involving a decision that leads to a one night stand at a friend's acquaintance's pad, just because you had nowhere else to go to.

5) Always have someone to go home with

"Can I drop you home?" are the dreaded words that often seem too kind or generous when a gentleman walks up to you at 3 am on a Friday night. If that gentleman is not the friend you had planned to go home with, do not budge, no matter how great a chord you struck up with him earlier.

If you are attending a party, a pub, a nightclub or a night out in the town, always have someone to drop you home or someone to go home with.

Going for a party? Take a friend along and make it double the fun and be double safe!
Going for a party? Take a friend along and make it double the fun and be double safe! | Source

6) Have a friend by your side and party in pairs

One of the best assets a single girl can have while on a night out is a trustworthy best buddy. Go out to parties with a friend and make a promise that both of you will watch each others' backs.

This means your friend will forget everything else in the world and be by your side if you become too drunk to handle yourself or in any other worst case scenario. You will do the same too.

7) Always remember that rich is not always nice

Suppose you are on a first date with a guy who has an expensive set of wheels, a Gucci suit, manners of the most humble gentleman ever, the seemingly kindest heart and the innocence that of a 2 year old. This kind soul may in fact be your worst nightmare.

Even if the person in question is an acquaintance of your best friend, remember that he is not your best friend. Make sure you are not blinded by the bling and excessive display of wealth could be a warning bell unless you are in the habit of being around the uber rich.

Did some stranger just offer you a drink? Don't be afraid to say no. That NO may be the most important NO in your life.
Did some stranger just offer you a drink? Don't be afraid to say no. That NO may be the most important NO in your life. | Source

8) Don't accept drinks from strangers or random acquaintances

It is widely reported that drinks can be spiked with hallucinogenic drugs that may leave you incapable controlling yourself for hours together.

Make it a rule and always get your drink yourself or from someone that you can trust your life with while you are on a night out.

9) If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't

If the thought "This does not feel right at all" crosses your mind before you are about to plunge into bed with a new acquaintance, it probably isn't.

Ask yourself again if the position you are in can hurt you in the future, physically or emotionally. If it still does not feel right, apologize and excuse yourself to make your way out. Get a cab and head home.

Speaking to a friend who genuinely cares about you can turn out to be the best thing you've done to avoid a one night stand
Speaking to a friend who genuinely cares about you can turn out to be the best thing you've done to avoid a one night stand | Source

10) Talk to a close and responsible friend

A last minute chat to a close friend can be god sent if the friend actually cares for your well being. If you find yourself in a compromising position with someone who you have met just moments back and you're thinking "Gee should I be doing this?", excuse yourself and speak to your responsible friend.

A moment of passion may have taken over logic, but a true friend may be able to bring you back to reality and stop you from doing something that you are likely to regret.

Note: This article is not meant to be sexist or gender biased. Women and men may both be equally prone to unwanted and undesirable sexual encounters.


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    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I agree this is excellent advice for young women and men. Men today need to be included. Number 3 will definitely make for some regrettable moments and many times embarrassing as well.

      One drink too many can cause you to end up with someone you don't really know. And many times when sober you don't want to know. Good tips and great advice. Thanks for sharing!

      Voted up and useful!

    • LoriSoard profile image


      8 years ago from Henryville, Indiana

      You are very brave to take on this topic. I think you did a nice job with it and offered some truly valuable advice. Voting up.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image

      Dexter Yarbrough 

      8 years ago from United States

      Great advice for women - and men! Thanks for sharing!

    • Sheila Lee profile image

      Sheila Lee 

      8 years ago from Canada

      Great advice! Well done! I voted up!

    • jimagain profile image


      8 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

      I may be a guy but I once had a terrible experience with a one night stand. I woke up in a motel with a strange woman. It seems we had gotten married the day before and we were on our honeymoon but it was awful!! (OK, maybe not all that awful...but I learned my lesson!!) Anyway our 'one-night stand' has lasted 27 years so far.

    • princesswithapen profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Thanks Tom, I'm glad you liked the advice!


      Indeed, too much alcohol and a fun night out can be a recipe for disaster and events that you wish didn't happen. I really appreciate your thoughtful comment, especially your last sentence. They are the words of a wise man. Nicely done!

      AurelioGlad you agree and thanks heaps for your warm feedback.


      Whoever knew one man's opinion could add such value to this hub! You are right and we all are in control of the friends we make and the people we chose to be around with. This post is all about making the right choices and taking right decisions. Remembering advice similar to what has been laid out in this post can mean the difference between awesome memories of fun times, or emotionally shattering memories of horrific events. Thanks for a lovely comment and I'm glad you liked this hub.


      I guess you will have to find out for yourself!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      what about girls who just wanna have fun?

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      8 years ago from Chicago

      Excellent advice! Sex should only take place between "consenting adults". If you really don't want to do it than don't allow other people or circumstances to dictate your decision. Having said that it's important to remember each of us selects our own friends, lovers, and spouse. We really can't blame other people for (our own choices). Some people actually drink to have the "courage" to do what they really want to do anyway. It's your life, take the wheel! One man's opinion! :-)

    • alocsin profile image

      Aurelio Locsin 

      8 years ago from Orange County, CA

      I think #3 is probably the biggie in causing regrettable one-night stands. Voting this Up and Useful.

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 

      8 years ago from North Carolina

      Excellent guide for the young ladies Princess. From past experience..ahem, drinking too much is the number one thing for a woman-and a man for that matter- to be in control of. What you keep is far more valuable than what you give away with loss of inhibition.

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 

      8 years ago from Ohio

      This is all good advice....well done. :o)


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