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How to avoid the Man you DON'T want

Updated on September 24, 2015
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Disclaimer

This article is based off opinions, dating data, observation, and personal experience. This article shouldn't be use for any other purpose other than food for thought. I am not a medical professional and my article shouldn't be used in replacement to medical advice or treatment. Feedback negative or positive is always appreciated as long as it is done so in a respectful manner. Please don't leave hateful comments at the bottom of the page. Those comments will be deleted. Thank you as always for reading!

What we want vs What is actually out there

Welcome my lady readers! Before we start, I want to say if your a man reading this for insight into the female mind you're awesome! If your a man reading this trying to bring down women or find this article offensive please stop reading. Anyways ladies, we all know somewhat what kind of man we want. You only been dreaming about him since your preteen years! So your probably thinking or have thought after a few failed relationships or bad ones that he must not exist. Well, I'm here to tell you that your superman does indeed exist. The best part, he isn't on some other planet, he is closer than you realize!

Before we get into how to get your super dude, I must talk about what is actually out here in the dating world. Their really is only two types of men. Your dream man and the guy who is your worse nightmare. Now most of the time we end up dating, breeding, or (worse) marrying the guy who turns out to be your worse nightmare! So unfair right? What if I could tell you how to turn the odds of getting to your super dude around? That's right ladies, I have been studying the dating world for a long time and finally found the solution. Ready?

Some more good traits
Some more good traits | Source

Know what you want

Now the first problem with finding our super dude, is that true we have been dreaming of him since like 12 years of age, BUT we only seen/felt pieces of those sweet dreams that we can recall. So how do we even truly know what he looks like or if he exists? The answer is you have to know exactly what you want BEFORE you go out into the dating world. You must be so sure that you know almost INSTANTLY by looking at him that he could possibly fit those shoes. How do you that? Never fear ladies, I wouldn't leave you out here without a blueprint!

#1-Intelligence

Face it when comes right down to it, we want a guy who is intelligent enough to keep us totally interested in almost everything he says! We also as women yearn for a man strong enough to lead a family if needed. So he has to be intelligent that way he can make enough money to hold down our lifestyles or make it better!

#2- Romantic

As women we NEED a lot of ATTENTION! It's just how were programmed, so how a guy shows attention to US (women) by being romantic. We all have different levels of what romance to us is, and we want a guy who can at LEAST meet us half way. So you want to pick a dude who is confident and has no problem with showing his woman how special she is.

#3- Good Sense of humor

Nothing is worse than being around someone who doesn't get you. Or doesn't delight in your quirky sense of humor. OR WORSE HAS NONE AT ALL! So the goal here is to pick a guy who truly finds you amusing. He may seem a bit odd to you or others, but he just delights in your sense of humor around things.

#4- Stylish

I know some of you are thinking I don't care how he looks! Don't kid yourself sweetie, because if he shows up at one of your social events with people you care about looking horrid. Your going to regret it and possibly be the center of unwanted gossip. You know your dream man always wears a certain style of clothing. Everyone has a sense of style they like on a man, pick a guy who can match that style and is familiar with it.

#5- Body Type/Culture

We live in a time where cultures have blended together and people enjoy living outside what is expected. Although you know what culture your dream guy is already! He looks a certain way because it is typical of HIS culture. So if you don't feel he fits somewhere near that then you probably won't feel as connected. As for body type, ladies be honest here you know what type of body on a man your attracted too. So don't SETTLE for less because damn your going to be the one who has to look at it everyday!


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Know what you Don't want

Just like its important to have at least a blueprint of what you want in man. It is JUST as important to know what you don't want in man. The truth is we end up lonely, angry, desperate, and hateful because we let these men who wasn't the one drive us insane. If we wasn't crazy enough as it is, it is time for us ladies to learn one thing. We have a dating profile and not like one on the internet. So your being advertised in the wrong circle of men if your not happy with what your getting. So change your advertisement! How? By realizing the blueprint of the wrong types of guys.

#1- Commitment Phobia

The worse thing for women is to deal with a guy who is so scared to make a real commitment. Their is a reason for that, a guy who is afraid of commitment like a phobia is very insecure of himself, his status in life, is usually depressed, can't hold down anything or keep anything, and has deeper underlining issues. You want to avoid guys like this because they're truly a waste of time and usually not worth it in the end anyways! This doesn't apply to the average guy who is HESITANT of commitment because that's normal.

#2- Your guilty without a fair trial or hearing

This type of guy is narrow or closed minded, and no matter what you do if he thinks something of you that's it. Ladies, if you feel like your on trail and no matter how hard you plead your case or no matter how much evidence you have to combat the charge. Your always found guilty. Or worse, you don't even get a chance to have your case heard, your just charged and guilty. Stay AWAY from those kind of men who think like that because when the tables are turned and your back is against the wall he will think like that! Meaning he won't be on your side, he will accuse you of everything, and no matter what will feel slighted.

#3- Nothing you do is ever good enough without him complaining

A man who loves you and holds you in HIGH SELF ESTEEM will never complain about the nice things you do for him because he feels lucky/blessed to have you. A man who never seems to care or acknowledge what you do without finding something to complain about? Make no mistake doesn't love you or value you. Why? Simply because think of someone he really loves and ask yourself this: If this person did something for him, big or small, would he complain and treat that person like crap when they gave it to him? FOR EXAMPLE, like if this person really loves their mother, and their mother brought him a shirt he didn't really like would he say to her: "I hate it, after everything I do for you like buying you a mother's day gift, you get me this ugly shirt?" Of course not.

#4- Internet Booty Patrol

You want to avoid guys who are always on the internet patrolling to find women who have a nice booty. I mean like its a job, everyday, no matter how comfortable he is at home. You will observe this behavior within the first few months of dating him. Why avoid? Because unless you look Jlo, or Beyonce, your always going to feel irritated by his need to fill up his brain with that crap. It won't ever get better either, he will find away like a job to do it. Regardless if he knows it hurts your feelings. I mean seriously, who wants to be with a guy who patrols other women's butts all the time its just creepy.

#5- No respect, No regard, No communication, No apologies

Last but not least by any means, this type of guy doesn't respect your feelings, doesn't have any regard for making you happy, doesn't communicate without anger, and never apologizes for his downright rude behavior. This type of guy will only make you feel crappier and crappier each day you stay down for him. He doesn't deserve you period. This type of guy is always angry and never even tries to see his faults just deflects blaming you for any little thing. He will always make you out to be the crazy one because that's what crazy people do!

romance
romance | Source
find your dream man!
find your dream man! | Source

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In the end

If you find yourself dating the same cycle of men. Pause, then ask yourself why are these qualities standing out to you so much? Then look for the source of the problem. Next you need to change what you know! Don't try to change anyone for heaven's sake and don't wait around for someone else to realize they need to change! As women it is a maternal need to want to see our men grow into powerful strong healthy manhood. You understand? He hasn't reached manhood yet and your waiting for him to get there. Are you his mother or teacher? No don't be, because he will always show up like that and never reach manhood.

The best thing you can do for a guy who isn't what you need or want is to let him go. Yes he will be angry or feel slighted but is it any worse for you to waste your life waiting for something that will never be? Here is a rule of life ladies: You don't get the man you want or think he can be. You get the man he is when you meet him. Seriously it doesn't get much better than that, when you meet him he is putting his best feet forward. So after he has you, if it worked, that's who he is going to be. So if he start makes you angry within that month or weeks then guess what? That's just who he is. PERIOD, HE WILL NEVER CHANGE!! So don't be afraid to say good-bye.

Last note, I hope you have found this article to be useful, helpful, objective, and that it helps you avoid potential danger. Now please keep in mind ladies, the dating world is always changing, so this is some objective data. If you can follow this outline you might be able to pick yourself out a winner! I sure have seen it done, and wish I had this information when I was dating. Until next time ladies, ciao.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      I agree with you that really comes down to: "Know what you want"

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No!

      You learn to become a "better shopper"!

      When a person doesn't (know) what they want they're likely to allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices. It's like going shopping without a list!

      Anyone who is find themselves having one bad dating/relationship after another probably needs to re-examine their "mate selection criteria".

      The only thing all of your bad relationships have in common is (you).