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How to be a Good Kisser

Updated on June 16, 2011
"A kiss can destroy a philosophy."
"A kiss can destroy a philosophy."

In the movie "Hitch", Will Smith's character, Alex ‘Hitch' Hitchens, is a date doctor who counsels Albert, played by Kevin James, on how to get the girl of his dreams to notice him. Once that's over, he coaches Albert on how to behave during their first date. One of the topics he covers is how to go about getting a great first kiss. Hitch employs the 90/10 technique. If they've had a pleasant evening and Allegra is hesitating at the door before going inside after Albert has walked her home, then he should gently lean in for a kiss by going 90% of the way, allowing her to go the remaining 10% if she's interested. Luckily for Albert, the method works, and he and Allegra end the movie happily married.

A first kiss is very important. It sets the precedent for all kisses to follow, and can be a huge determining factor as to whether or not you'll want to see the person again. My very first kiss was in ninth grade to a guy whose name I can't remember because after that one instance I only referred to him in my head as Lizard Tongue.

Let that be lesson number one: easy on the freaking tongue. At the very beginning of a first kiss, try to refrain from shoving your tongue down her throat. All you need to start with is a gentle, relaxed mouth that is slightly open to let her know that you're interested in kissing with tongue further down the line if she's interested, too. Holding her hand to bring her in for a kiss is nice move, it suggests interest without being invasive.

Lesson number two: You will know within ½ a second whether or not she's into the kiss. If she meets your slightly open mouth with cold, pursed lips, or giggles and pats your arm in a "There, there, that's enough now" sort of way, it's best to retreat. You took a shot, you went for it, good for you, now back it up.

Lesson number three: A good kiss involves more than just the mouth. If she shows signs of satisfaction such as eagerly kissing you back, squeezing your hand, putting her arms around your neck, then you can proceed. Cradle the back of her head with your hand, or pull her closer to you by guiding her waist. Caress her face softly and subtly with your hands and fingertips. The kiss will progress naturally at this point; you'll be altering your moves to match her kissing style, and she'll be doing the same. Eventually, if the chemistry is right, you should end up with a comfortable kissing style all your own.

Lesson number four: When it's time for tongue (and be warned, there are some girls who don't enjoy deep, tongue kisses, it's just a personal preference) gently introduce it by circling the tip of your tongue around hers. If it feels right, then you can go a little bit deeper, swirling both your tongues together. Either way, you're not going for Dentist of the Year award here. There's no need to perform a tonsillectomy. Some people mistakenly think that deeper is better.

Lesson number five: Remember to swallow. For some reason, it seems that men produce more saliva than women. If you're in the midst of a kiss and you notice that you're drooling, something is very wrong. Swallow frequently to prevent excessive moisture. A kiss can be dry and still be sexy.

Finally, lesson number six: Don't forget the value of make-out sessions. A good, five minute kiss does not mean sex has to immediately follow, nor does it mean that it should. Relax and take things slow, enjoy each other's company and take the time to learn each other's bodies. Kissing can be an orgasmic experience in and of itself, and if you are eventually lucky enough to sleep with her, she'll appreciate the fact that you didn't rush into it.


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    • profile image

      tiya khanna 5 years ago

      great experience by you and reading all this

    • profile image

      Kaitlyn 6 years ago

      The comment about how to make your lips softer worked so well. My boyfriend can't stop kissing me and touching my lips.

    • profile image

      emma 6 years ago

      That so much helps me a lot.

    • profile image

      emzy 6 years ago

      hi me and my boyfriend are both 13 and weve been dating for a week and six days. he tried to make out with me but i pulled away cuz i didnt know what to do. i still dont understand do our toungs roll aroud each others or do they press against each others...or both???? my friend told me its both but that was her first time making out so i need a second opinion.

    • profile image

      Nicholas 6 years ago

      I want to have a girlfriend her name is Madison but she doesn't like me but I like her.

    • profile image

      Spanzy 6 years ago

      Wow I love your method. I know you will be perfect. My e-mail is ( I will like us to be friends so that you can teach me more.

    • profile image

      lezzy 6 years ago

      this really worked im lez and wen i tried this on mahh girl she loved it plus she not even a tongue person!

    • profile image

      gmmurgirl 6 years ago

      This is great advice really! And it helps also if both of you are hydrated enough to avoid chapped lips and sticky saliva feel, which are both sure kiss-breakers. But hey, I'm a big kissing fan, and a delightful and passionate kiss can be a wonderful activity or date-ender itself. lol

    • profile image

      graciela 6 years ago

      i love this guys but all he want to have fun with me and have fun with himm

    • profile image

      swooshem 6 years ago

      this helps!!!

    • profile image

      KAtty 7 years ago

      wow ur gay and must be desperate because my lil sis was on this website and it didnt help her at all ur stupuid

    • profile image

      BrowynWolf 7 years ago

      Hmm...What do you mean by "A first kiss is very important. It sets the precedent for all kisses to follow"? I just got my first kiss a few days ago when I was drunk on my 18th birthday party. I don't think I'm feeling as much passion as I'm supposed to now.

    • profile image

      Grace 7 years ago

      I love this boy but he dusint love me.

    • asheliz2 profile image

      asheliz2 8 years ago

      ...a tip for ppl to get soft lips which also helps with kissing...after brushing your teeth run the toothbrush under warm water then rub it gently across your will take off dead skin

      then put on aloe chapstick,baby oil,or patrolium jelly/vasiline

      trust me it makes your lips softer

      your lips will become irrisitably soft

    • profile image

      2good2Btru 8 years ago

      I swear i wrote this, or someone video taped me!

    • profile image

      Asslyn. 8 years ago

      yeah, i dont like rushing :/my ex was rushing it, i didnt like that...

    • profile image

      loverboy 8 years ago

      great tips i tried ur tounge techniques hard but not to hard with my gf and kissing may of led to somfin else AKA: SEx thanx

    • profile image

      chris 9 years ago

      Caressing the face shows a bunch of interest. It also shows that you are gentle and a caring person. Its a killer way to seal the deal if you want to be with the person long term. If its just a fling or a one night stand dont hold back.

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      superstar 9 years ago

      thnx reall good advice

    • profile image

      bixi 9 years ago

      I'am turkey live and works i want to marry.I am looking for girlfriend to get married my adress :

    • profile image

      lover boy 9 years ago

      THANKS for the edvice it helped alot

    • profile image

      Dr. Strangelove 10 years ago

      Outstanding advice. Well done! Would you mind posting your phone number? I could use some hands on instruction, so to speak.

    • gamergirl profile image

      Kiz 10 years ago from Antioch, TN

      Nice hub, have you seen mine on this topic? :)

    • Rudra profile image

      Rudra 10 years ago

      Nice. Will try it out.

    • ForTheLove profile image

      ForTheLove 10 years ago from Godforsaken, Iowa

      Niice.. Pretty straight forward! :) Are you making one for girls, too?

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      Cnl_Delta 10 years ago

      Good Stuff

    • compu-smart profile image

      Compu-Smart 10 years ago from London UK

      Im puckering up;)