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How to build a healthy relationship.

Updated on July 11, 2011

Dealing with misunderstandings

"Love is saying 'I feel differently' instead of "you're wrong" - anonymous.

Most of relationships are built on happiness and pure love. In the beginning people in love are just happy in love. Sometimes, they are not able to anticipate that love is not always dealing with happiness. Misunderstanding is everywhere. It's sad to know that there are people who just choose to end their relationships instead of fixing the matter. What are the reasons?

1. Pride.

Is it really something hard to surrender? Sometimes, we feel bad for ourselves when have to admit that the fault is ours. Men, mostly, feel like it's a decrease on their manliness. There are also women who more like to wait for their men to admit the fault. When both parties are strong on holding up their pride, then they both go to agreeing to end their relationship.

2. Emotion.

"Don't make decisions when you're mad"

I have been hearing those words for a long time now. Lovers quarrel is usual in a relationship. Yes, there are really times that it's going to drive you mad. I have experienced that, too. Don't ever make a decision when you are at this stage of emotion because you are 99.9% about to regret it after. Let your emotions be calm. Let the tension past. Don't let your emotions conquer your thought. When you are mad, you can not think of good and positive thoughts when you are mad. All is negative. You may think that you don't love him/her anymore because you're too mad at him/her. No. Very wrong. Love is there and always been there. It's just that hatred is over it. After the madness, evaluate your heart. What does it say? Love or not. Then you decide. Don't forget to pray for guidance upon making your decision.

3. Other people

You may be pressured by others. Don't ever listen. Listen to yourself. What makes you happy and what you believe is right. Other people may not want for you the person you've chosen to be with but who cares? You are the one who's in love and not them. Think by yourself. Don't let anyone ruin what you are building. 

4. Fairy tale

 I do believe in fairy tales. But the fairy tale I'm believing is the reality I am having now with my love one. What we have, for me, is a fairy tale. There is no perfect relationship, remember that. Don't expect too much on your love one.He/she may be your ideal one, but he/she is not perfect. Know that the person you are loving is just a human being like you and not a God or goddess. Know the limits. You cannot always get what you want. See and accept his/her imperfections.

Lovers Quarrel


Real Stories

My friend.

She had lots of relationships before but none of them succeeded. Now, she is in a relationship with someone younger. She's not seeing herself being with this person for her entire life. She is bothered. She wants to have a relationship which is matured and stabled. She had a serious relationship with my old friend. They had been together for a year but they still ended up broken. The other party fell out of love. We don't know the reason why. Since then, my friend finds it hard to build a relationship she wants. She's afraid that no one will ever going to love her. I told her that's not true. She insisted that we're getting older and she still could not find the right person.

I still believe that there will come a person who will love her with all his might; just like the man I have now. She just has to wait and pray. Maybe that man is also waiting and looking for her.

My Own

I have been dreaming of this man before. I had a relationship before him and we stayed together for 2 years. I thought I was happy but in my heart, it was empty. I believe we stayed for the sake of staying and not loving each other. We rarely talk serious matters. Our love did not go deep. Then I realized a life's logic:


I wasn't the one who ended up our relationship. He. I agreed. After months, this man I have now, who has been my friend since childhood, came to me not just as a friend but a lover. All the love in the world that I ever imagined, he gave and continuously giving. We are planning to get married maybe after a couple of years and we are preparing for it. I could not really afford to lose someone so precious as he. I love him so much and in the bottom of my heart and soul, I feel his love, unconditionally.

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.
I love you for that part of me you bring out.
- Roy Croft

Yes, problems are there all the time. We just keep in mind that our LOVE covers us both that no problem can ever tear us apart. 

You are my ground and you are my rainbow.
You are my butterfly and you are my ecstasy.
You are the start of my journeys and always my destination.
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When someone is asking me, "How do you know that you really love him?" I always answer "I don't know. I just can't imagine me, being with any other man, but him. No matter how mad I am at him, it's still him that I want to kiss, hug, cuddled, touch and hold at the end of the day. I'm empty without him."

Who, being loved, is poor?
- Oscar Wilde

And yes, I'm the most fortunate, richest and luckiest girl in the world for just having him. Just him.


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    • Mavhe Quijada profile image

      Mavhe Quijada 6 years ago from Taguig

      Thank you sakesare! God bless you, too. Hope this hub helps a lot!

    • profile image

      sakesare 6 years ago

      Awesome guideline regarding a healthy relationship. Off course a strong bond definitely needs mutual coordination and understanding. Thanks for sharing such great information. God bless you...:)