- Gender and Relationships
How to cope with a cheating husband
Cheating husband pays
Is there still a chance of working it out
You worked so hard to have a wonderful wedding and you succeeded beyond your wildest expectations. Now years later, because you have both been working hard to save for your home, have you neglected the love, sex, and romantic times together, you and your partner need?
Never be complacent in thinking with the ring on your finger, it will guarantee you a lifetime of wedded bliss. It takes much more than that.
Your husband is late home from work again. The chops are so crisp on the outside, that they look more like rocks. Annoyed you give up and feed it to your dog. He arrives home later, with a plausable sad tale. He apologizes for not ringing, he was busy trying to start the car and is drenched from the rain.
Do you feel sorry for him? No! This is the fifth time something has delayed him in the last month. He inquired about dinner and you tell him the dog enjoyed it.
That did not go down very well, but he needed to know you work too. After all, you are not his slave. More and more doubts are creeping into your mind.
While doing the washing a piece of paper drops onto the floor from his pocket. Feeling a little guilty you dial the number and a woman answers. Confront him; show him the piece of paper. Again, he has a plausible excuse. Now what do you do? Watch and wait. You need to find proof. Some men will lie and not admit to being unfaithful. Make sure you get the facts straight before you change the locks.
Forgive and forget
He may admit it, and promise never to do it again. He is after all the guilty party, so if he shows signs of remorse, give him a chance to prove that he wants to save the marriage. If you really love him, and are prepared to give him that chance, then, agree to live with him and trust him. By that, I mean forgive him and not hold it over his head every chance you have.
Do not second-guess everything he does by throwing it back at him, or he will leave anyway. Forgiving is not easy, no one said it would be. Marriage is a contract for life; in sickness and health until death do us part. Remind him that you both agreed to that, so you both need to try and work it out together.
No second chance
If your marriage cannot be reconciled, then make an effort to sit down and talk. Work things out amicably where possible. If you cannot then make sure, you find yourself a good lawyer. Remember they do not come cheap. So the more you can work out between yourselves the less they will charge.
If there are children involved, it will take a lot more work. Splitting the visitation times can be a nightmare. Do not involve them in this confrontation. Have these chats when they are at school or at a friend's place.
Never fight it out in front of them. It is not their fault, so do not make them feel guilty as though it is.
Suggest that you seek guidance by going to see a marriage counciler. They could advise you on ways to sort out some of the problems that neither of you are willing to admit too. Nothing is simply black and white, there are often grey areas not obvious to the couple themselves.
Be strong, patient and do not blame yourself. A marriage is a partnership, therefore it involves the two of you. Anyone can make a mistake, although, if it continues, do not tolerate it.