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How to deal with a hypochondriac spouse?

Updated on January 17, 2014

‘I'm a complete hypochondriac. If my heart starts beating a little faster than normal, I think I'm having an attack.’ –Antonio Banderas

When your anxiety about your health becomes abnormal, you are termed as a hypochondriac. It is a mental ailment when you feel your minor health problems to be a prelude to some deadly disease. You are always terrified about your health and you also make people around you nervous by bombarding them with questions regarding your health.

What if your spouse is a hypochondriac?

Throughout your married life your spouse tortures you about his\her health. He\she feels that he\she is always suffering from some health related problems which are mostly imaginary. Even if you pacify him\her that nothing was wrong with him\her, he\she is not convinced. You are baffled as to how you should deal with such a situation.

What does he\she exactly imagine about his\her health? When he\she has hand pain he\she imagines it to be a symptom of heart attack or a severe headache is felt as a symptom of brain tumor. This is just an example as your hypochondriac spouse always comes up with a new symptom of a new disease.

You are not bothered when he\she feels the worst about his\her health sometimes, but when it becomes a persistent habit; it starts to affect you negatively.

What are signs which show your spouse is a hypochondriac?

  • When he\she falls sick it has to be with a deadly disease.
  • He\she always wants to go to the doctor to confirm his\her fears, but does not trust the diagnosis of the doctor..
  • He\she feels that his\her physician is not specialized enough to deal with his illness and so keeps changing the doctor.
  • He\she always looks downcast and depressed even for mild illness and refusing to interact with you.

I have a relative who always thinks there is something wrong with her body. The way she reacts to minor body disorders would make it seem she is suffering from some major illness. The doctors also say that her problems are more mind- related than body related. Her poor husband has to take her from one doctor to another as she doubted the proficiency of the doctor she visited.

How to deal with a spouse who imagines all possible diseases to be affecting him\her? You should understand that your spouse does not do it on purpose, but really feels something is wrong with him\her. If you overlook it, your spouse feels that you do not care for him\her.

This is a very delicate topic which should be handled with proper perception by you. If you tow his\her line and become too receptive to whatever he\she feels wrong with him\her, you make your spouse sick person always and every time.

When your spouse complains about any physical disorder, take him\her to a doctor. When your spouse does not feel convinced even after the doctors give a clean chit about his\her body, you should convince him\her that the doctor who examined him is very proficient in his specialty and his diagnosis was never wrong and advice your spouse not to worry any more.

What if he\she still persists in having nagging worries even after the doctor confirms nothing was wrong with his\her body?

You should be firm in making your spouse aware that he\she was imagining a disease which did not exist and that if he\she still feels worried, a visit to a psychiatrist would be a better choice.

Do not be too caring when you know nothing is wrong with him\her as it makes him\dwell long and deep into his\her non existent disease. You should encourage him\her and say how energetic he\she was and a sick person cannot be so active.

It is no joke living with your spouse when he\she keeps cribbing about some disability or the other. It affects you in every sphere of your married life. Your life becomes boring and tedious as your spouse always has some complaints about his\her body.

You feel terrified when your spouse has a mild cold too as you know it leads to many more agonizing medical details your spouse goes into, jumping from one disease to the other. He\she yells at you citing you as the reason for his\her disability and you do not know how to cope with such a situation.

You could have a professional counseling in an effort to make your spouse aware of his\her mental hallucination. You should be firm and understanding so that your spouse comes out of an imaginary disease which causes such irritating agony in your family life.

© 2014 mathira

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