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How to deal with a person who constantly degrades you in front of others

Updated on July 7, 2008

It's not always what you say.

At some point in life everyone will come across someone who does nothing but put them down. Whether it's a family member, an acquaintance or a coworker. Unfortunately some people can't help themselves or are just plain mean. What do you do?

I think it all depends on your personality. If you're the kind of person who isn't very comfortable with confrontation take that person aside and tell them that you don't like the things they are saying and that it's inappropriate and hurtful. There is a chance, the person might think they are being funny if that is the case you can politely but firmly tell them that it's not funny and you don't like it.

Unfortunately not everyone will be open to hearing how you feel about what they are saying. The truth is that as I said above some people are just mean, others aren't really aware of the way their behavior effects other people and there are still others who just don't care.

The thing to ask yourself is how much this person and their issues mean to you? Yes I it might be embarrassing for someone to talk badly about you in public but is that person important enough to you to spend your time and energy worrying about? If speaking to the person directly doesn't fix the situation I suggest defusing it.

When this person says something rude about you in front of other people don't freak out, don't smile and try to laugh, don't do anything. It's difficult not to react or defend yourself but sometimes that's exactly what you need to do. If you feel like it, take it a step further and just walk away from the person and the conversation if you can.

As they say actions speak louder than words.

No matter what someone says about you in front of other people, what's more important and in some cases may make more of an impact is how you react. If you keep your cool and be the more mature party in the conversation that can say a heck of a lot more about you as a person than the person making the remarks.

If this is happening where you work consider going to a higher up or your human resources department to file a complaint. No one has the right to make your workplace hostile. If someone is causing you to have trouble doing your job, or is making you so uncomfortable you have difficulty at work then it's time to take a deep breath and say something.

Remember, it's not up to you to change another persons behavior. Chances are, you can't. What you can't do however is make sure that you are secure and happy with yourself. Don't let another persons aggression ruin your day. Let them know in whatever way you can that what they say isn't that important to you and they don't have that much power over you.

Good luck.


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      frank 2 years ago

      I agree, its very helpful, but they are my friends they dgrade me they help me in my every difficult situation.

      But i dnt knw what to do, Should i have to agree with them or not ?

    • rontlog profile image

      rontlog 5 years ago from England

      Life is too short to have people like this in your life.

      When the person is putting you down, I would interupt and say ....."Do you actually have anything good to say about me?"

      If they say no, say

      "Well that is the end of our relationship. I only allow positive and supportive people into my life. Good bye" And walk away from them forever.

      There are plenty of positive and supportive people out there to be friends with.

    • profile image

      iYAN-kun 6 years ago

      very helpful.. lets just accept this is happening and do our best to face it...

    • profile image

      David 6 years ago

      This is great, But I have tried the ignorance approach, and My cousin (The person in question) persistently takes pride in degrading me in front of my friends, and what I would call obvious bullying, he thinks its all a joke and all in fun. If i was to point it out he would laugh.

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      BrittanySmith 7 years ago

      WoW. I needed soO badly to see this post today. There is 1 person who constantly degrades me. Im glad u put this up!*Thanx