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How to deal with being stood up on a date: What to do when you get stood up by a guy or girl

Updated on September 28, 2013

Got stood up by a guy or a girl on a date? Feeling embarrassed, humiliated, insulted or sad? Learning how to deal with being stood up is all about realizing that some people are jerks and they always will be. From text messages to calling your best friends to holding back on what you post on Facebook - this post discusses how you can be calm, cool and mature while you handle being stood up on a date.

1) Send your date just one text message

Give your date at least fifteen minutes before you start getting fidgety. Once you think that it has been at least twenty minutes since the time that you both decided, send your date a text message. Don't rant, be calm and ask a simply question in your text. For example

  • Hi, where are you?
  • Held up somewhere?

Play the waiting game again once you have sent the message. Don't send any more than one message or else you will seem really desperate.

2) Last try: Call your date, but just once

If it has been half an hour into the date and you are still sitting there alone, a single phone call should be your last ditch effort to try to get in touch with the guy or girl.

It is likely that the phone will simply ring out and go to voice mail because if your date was genuinely getting delayed, he or she would have called you by now. When it goes into voicemail, don't leave a message.

The purpose of this call is just to give your date the last benefit of doubt. If your date has honestly misunderstood the time or place, your phone call should be a crude reminder.

3) Call your best friend over and enjoy the rest of the evening

Call your best friend over when you are certain that you have been. Make a good night of it by eating out at a nice place with your best friend after a few drinks.

Be sure that you call only your best friend. Calling up random people in an attempt to hide your sadness will invite mockery. People who don't understand your situation will make fun of you for being stood up.

4) Don't post your rant about being stood up on Facebook or Twitter

You may be giving your friends all the updates of your life on Facebook and Twitter, but being stood up is not something you want to rant about on social media.

Posting your rant online will invite comments from people you hardly know. If you are studying, the whole school or college will know about your failed date. If you are working, you will be the butt of jokes among all your colleagues the next day.

Hold your fingers back when you feel yourself twitching to tap out a rant on Twitter or Facebook from your iPhone. Talk your heart out with your best friend if you need someone to just listen to you and sympathize with you.

Hop over to Facebook and Twitter to send indirect jibes to the guy or girl who stood you up.
Hop over to Facebook and Twitter to send indirect jibes to the guy or girl who stood you up.

5) Send a subtle message to the person who stood you up on social media

You can still use Facebook and Twitter to your advantage if the person who stood you up is on your friend list. The trick is to post messages or send tweets that are a subtle jibe. Here are a few examples.

  • Thank god the evening didn't go as planned, otherwise it would have turned into a nightmare
  • Some people think that they can get away with anything, only until karma catches up to them

6) Look forward to randomly bumping into the guy or girl who stood you up

You will bump into the guy or girl who stood you up one day or another if you are in the same school, college or work in the same area. Look forward to this moment because this is your chance to show that person how it feels to be ignored and insulted.

If you find yourself in the same room or at the same place as the date who stood you up, ignore that person and don't try to start a conversation. Wait for him or her to walk up to you and only then, give that person a piece of your mind.

7) Send a text message to express your disgust

It is time to give your date a piece of your mind if a few days have gone by and you still haven’t received a single text or a call. Send a text message which rattles that person's conscience. Here are a few ideas.

  • I told all my friends about you and they all agree that you are the biggest jerk in town
  • You look like a tough guy but in reality you are just a wimp who doesn't have the courage to tell a man up and tell a girl the truth
  • All my friends warned me not to go out with you, too bad I didn't listen but I'll be sure to spread the word about you
  • I hope karma knocks on your door soon

It is unlikely that you will get a reply. But if you do, don't reply back. Let your words linger around in the guy or girl's mind for a long time.

8) Don't feel embarrassed and sad for yourself: Some people are just jerks

It is impossible to expect someone not to feel sad after being stood up. But that doesn't mean you should drown yourself in sorrow and self-hatred because of someone else's fault. Remember these things.

  • Even the most beautiful girls and the most handsome guys get stood up because some people are just jerks
  • Everyone gets stood up at some point in their lives or another
  • You don't become any less good looking just because you got stood up

Look at the bright side and thank your luck that your date didn't actually turn up. After all, it would have been a nightmare to go on a second date with him or her.

Got stood up? Stop worrying and keep walking along. Life is a beautiful journey and it is too precious to get frustrated because of the stupid behavior of one loser.
Got stood up? Stop worrying and keep walking along. Life is a beautiful journey and it is too precious to get frustrated because of the stupid behavior of one loser.

9) Carry on with your life like nothing happened

Being stood up on a date feels embarrassing. But if you let this make you feel sad all the time, you are letting yourself succumb to the mindless actions of a spineless loser. Instead, carry on with your own life as if nothing has happened.

Looking at how calmly you have moved on and forgotten the person who stood you up will be somewhat of an insult to him or her. After all, it will make that guy or girl wonder 'Was I so forgettable?'

10) Make that person regret: Channel the frustration of being stood up to succeed

Deep emotional frustration is likely to pin you down in the corner of your room if you have been stood up. But think of this as your chance to channel your frustration and use it as motivation to jump start your life at all fronts.

Join a gym, tone up your body, lose some of that weight, excel in your studies, deliver a smashing presentation at work, move on with your love life – do everything it takes to bring out the successful person within you.

If you ever happen to cross paths in the future with the person who stood you up, he or she will be stunned by the sheer attractiveness of the confidence and success oozing from your every step.

This will make him or her regret not dating you when there was a chance. And when you see that person looking at you with a jaw dropping gaze, give a cunning wink which subtly conveys 'Too bad, you loser'


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      You've listed some excellent tips here. Voted up!

      The main thing I would say is don't act like you were married and were betrayed. Most times when people get stood up it's by someone they barely know. No one should be so emotionally invested in a person they know so little about. One text or quick phone call to find out "Are we still on?" is plenty. Anything beyond that seems immature or scary!!!

      I can imagine someone reposting everything that was sent to them on Facebook making the person who was stood up appear to be a stalker or some kind of "fatal attraction".

      After an hour has passed let it go and move onto doing something else with someone else. It's not the end of the world! :-)