ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to dump your lover

Updated on August 14, 2011

Dumping your lover can be hard to do. After all, you loved this person and they loved you. There are bound to be hurt feelings and some resentment. In this article we will show you how to dump your lover in the most pain-free and quick manner possible.

Some points to keep in mind
If, at any point in the process you wonder whether you should do something, or not, ask yourself: "what would I want, if I where the one getting dumped?"

Dumping your lover is a bit like pulling off a plaster, it is best done in one quick sharp motion.

A dumping is a conversation not an announcement. Be ready to answer some uncomfortable questions.

Pretending that everything is ok, when it's not, is bad for everyone. Ending the relationship the right way, is the best thing, for both of you.

Don't let them find it out from someone else. Don't tell anyone before you do it.

Preparation for dumping your lover

Step 1: Getting your mind in the right place
In your mind, the relationship should already be over. Be prepared to go through with the dumping no matter what they say or do. You must deliver the dumping resolutely leaving no doubt in their mind that the relationship is completely and utterly over.

Step 2: Timing
There is never a good time to dump your lover. Timing wise, you should neither rush nor delay the event. I recommend deciding on a time in the next 7 days and then sticking to it.

Step 3: Location
You need to do this face to face. Dumping someone by email, voice message or with a letter is cowardly and should only be considered, if there really is no alternative.

Doing it publicly Generally I wouldn't recommend it. If however they are the type of person that will throw a tantrum in private, but not in public. Then it might be worth considering. Also if you are concerned that they might get physical, doing it in public might be a good idea.

Doing it at their place If you are able to dump them, at their place. That is a good option to consider. It means that if things aren't going well, you can get up and walk out. Also anything that gets broken isn't yours.

Step 4: Exit strategy
The more intertwined your lives are the harder it is to dump someone. It is essential to plan how you want every part of the breakup to go. For instance: if you are living together, who moves out? If things are really complicated you might even want to write it down before hand.

The breakup can be tiring; don't let it go on for too long. If it has been going on for 30 minutes, walk away. If there is more talking to be done, do it later.

Ending one relationship opens the door to new possibilities

Being friends afterwards

You can't go straight from lovers to friends, so don't bring this up during the breakup. I find it best to limit contact for 1-3 months after the relationship ended. Then consider whether you want your ex to be your friend. If so contact them and make it clear that you are only looking for a friendship, not to restart your romantic relationship.

I hope you have found How to dump your lover useful. If you have anything to ad or a story to share, please leave a comment.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      8 years ago

      what can i do~? i need to walk away from him, but he haven't done anything wrong to me

    • Hawkesdream profile image


      9 years ago from Cornwall

      When I dumped my first husband, he got the hint on Valentines Day - I didn't get him a card - and confirmation two days later with a solicitors letter detailing divorce proceedings.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Thanks for writing how to dump your lover. I have to aggree with you, doing it quickly is the way to go.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)