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How to get over a break up in a relationship?

Updated on January 31, 2014

‘When you breakup your whole identity is shattered. It’s like death.’ – Dennis Quaid

The toughest and most unpleasant incident in your life is the break up with the person you ardently loved. It is heartrending when you separate from each other and you buckle under the trauma of your dreams crumbling into shambles. It is a traumatic experience which you make you feel your life has lost all its happiness. You are shattered emotionally and psychologically.

Was it your fault that made the love you had for each other suffer a setback? Then you should try to make up and rebuild your love, but you should not in any way let go your self esteem. It takes two people to love each other, but one person is enough to break a relationship.

How do you realize that your relationship is going to end? There are always tell- tale signals when the breakup is imminent.

  • He\she refuses to attend your calls.
  • He\she behaves closely with some other person.
  • He\she finds excuses to avoid you
  • He\she is always tensed and angry when with you.
  • He\she insults you and passes unwarranted remarks about you.

When you are hundred percent sure that your relationship is over and done with, you should sever your ties with him\her as it is the only way to make your life regain normalcy again. When the embers of love between you have completely died your relationship has no chance.

Breakup invariably means loss of love and the care you have for each other. When love is lost there is no use thinking of a relationship which is destined to fail. What should you do when the person you loved breaks up with you? It is a challenge to your mental grit and determination. But there is always something new in life for everyone.

It is indeed very difficult to overcome a breakup very easily as you crumble inside in agony that this has happen to you. Your emotions are raw and vivid and your heart screams for consolation and comfort.

Do you know the first consolation should come from you? You should tell yourself to move ahead.

Take away thoughts about him\her from your memory and concentrate on your work. Work can make you forget your worries and misery. Do not turn yourself into a martyr and close your doors to people who really care for you. Your parents and friends can help you deal with the toughest period of your life and their consoling words can motivate you to feel good.

If you hide all your feelings within yourself your mind becomes stressed and oppressed with pessimistic thoughts that your life can never be normal again. This is one mistake you should never make. Why should you feel you have lost everything in life while the person who made you miserable is having all the fun?

When you happen to see the person you once loved along with his\her new love, you feel terrible. But this should not be your attitude. You should thank your stars that you have got away from an indecisive person whose fickle love had no real depth. Do not confront him\her as it shows you in a low light. Do not text him\her persistently trying to revive your break up.

Do not ask for a transfer from your work as this is not necessary. You might think that a new atmosphere can change your depressive mood. It definitely would make you comfortable when you see new people, but unless the change comes from within you, your recovery will not be complete.

Yet another blunder you should not commit is to fall into another relationship on the rebound. Such relationships are invariably short-lived and feeble. You should allow time to completely come out the relationship in all respects. You should feel no emotions when you think of the person who deserted you.

When thoughts about him\her evoke no depression in you, you are finally out of that relationship. Once bitten twice shy’ goes the old saying. This applies to every aspect of life and more so in relationship. You should tread very carefully before entering into another relationship and unless you know that the person you have chosen will love you to the end, you should stay away.

© 2014 mathira


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    • mathira profile image

      mathira 3 years ago from chennai

      Excellent perception, dashingscorpio. Thank you for the comments.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Excellent hub! Voted up and Awesome.

      The important thing for people to remember is it's not the end of the world! Just about everyone has been dumped or has initiated a breakup.

      When it comes to relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. If this were not the case the majority of us would be married to our high school sweethearts! Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.

      It's important to note that in order for him or her to have been "the one" they would have had to see you as being "the one".

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 3 years ago from chennai

      billy, I am happy you got through unscathed.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Yes, I have been there and done that and it is like a death. So very hard to recover from. Hopefully your article will help many to ease the pain.