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How to Get the Spark Back in Your Relationship

Updated on October 23, 2017

What happens once we settle into a relationship...

Once the initial novelty of a relationship wears off, we settle into a comfortable life with our partners and get on with things. The romance and spark and butterflies-in-the-stomach phase has passed. Although that's pretty normal, most of us don't get how important that spark is for a happier coupled-up life. Reconnecting with your partner offers physical, mental and spiritual happiness that's important for overall well-being. But most of us don't know how to do that. So let's take a look at some ways to bring the spark back in your relationship.

Take a trip

Couples trips are the best exclusive activity outside of home.
Couples trips are the best exclusive activity outside of home. | Source

Ask Them Out

Ask them out on a date for old time's sake. Plan it like it's the first. Make it special. And yes, talk about anything but your relationship! Get to know each other like you did at the start.

No phones for a while

This one hits a lot closer to home. Our phones are the biggest distraction there is. They make us self-absorbed and distant from our real world. This is especially a problem for couples who live together. There's no communication, connection, or even respect.

So how about putting your phones off and talking to each other. And no, not on silent or DND mode. I mean off. And lock them up in a cupboard in another room for added effect.

What's the worst that can happen if you do this? Nothing much; you'll just have a better relationship.

Ah, the Magic of Romantic Gestures

A romantic gesture has a lot of power.
A romantic gesture has a lot of power. | Source

Quality Time

Spend quality time together. Shut out the rest of the world. This includes your phones and the TV. You can even lock your door so that no one will ring the bell!

There are so many things that you can do together. Cook a meal, do the crossword, dance to something, just talk, take a walk, or make out!....the list can go on and on. You can even get some wine, set the table, cook or order in and have a date at home. Whatever interests both of you, just do it!

Be with each other. Be involved. Don't be thinking about something else and get distracted. This is your much important 'us' time.

Get Creative

Check out places to do fun things in your city. Whether you guys are adventurous or laidback, there's always something to do. Get out just by yourselves. Leave your kids with their grandparents and find sitters for your pets. No guilt! This is your time.

In Conclusion

Always keep communication strong. Don't hide things from your partner. Whatever you feel or think, share it with them. Working through issues together is what makes you a great team. That's how you grow as a couple and not just individuals. You learn to alter the compatibility accordingly.

So don't worry if you think the spark has left your relationship. You can always get it back.


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    • Bianca Avery profile image

      Priyanka Athavale 2 months ago from Pune

      Thank you!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 months ago

      It's easier to maintain a fire than it is to reignite a spark!

      Monogamy becomes boring when couples become lazy.

      The sad fact about the human condition is we treat "the new" better than the "tried and true".

      This goes for new cars, new jobs, and new relationships.

      In the beginning we do our best to impress and maintain. However once we feel "secure" we (relax) and begin to "slack off". Relationships are like gardens in that if they are neglected they will die. They require nurturing.

      People often say maintaining relationships is "hard work". However the reality is finding the (right mate) is the hard work! Once you have accomplished that the so called "work" is really a "labor of love". You do what you need to maintain it.

      A gardener gets up early in the morning to till the soil, plant seeds, add water, fertilizer, pull weeds, and build a fence to keep pests out. For some people this is "hard work" but for the gardener it's a "labor of love".

      She {wanted a garden} and all the "work" she is doing is doing is being responsible by nurturing and maintaining what (she) wanted.

      Sexual intimacy is what separates "romantic love" from platonic love. There is no such thing as neutral.

      We're either growing together or growing apart.

    • Deborah Minter profile image

      Deborah Minter 4 months ago from U.S, California

      Wonderful article!