ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to get your dream girlfriend

Updated on May 23, 2016


If you ever wondered why others are in a relationships and your not, think hard about why that is. Why does it seem that those who don't even try get girlfriends and others who try so hard end up being single. Hint, it has nothing to do with looks, money, or whether or not you have a job. Want to know the secret? It's all in the personality and attitude that you have towards others. That being said, i will guide you through breaking harmful habits and getting the girl you've always wanted.

Before we begin, it's important to realize that there exists several damaging deceptions that affect your perceptions on the dating world.

Deception#1 - "She's out of your league"

You always want to ask that special girl out but think "she's out of my league, no girl like that would ever like me..." I don't believe in leagues because it's a mental barrier that we create in our minds so that we limit our choices. You have the potential to get any kind of girl you want regardless of age, social status, appearance, and so forth if you just believe in yourself. Never let anyone tell you what you can't do and anyone who tells you otherwise is probably afraid of your potential success.

Deception#2 - "The right girl will make me happy"

No person holds the key to all of your problems and insecurities. Do you have a void in your life that you are trying to fill with relationships? If so then you will only find yourself even more empty by getting a girlfriend. A successful relationship happens when both parties are already joyful in themselves and share that with each other. By getting in a relationship when you find yourself incomplete, you will end up breaking up later down the line.

Deception#3: "More dating = More experience"

You can date as many people as you want but you will be greatly disappointed with every break up until you reach a breaking point. The saying "Old Habits die hard" is true especially in the dating world. By refusing to change toxic behaviors that you might have, you are essentially robbing yourself of a potentially successful relationship. The experience in getting better quality partners starts with you and your experiences with who you are.

Deception#4: "All the good girls are taken.."

You'd be surprised how many potentially great single girls there exist in your local area today. While it might seem like good girls don't exist, they are just waiting for people like you! All you have to do is know exactly where to look.

Deception#5: "Girls love bad boys"

This is a misconception that affects so many men in today's society and has been damaging men for the past centuries. Any girl with a sensible mind would not date a bad boy and if there is one who would, she won't stay with you for long. Many girls are looking for a guy with a good nature.

Are you confident in approaching a girl?

See results

Deception#6: "When you find romance, you find self-love"

The biggest lie in the dating world is by finding a romantic partner who loves you, you will finally love yourself. Love starts with you right here, right now! I By refusing to love yourself today, you will only give girls plenty of reasons why not to date you.

Step 1 - Approaching the girl

You want to practice good hygiene first and foremost. The next step is to put yourself out there for the world to see. Go to as many social meet ups as you can. No one not even girls will be able to date you if they cannot socialize with you. The next step is to casually approach a girl before you make any move. Simply introduce yourself with a simple "hello" and start a conversation. You'd be surprised how attractive that can be to a girl. If you try pick up lines or any other pick up techniques, girls will likely see through it and think your insincere. Do not be intimidating or nervous. Be calm, confident, and friendly most of all.

Step 2 - Observation and Conversation

Master the art of observation before you the master the art of conversation. Pay attention to the smallest details in the environment (the weather, the color of her hair, her shirt, etc.) and comment/compliment it. Get her to talk about herself (her interests, hobbies, and so forth) while you share details about yourself as well. Run out of ideas? Make more observations. The idea here is to break the ice and get comfortable with each other's presence.

Step 3 - Make her laugh

Humor is probably one of the most attractive things to girls so make her laugh. Make sure that your humor comes naturally. Don't act as if you rehearsed your lines as she will get the impression that your not funny. Everyone's humor is unique so take the time to find your own.

Step 4 - Befriend her

The best way to attain a long lasting relationship is to establish a friendship first and foremost. Asking her out before even knowing a single thing about her will most likely end up in a break up. If you don't know how to be a good friend to a girl, the chances of you being a great boyfriend are slim. Of course, you can ask her out as soon as you meet her and it might turn into a great relationship but it might not. By being her friend first, you avoid the risks without dealing with the heartache later on. However, don't wait too long as someone else might ask her out before you.

Step 5 - Show interest:

Most of our communication is through body language. Smiling, mirroring your posture, touching, hugs, etc. are all signs of interest. Pulling away is a sign that she dislikes you. However, never allow signals to be the dictator of getting a girl. Focus on the mechanism behind attracting someone and you will be successful.

Step 6 - Ask her out:

Don't stress it all or make it awkward. Pick the perfect moment to ask her out. Build up the anticipation and emotion in a special place before you finally reach a point where you feel comfortable expressing your feelings then ask her out in a creative manner. Brainstorm some ideas (writing a poem, a card, etc.) based on what you are good at. If she says "i don't know..." then do not take this as a sign of rejection. Simply give her time and freedom to think about it. Do not pressure her in any way to accept your request. When she sees you value her freedom of choice, she will be more likely to date you. Dating a girl is like going to a job interview except that instead of just selling yourself, you are mainly investing in her so treat it as such. Don't assume that because you had your first date that the girl will be your girlfriend. You must have patience in order for that to happen.


Don't be rude - Don't keep prying into her private life when she's already asked you to stop, don't violate boundaries, don't say mean-spirited comments, and so on.

Don't obsess over one girl - There are plenty of other options for you to choose from. Do not push all of your emotions and thoughts on one girl.

Don't be selfish - No matter what, nothing will be accomplished through selfishness. A working relationship is accomplished through selfless devotion.

Don't be a slob - Make sure you are clean and maintained consistently. Make sure you organize your home and other belongings.

Always take responsibility - Do not blame your girlfriend for your misfortunes and actions. Take responsibility for everything that you do good and bad.

Don't overcomplicate things - Never buy into pick-up artist techniques and people trying to sell you ideas for profits. Forget that the person you are dating is a female. Treat her as an individual rather than a trophy. Keep things simple and direct.


If you are successful after your first date and your date wants to spend more time with you, you can celebrate because you now have an official girlfriend. If she calls it off, don't get discouraged. Keep holding your head up high and your heart open to the next girl who may just one day be your future lover.

Was this article helpful?

See results


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • IsaiasPablo90 profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      I mean the women you see in magazines don't look that perfect without the make up lol. I agree with you on the rest for the most part. People need to hang with many women rather than restrict themselves to just one.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      5 years ago from Chicago

      "Want to know the secret? It's all in the personality and attitude that you have towards others. " Very true

      In addition I would also say "fear of rejection" along with the reality that there are always going to be some people considered out of your league.

      Lets face it super model Gigi Hadid is never going to end up with a guy who looks like hillbilly and is a truck driver.

      And yet millions of "average Joes" scan the pages of Sports Illustrated Swim Suit edition fantasizing about getting women who look like that.

      Confidence is also magnetic! Women love guys who are comfortable in their own skin and don't come off as being desperate.

      You can stick a woman in a room with five guys and have four them drop to knees extending their heart out towards her while the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping on a cocktail acting as if she does not exist.

      That's the guy she will want to get to know!

      He's a "challenge", a "mystery", and she has to prove to herself that she can get his attention and maybe (win) his heart.

      At the very least she has to find out why you're not behaving like the others!

      Maturity and experience also help increase your odds of having a girlfriend. In addition being (open) to dating a variety of types of women including races, culture, nationalities, local, and long distance...etc

      In fact the more "must haves" you put on your list the less options or opportunities you'll have.

      Practice makes perfect and "old can be gold".

      Sometimes women in your own age group are chasing after the "bad boy", the rich guy, or the guy who looks like "price charming". While an older woman may have already been married and divorced and isn't looking for the "fairytale". She just wants to have a great time enjoying her newfound freedom! Older women can be a great option for a guy in his 20s to gain some experience. Avoid traveling with a group of guys!

      (Being solo adds mystery and implies confidence & maturity)

      Last but not least it's always has been a "numbers game". Everyone gets rejected. Success comes with persistence. The more times you approach many women in a variety of different ways (classrooms,, Online dating sites, parties/gatherings, the gym, bars/nightclubs) your odds increase of getting a girlfriend. You have to buy a ticket to win the lottery!

      One man's opinion!:)


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)