- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
How to handle cheating people?
How do you feel when you are cheated?
- You wonder how people could cheat.
- You curse yourself for being too trusting
- You want the person who cheated you punished
A friend of my husband was in financial business and we invested a small amount of money in his business. ‘The money will double in five years and it would come handy for your daughter’s education’ he promised my husband. After five years we went and asked for the money, but the friends dodged and dangled till we got tired of asking.
How can a friend cheat you? Does he not have conscience? I asked myself in shocking disbelief. It was surprising to see a man of such materialistic affluence cheat us. That was bitter lesson I learned and to this date I invest all my money in banks, as though the interest may be low, at least the money is safe.
Different shades of cheating
Cheating comes in different shades and colors. You are cheated some way or the other in your life and it is very difficult to handle it. When you are naïve and very trusting it becomes easy for others to cheat you.
Cheating in marriage
The worst kind of cheating is when you are cheated by your spouse and you are emotionally charged with anger and bitterness. Loyalty in marriage is no longer a thing that could be taken for granted as the modern society takes the traditional values of fidelity between couples very lightly. When you marry, you want to care and love your spouse. But somewhere, something goes wrong and your relationship with your spouse becomes shaky.
When you come to know that your spouse is having an affair with someone, you feel a tear in your heart and your wound gets deeper and deeper. You feel that you have been betrayed and your disturbed emotions make you take hasty decisions. You should definitely ask your spouse about your doubts and do not soft pedal regarding your feelings about his\her straying.
Do you believe that the affair will never end and everything has gone out of control? Do you also think that your spouse will not relent? If you really feel that your spouse is deliberately playing on your emotions by cheating and deserting you, it is better to get a divorce. But divorce should be a last option.
Suppose your spouse asks for forgiveness and you sense that he\she really means it, I feel you can forgive him\her as all wounds fade as time passes. But today, everyone has become stubborn and they think that to co- exist and forgive a cheating husband\wife is not a viable alternative.
See, people make mistakes and usually cheating in marriage is almost always a physical urge and when the urge peters out, the wandering husband\wife comes back. It is difficult for you to take back your spouse after all the distressing days you spent and it is up to your individual decision on whether you want your spouse back or not.
Do not be too trusting
Many of you would have experienced cheating by friends, colleagues and relatives. If you are too trusting you are bound to be cheated. Do not discuss your money matters with anyone and when you invest your money, invest it in very trustworthy financial institutions. Do not be attracted by the high interest rates certain dubious financial institutions promise you.
When you are building a house, you should be careful in selecting the building contractor. It is always good to go in for labor contract and buy the materials needed for building the house by yourself. Have everything in writing so that you are not cheated. When you buy a land, you should be very careful in looking for all the details about the true ownership, encumbrance or whether there will be any future government take over of the land for some projects.
‘Cheating is easy. Try something more challenging like being faithful’- itsharlem
When you cheat, you lose your peace of mind. It is like inviting the demon with open arms. When you let yourself be cheated, it is like falling into a gutter with open eyes. Both are bad and you should have an armor of self defending mechanism within you to guard yourself against cheating and you will be better off if you have a third eye of detecting cheating friends, colleagues or even your spouse so that your life is not attacked by a devouring pest called cheating.
© 2012 mathira