- Gender and Relationships
Things to Do When You Don't Have a Girlfriend (For Guys)
Being Single is Okay
Perhaps all you friends are in a relationship. Perhaps they seem to be doubly as satisfied and fulfilled as you. Maybe their love life gives them a very special boost.
Don't worry. There is no hard and fast rule that only being in a relationship will make one successful in life. There are a whole lot of ways in which you can have a meaningful and satisfying single life. Let's try to figure out what they are.
Important! Remember You are Valuable
A very fundamental thing to keep in mind is that, whether you are single or in a relationship, your value as a person remains constant. You are endowed with a lot of unique character attributes that are not likely to change over a lifetime. Appreciate that!
Being Single Isn't Bad at All!
1. Have a Game Plan in Life
Be clear about the things you want to achieve in life. It's obvious that without a plan, you will go nowhere. Without a plan, you will keep floating about and looking at others, and feeling very sorry for yourself.
Decide on what your short, mid and long-term life goals are. While in a relationship, people are often inattentive to the reality around them, because they are fascinated by their partner, but you are at an advantage in this regard. Make use of it!
While it is important to have a game plan, remember to use it only as an indicator. Don't become a slave to it and manage every small aspect of your routine in accordance with it. This is a recipe for disaster!
Observe People and Become a Better Person
2. Observe the World around You
As a young single man in a constantly changing world, you are in an excellent position to observe the happenings around you in a non-judgmental way.
Life is full of lessons, and at this stage of life, you are well disposed to absorb them.
Let me provide an example. I travel by city train every day to work. The journey lasts me about 40 minutes each way. I make it a point to observe the other people in the compartment with me. This observation, I notice, is markedly improving the way I read people, a skill that will be priceless all my lifelong!
3. Help Others
The true sense of fulfillment comes from reaching out to someone in need. There are a lot of people in this world who require the help of a kind soul who is willing to help them through a tough time. There are also a lot of single men in the world.
Francis Bacon, in his essay 'On Single Life', observed that single men were in a better position than married men, to help others, because they were free from the responsibility of starting and maintaining a family. I find that thought very meaningful.
Make sure you help at least one person, even if only in a small way, every day. The helping tendency is a precious and increasingly rare attribute that your future wife is likely to appreciate.
Connect with people and make loads of contacts. Don't be afraid to take the initiative in this matter. More contacts means more influence. More influence means more clout. More clout means more chances that you can get things done your way!
Have a nice word or two to say to the people you meet, and hold back words of rebuke or correction for later, because there's always a tomorrow.
Go out and do fun things with the friends you make. Travel to far off locations and learn the local culture. Play with kids!
Spend Time With Others
5. Engage in Social Causes
Is there something in your society that absolutely puts you off? Raise your voice against it. You are single and strong!
Are you worried about the destruction of a forest in your region, or about increasing pollution, or about the homeless people in your city? Raise your voice.
Use the social media to let others know of pressing issues they might not even have been aware of. One voice can make a whole world of difference!
I make it a point to let my voice on a host of social issues be heard on social media sites like facebook, twitter and youtube. This encourages discussion of these issues, and ultimately, awareness is created.
6. Have Pets
Whether a dog, cat, bird or any other creature, a pet is great company. A pet helps relieve frustration and spreads cheer to its owner. I have 4 dogs and 6 Lovebirds at home, and they play a big role in keeping me humane. In case you're thinking that's too many pets to have, let me assure you that one is good enough!
7. Earn Loads of Money
More money equals more options. Use every opportunity you get to make money. Do a freelancing job if you must. Don't depend on one source of income. Don't keep all your eggs in one basket. As and when you enter a relationship, you will need to expend money.
It is totally unfair to expect to be supported by anyone. Be independent. Be ready to hit the ground running when you begin a relationship.
Of course, there can be loads of love without a single cent, but looking at things practically, how one handles money is capable of determining whether the relationship is going fine or heading for the rocks. A large number of divorces occur as a result of financial issues. A little foresight can save a future relationship.
Money Isn't Everything, but it is an Important Thing
Find the time to travel and explore your region and the world. Be always on the move. As you travel, you will open yourself to new experiences and opportunities to forge meaningful relationships. You will also develop a profound love for the wonderful natural world.
9. Work on Spirituality and Health
Whether you are religious or not, or even if you are atheist, ask questions about life and diligently seek answers to them. It's a question of finding meaning in life. Don't accept anything as an answer without being totally convinced by it.
Health is another area that must be focused on. The lack of good health will disturb all the plans you've made for yourself. Eat on time and sleep well each night. Make it a point to incorporate a workout into your daily routine.
10. Relax and do Nothing
Just lazing about in bed is a luxury that is available to single men more than to men in relationships. Use your single status to occupy the whole space available in bed! You won't be able to do it forever! Stretch your arms and make weird and piggish grunts. Stare into nothingness! You are single!
How does it feel to be a single male?
Tell me What you Think!
For most people, the single life is not permanent. However, the decisions one makes while being single have a big role to play in future relationships. This makes it even more important to take the single life seriously.
Writing this article has been a time consuming affair. I have done it, however, in the hope that it will add value to other young men like me. I look forward to reading your thoughts on what I have shared here. Let me know if you have any other strategies to help make the single life more fruitful.