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How to over come shyness

Updated on August 29, 2013

Don't be shy

You remember when you was in school and you laid eyes on that cute girl or guy and you said to yourself how much you like them. Some people are so shy that they would plan out their encounter with their crush (we all have done this before). You don't know what to say to them at all you just get tongue tied. Sometimes you might even do silly things just to get their attention and it doesn't work. There are two main reason I can think of why we get shy around our crushes. The first reason is that we think that we are not their type. The second reason would be that they don't find us attractive. There are little things that you can do to get over this shyness.


There are signs that a shy person will normally display without even realizing it. They become very tongue tied real easily. For example, things that they could normally say confidently to their friends they would have a hard time saying it to their crush. Another thing they do is they try to force a conversation (weird ones like your favorite brand of spoons). By forcing a conversation you may come off as weird depending on the conversation that you're trying to start. You also become twice as clumsy when they are watching you. Another sign and a very important thing you will need to overcome is eye contact; you may find yourself looking at everything in the room except your crush. You become easily embarrassed (you get that feeling when your body feels like it's on fire). Lets face it shy people become total and complete goofball in front of our crushes.

Signs of shyness

  • No eye contact
  • Clumsy
  • Tongue tied
  • Forcing conversation

Overcoming shyness

If you're like most shy people you have demonstrated at least 3 out of 4 of these signs to the right and it's time to overcome them.


Ah yes we all have tripped, stumbled and fell in front of our crush before. Sometimes this might happen, because they are watching you and you don't wanna look like a fool in front of them, so you try really hard not to mess up and BAM!, you either knocked something over or fell ( if you're lucky you did both). What can I say is that we get nervous, but understand your crush is just as human as you and I, so there really isn't nothing to be nervous about. To avoid this all I can tell you is to move with caution.

Eye contact

Your eyes reveal a lot about you, like your confidence and intentions; I know your crush can make you melt just by looking at you, but you don't have a crush on the floor do you? To maintain some type of eye contact try focusing one point on there face, like their forehead, teeth, or even the nose (it's a start).

Tongue tied

Being tongue tied is very embarrassing; it's like you forgot how to talk. They may ask you a question like, "Did you see where the manager went?" Lets say that you did see where the manager went, but instead of saying "Yes, he went to the front office" you might say, "yyyyes he ww...ent to the the front office". A lot us have been there, I have and I'm not ashamed to admit it. We get excited when our crushes are talking to us, which will lend to stuttering, so the best thing to do is to remain calm and respond. The most important tip is to know what your going to say when talking to them.


Forced conversation

We want more time with our crush so we try to force a conversation. Sometime we asked them short answer questions like, "What time do you get off work?", which will get us just that, a short answer followed by a long silent moment making things awkward. To get a good conversation going try using current events to spark up a conversation. For example, you could talk about the latest reality TV show (since there is always one on TV). You could simple ask them about their weekend. So as you can see avoiding this mistake is very easy.

Become one with the ideal you

A person who is shy usually doubt themselves in some type of way. They may think they aren't good enough. Basically you're selling yourself short; the only way to deal with this demon head on is to become comfortable with yourself. For example, if you think you're too skinny, you might want to pick up a some weight. The point here is to become comfortable this the ideal you. This way you'll become more confident and all those bad thoughts in your head will be gone (making rejection easy to deal with).


If you use these methods over the course of time you will become comfortable with your crush and be able to open up. You will learn how to talk to them as well move gracefully around them and be able to look them in the eye. You'll also realize the most important thing about your crush,which is that they are not different than you or me.


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    • soconfident profile image

      Derrick Bennett 4 years ago

      That help a lot and you'll become more comfortable around them. Thanks for commenting.

    • light20 profile image

      Lanao G 4 years ago from Ozamiz City, Philippines

      I thought I was shy, i feel uncomfortable having a conversation with people, even with my siblings...especially with my crush... I hardly make an eye contact with people...but whenever i get involved with things that interests me, i just go like so hyped-up...and very confident...i guess im an introvert.

      so, whenever i get to talk with my crush I start talking about things that interest me...It helps me boost my confidence somehow...