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- Happy Marriages
How to overcome boredom in marriage? Lean towards each other!
‘Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose’ – Beverley Nichols
Hangover is one of my favorite movies and I have seen it many times. I laughed aloud when I saw it the first time, but my laughter petered out into a feeble smile as I watched the movie again and again. Why did I feel so? I had seen the movie so many times that I knew it scene by scene, dialogue by dialogue. I was getting used to the movie and there was nothing new in it for me.
When you do the same thing over and over again you feel bored and used to it. Sadly marriage has become a boring existence for many of you. Why do you lose interest in your married life so soon?
The initial days of your marriage are heavenly and exciting. Your physical proximity thrills you and you seem to have so much to talk about. But as months go by, you get used to your spouse and in fact you find many aspects of your spouse irritating and exasperating.
You allow you marriage to slide into boredom and the mundane
‘It is not that I do not love him\her. The simple truth is that I did not know marriage was full of responsibilities and commitments. I am always stressed and tensed and whenever we talk sparks of anger make the situation heated up. So we just talk whenever necessary, but we discuss important family issues together.’ A common occurrence in many families.
You are very right when you say that marriage is all about responsibilities and you have to maintain a good standard of living. But this does not mean the fun and mirth in your marriage is lost forever. In fact you should concentrate on making your marriage pleasurable to make a light weather of your stress and tension.
How do I overcome boredom in my married life?
- Never lose your humor
- Never out grow your spouse
- Be indulgent and loving
- Share hobbies
- Share your emotions
- Plan some outing with just you and your spouse
- Small talk
Humor never loses its sheen
Laughter is the wonder magic to many of your woes in married life.
Are you tired from a day of hectic work schedule?
Is your spouse also fatigued and exhausted?
Do you feel your nerves creeping in tension?
Is this the scenario in your family?
It is distressing that you do not make efforts to overcome strain, but thrust your tension on your spouse and make your married life a torture.
You do not have control over what happens in the outside world and it is quiet natural to feel temperamental about it. But you are in total control of what happens in your home and so you should come out of tension and enjoy quality time with your family.
Watch some comedy shows and share laughter. Share some office jokes and laugh together. Work related tension should never torment you when you are home.
Don’t ever outgrow your spouse
You should not think your spouse as someone who is in your home to look after you and your children. He\she should excite you as he\she did before marriage. Small and attractive mannerisms of your spouse should be noticed and admired by you.
You should appreciate and glorify your spouse. You do not outgrow your children, do you? It is because you feel that they belong to you. Your spouse also belongs to you, doesn’t she\he? Why then do you consider your spouse as an outsider and thrust all your tension and stress on him\her?
Be indulgent and loving
Do you demonstrate your love openly so that your spouse feels it? Small physical gestures does the magic of keeping your marriage interesting and thriving. A pat in the cheeks, arms around the shoulders, looking into the eyes with deep love enlivens your marriage as nothing else. Sex is important, but it is gentle gestures which speak volumes of your love.
Share some hobbies
Your hobbies might be anything. It can be gardening, coin\stamp collection, and pets or trekking, just anything will do fine. When you have common hobbies you always have something to talk about. When you talk about something other than family issues it becomes an exciting topic with you.
Share your emotions
Do not hide your problems from your spouse and make him\her a stranger. You should confess your inner most emotions with your spouse and your spouse also should reciprocate in a manner that you feel you have done the right thing is sharing your problems with him\her.
Plan an outing
Plan a date at least once a month. You should decide the place and date before hand. You can leave your children with your parents. Believe me, it will be exciting and thrilling to spend some quality time together and relive the magic of your love filled days.
Do you always talk about family issues with your spouse? It will be boring and dull if you do so. There are so many topics to talk about which instigates light conversation without slipping into arguments and fights. Sports, film stars, fashion, politics, movies or even home decoration leads to interesting conversation between you and your spouse.
‘When marrying, ask yourself this question. Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.’-Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
It is up to you to keep your marriage interesting as no else can do it. You should not deviate from your spouse, but lean towards her\him to make your married life overcome boredom.
© 2013 mathira