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How to Properly "Pop the Question"

Updated on January 25, 2019

How best to tell her She's the ONE

Life is funny sometimes, isn't it? Man always has a way of turning everything into fun and making even the hardest of times bearable. I believe it is common knowledge that when it comes to the issue of asking a lady for her hand in marriage, men get scared witless.

I remember when I wanted to "pop the question" I spent a whole week trying out different words and phrases and imagining her face while doing so. I imagined the worst but surprisingly, I got the prize. I have also seen some men deflated, humiliated and snubbed and I asked why. I came to realise that there just are certain ways some men pop the question that put the ladies off (sometimes permanently). So how best do I pop the question? Here goes!

Have three things at the back of your mind if you want to pop the question to the lady in question:

(a) Women are romantic and one has to have (even a little) sense of romance and put that into the mix. Virtually EVERY single woman has an imagination and they let it run riot in the issue that concerns love and romance.

(b) Women love a man who has a sense of purpose and knows where he is going. They do not love a man who has no sense of direction - they may like him or pity him but they do not love him.

(c) Women are naturally curious and would love a sense of mystery and power and (of course) sacrifice. They would want to know that you went to great lengths to woo them.

Having said that, let me say that people outside the continent of Africa or even outside Nigeria have learnt to do this without sweat but the perception of the average home-grown Nigerian about popping the questions seems to be myopic and stereotyped. While in Secondary School, we heard testimonies of Christians who got married and almost all of them said they told their wives that God revealed them to them. This made some of us to think that without trying to sound spiritual, the ladies would not be impressed.

How wrong we were!

I recently organized a Valentine's Day talk show to interview married couples of various years in Marriage and I was amazed to discover that some ladies were confused because they met 20 people who proposed to them and all 20 told them that God said they were their wives. That is ridiculous and wicked.

How, then, can one pop the question?

1. Take her out without giving her a hint of what you want to tell her. Take her to her favourite places (if you have been friends a-while) and while you both are enjoying the discussion, distract her attention and drop the ring (in its case) in front of her.

2. Go ahead to a restaurant and make arrangements with the chef and waiters on where to keep the ring, then hire a band to play her favourite tunes, then ask your most trusted friends to send her a text  at a pre-arranged time. Then, while she is eating and comes across the ring in her dish (well wrapped for safety's sake), you pick it up, go on one knee before her and ask her to marry you while the band sings in the background and your friends' texts start pouring into her phone. It's an experience that will overwhelm her.

3. Arrange a surprise birthday party for her and invite her to the venue. Immediately after she cuts the birthday cake, kneel and pop the question.

Why MUST you kneel? Because they deserve it. A man handles a relationship with his head (which is why they are hardly perturbed when the relationship fails) while a woman handles a relationship with her heart. They deserve to be loved because they were created to be loved.

Please (and please) do not try to intimidate her with your seeming spirituality. God is important but do not use Him as an excuse to get yourself a wife when you know in truth that your heart desires the woman as a wife.


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