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How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship After Cheating?

Updated on December 16, 2019

When someone cheats on you, you begin to question your self-worth, your self-esteem suffers, and you might even become very critical of people to the extent of being paranoid. Although moving past a cheating episode is no piece of cake, some couples decide to stay together after going through this phase and give their relationship another try. With a few adjustments and understanding, it’s possible to rebuilt trust even if the original damage seems beyond repair. However, whether there will be reconciliation over moving on with infidelity in the relationship, the cheating partner has to take measures to prove their loyalty.

As stated earlier, the biggest loss that occurs is the loss of trust. Moving on majorly entails rebuilding the trust level you had before getting caught cheating.

Here are some of the ways you can rebuild trust in your relationship:

1. Share the Responsibilities:

Yes, one of the partners cheated. And the other is angry and in pain. But if you both have decided to make the relationship work, you both have to share the burden. Together, you both can ace this rough patch. Sharing is easier rather than letting one person bear it all.

Share everything from accepting mistakes, establishing new rules. You are in this together – so work on it.

2. Apologize

See that you apologize. And that, too, in the right way. Not on text message or call. You have to do it in person. It could take place at your place or theirs. Do not go out in public. If they have a meltdown, it will get embarrassing for both of you. Choose a place where you both can talk comfortably.

After telling them everything, allow them some room to process everything. You would have talked before, and that is how you decided to give your relationship another shot. But this has to be a heartfelt apology. As it is going to set the path of what you both have to do next. It would need time. Give your partner whatever they need at the moment. Even if they want to install Xnspy, an app to snoop on your partner.

But more about it later.

3. Be Patient

You would have to be patient. Trust is a fragile thing. You cannot break it and expect it to go back to its former self in a day. You would have to give your partner the time and also the room to vent out their pain and anger. They would yell, cry, and ask you a lot of questions. Time and again. You have to remain patient while staying faithful and showing them that you are truly ashamed of what you did.

See that you take full responsibility for your actions and decisions. This includes what you did before and what you plan to do in the future for your relationship. Make sure that if you make promises now, you would have to keep them. At any cost. Your words and actions should come from the heart. There should be no lies and no excuses.

4. Show them that you will change

Once you know what your partner needs, do what you can to change the situation for the better. Show them that you have changed. Make them believe that you are going to do everything in your power and ensure complete transparency. You would have to show them that you have no contact with the person you cheated on your partner with. And they have a right to check your phone, too. Even if your relationship did not have any such things before, it does now.

To make your partner believe and to regain that trust, you don’t have to give them open access to your phone. Instead, you can give them remote access to your device through an app like Xnspy. This way, your partner could see who you call or text messages while not being intrusive or annoying.

Remember that cheating on your partner is a grievous mistake, and while you might think it’s too much for you to give them access to your privacy, it’s not! But don’t forget, it’s completely normal for your partner to feel cheated on but this shouldn’t give them the chance to take the upper hand in a relationship and use your one mistake over and over again to get something they want. The entire purpose of an intervention of this level is to rebuild trust but not to give yourself away.

5. Find the root cause of your infidelity

Take a long hard look at your action of cheating. Are you sure that it won't happen again? Cheating calls for deep internal dialogue. Ask yourself why you cheated on your partner in the first place. While you are giving them room to think this decision through, figure out the reason why.

Are you a habitual cheater? Do you do this frequently when you are dating someone? Do you have commitment issues? Did something happen in your past that made you this way? If it is more like a habit, you need professional help. If this happened for the first time, you can make this better.

If you truly want to give your relationship another try and make it stronger than ever, you need to come clean about everything. Mistakes happen. People mess up. But they can even move past them if they have the drive to win their partner back.

Final Thoughts

It is important to know that cheating doesn’t have to result in breakup or divorce. You could build a happier, healthier, and more honest relationship. It takes two committed people to make a relationship work. If you both are determined to get through this, no matter how shaky it gets, you will.

Take it slow. One day at a time, then one week. And gradually, keep moving forward. Follow the tips above, and you both would grow closer, solid, and strong. The key is not to do many things but to do enough that will help regain that lost trust.


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