ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship After Cheating?

Updated on December 16, 2019

When someone cheats on you, you begin to question your self-worth, your self-esteem suffers, and you might even become very critical of people to the extent of being paranoid. Although moving past a cheating episode is no piece of cake, some couples decide to stay together after going through this phase and give their relationship another try. With a few adjustments and understanding, it’s possible to rebuilt trust even if the original damage seems beyond repair. However, whether there will be reconciliation over moving on with infidelity in the relationship, the cheating partner has to take measures to prove their loyalty.

As stated earlier, the biggest loss that occurs is the loss of trust. Moving on majorly entails rebuilding the trust level you had before getting caught cheating.

Here are some of the ways you can rebuild trust in your relationship:

1. Share the Responsibilities:

Yes, one of the partners cheated. And the other is angry and in pain. But if you both have decided to make the relationship work, you both have to share the burden. Together, you both can ace this rough patch. Sharing is easier rather than letting one person bear it all.

Share everything from accepting mistakes, establishing new rules. You are in this together – so work on it.

2. Apologize

See that you apologize. And that, too, in the right way. Not on text message or call. You have to do it in person. It could take place at your place or theirs. Do not go out in public. If they have a meltdown, it will get embarrassing for both of you. Choose a place where you both can talk comfortably.

After telling them everything, allow them some room to process everything. You would have talked before, and that is how you decided to give your relationship another shot. But this has to be a heartfelt apology. As it is going to set the path of what you both have to do next. It would need time. Give your partner whatever they need at the moment. Even if they want to install Xnspy, an app to snoop on your partner.

But more about it later.

3. Be Patient

You would have to be patient. Trust is a fragile thing. You cannot break it and expect it to go back to its former self in a day. You would have to give your partner the time and also the room to vent out their pain and anger. They would yell, cry, and ask you a lot of questions. Time and again. You have to remain patient while staying faithful and showing them that you are truly ashamed of what you did.

See that you take full responsibility for your actions and decisions. This includes what you did before and what you plan to do in the future for your relationship. Make sure that if you make promises now, you would have to keep them. At any cost. Your words and actions should come from the heart. There should be no lies and no excuses.

4. Show them that you will change

Once you know what your partner needs, do what you can to change the situation for the better. Show them that you have changed. Make them believe that you are going to do everything in your power and ensure complete transparency. You would have to show them that you have no contact with the person you cheated on your partner with. And they have a right to check your phone, too. Even if your relationship did not have any such things before, it does now.

To make your partner believe and to regain that trust, you don’t have to give them open access to your phone. Instead, you can give them remote access to your device through an app like Xnspy. This way, your partner could see who you call or text messages while not being intrusive or annoying.

Remember that cheating on your partner is a grievous mistake, and while you might think it’s too much for you to give them access to your privacy, it’s not! But don’t forget, it’s completely normal for your partner to feel cheated on but this shouldn’t give them the chance to take the upper hand in a relationship and use your one mistake over and over again to get something they want. The entire purpose of an intervention of this level is to rebuild trust but not to give yourself away.

5. Find the root cause of your infidelity

Take a long hard look at your action of cheating. Are you sure that it won't happen again? Cheating calls for deep internal dialogue. Ask yourself why you cheated on your partner in the first place. While you are giving them room to think this decision through, figure out the reason why.

Are you a habitual cheater? Do you do this frequently when you are dating someone? Do you have commitment issues? Did something happen in your past that made you this way? If it is more like a habit, you need professional help. If this happened for the first time, you can make this better.

If you truly want to give your relationship another try and make it stronger than ever, you need to come clean about everything. Mistakes happen. People mess up. But they can even move past them if they have the drive to win their partner back.

Final Thoughts

It is important to know that cheating doesn’t have to result in breakup or divorce. You could build a happier, healthier, and more honest relationship. It takes two committed people to make a relationship work. If you both are determined to get through this, no matter how shaky it gets, you will.

Take it slow. One day at a time, then one week. And gradually, keep moving forward. Follow the tips above, and you both would grow closer, solid, and strong. The key is not to do many things but to do enough that will help regain that lost trust.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 months ago from Chicago

      As controversial as this may sound if you weren't caught cheating and have no plans to ever do so again then don't bother telling your mate. Continue to make it up to them by being the best friend, lover, and partner possible going forward. Ignorance is bliss. Your punishment may be learning to live with the guilt.

      On the other hand if you were betrayed it's always a good idea to (take a break) to figure out whether or not IF you CAN forgive.

      Sometimes people offer "instant forgiveness" because they're still in shock. Dealing with being cheated on is bad enough without having to contend with ending a relationship or filing for a divorce.

      However several weeks or months later they may come to realize they simply cannot stop thinking about the lies and secrets their mate put them through. Taking a break can give one some clarity.

      For some people cheating is an absolute "deal breaker".

      "While we are free to choose our actions we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions." - Stephen R. Covey

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)