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How to survive with Resting Bitch Face Syndrome (RBF)

Updated on August 29, 2015

The Daily Struggle

  • “Are you ok?”
  • "Are you on your period or something?
  • “Do you need to talk?”
  • “I thought you hated me”
  • “Are you mad at me?”
  • “Who died?”
  • "Turn that frown upside-down"
  • “Wow you're actually really nice”
  • “What happened?”
  • “Smile!"

These are the most common questions and statements people with Resting Bitch Face Syndrome (RBF) have to deal with on a daily basis. It’s not an easy life we live, in fact it’s a constant struggle. We people deserve some compassion

If you or a loved one is suffering from RBF, don’t worry i’m here to help. I know, I know I’m a savior, an angel sent from above to help you.

For those of you lucky enough not to suffer from this terrible disease (god damn you and your perfectly balanced emotional face) I’ll give you a quick diagnosis of what I’m talking about.
People who have RBF are people who look extraordinarily mean when their face is expressionless, without intending to. Basically, my default face looks like I want to stick a rusty spork in peoples eyes, skin them and then light them on fire in front of their families.

Usually conversations about people like us go a little something like this:

“Hey is that chick a bitch? She always looks so god-damn angry.”
“Nah, she's just got Resting Bitch Face, she’s actually really nice”

Why it sucks

Despite the recent PSA’s about and the increased public awareness of RBF it is still a very tough world for women to get away with.

  1. Waiters hate you because they automatically assume that your a horrible person who doesn't leave tips. This will most likely lead to them spitting in your soup.
  2. Random people are constantly trying to cheer you up and look on the bright-side.
  3. It’s difficult to make friends or strike random conversations with people, because most fear you like a plague. Lets just say we RBF people are never a hit at a party.
  4. People are constantly surprised once they actually get to meet you.
  5. The concept of smiling is bizarre. Taking a picture and forcing a smile becomes a restless chore of flexing a very uncomfortable and unfamiliar muscle and so our pictures always come out looking deranged.

RBF theme song

Why it rocks

Cheer up lassie, there are also many benefits to having RBF.

  1. People are terrified of you, specifically children. No one will ever hassle you to babysit their children because the mere sight of you makes them cry in utter terror.
  2. No one will ever hit on you. Like seriously, I will go to a bar or club and get zero action. Some people say its because I don’t dress well enough or that I have an unpleasant personality but that's definitely not it, its my RBF. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong (trust me I’m an expert).
  3. Haggling with people is a breeze because people believe you are firm and actually know what your doing. That's right, next time you want to buy a sweat-shop-made toy from the side of the street for 3$ instead of 10$, one look at your face and they know you mean business.
  4. Having a bitchy allure can be kind of fun so just own that overaggressive angry mug your mama gave you.

Talk (dirty) to me

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