- Gender and Relationships
How to turn her on
Turning her on with a few easy tips
Let's get straight to the point because all women know that men have a very short attention span and you need the answers quickly!
When you first meet the woman that you find attractive, you fight to take her out to the best place that you can think of, you buy her flowers, send her sexy messages and look deep into her eyes, pretending to listen to her every word and you even look interested. That makes her leave the date, thinking that she has met a fabulous guy and she will go home and "think" about you and the date, your hot smile and the way that you looked at her.
The smell of your cologne, the hair, the clothes and the smooth talk will get her going but that doesn't last long if you don't have the "it" factor and should you wear one wrong thing and have one hair out of place, she will turn off as quickly as she was turned on.....just kidding!
For women, it is simple. To be turned on you need a hot body, great hair and you have got to take care of yourself hygienically. If you don't bath or shower and use soap of any kind, then you can stop wasting your time!
Hygiene is very important and you don't have to be wearing the most expensive cologne but you do need to look and smell fresh.
Some women like the rugged look but you still need to be CLEAN.
Clean nails, clean hair and a clean smelling body makes a big difference to a woman.
Smoking is okay as long as you don't have a smokers breath and if you drink then take it easy because there is nothing worse than sweating in the smell of a shebeen.
Let's go through all the steps one by one so that you can get her hot from the very beginning!
First date do's and don'ts
If she has agreed to go on a date with you then there is something about you that she likes!
Taking her out and getting to know her is a great move because it shows that you are interested. Avoid taking her to a bar or to a nightclub on a first date because that will be your last.
Don't forget that if she likes you she would've spent hours getting ready and that means that she expects you to notice her and compliment her on the way she looks.
Women, although independent, like a man to be a gentleman, so meeting her at the door or opening the car, letting her go first and pulling out her chair is a bonus point in your favour.
Never order for her because she can make up her own mind, don't be indecisive because that makes you look weak and don't try to get her drunk!! She knows that trick and won't fall for it.
Once you have her at the restaurant and you are clever enough to have taken her somewhere romantic but not too romantic (you don't want to make her run) then showing interest in her is a must do. Listening to her every word and paying attention is a plus because if you date then she will expect you to remember what she has already told you. We don't like to repeat ourselves!
You also need to bear in mind that if you are taking her to a romantic and expensive place, she is reading into your personality and expects this from you often, therefore, if you cannot afford an expensive place then be yourself man!! As long as you are interested, real and have manners, she will not mind.
Do not spend any time on your phone and do not glance at another woman because unless you make her your number one priority, she will never take your call again.
Never expect her to go back to your place afterwards and do not ask her if you can come over for coffee. Unless she asks you!
The first date has to be about getting to know each other and when you say your goodbyes you can give her a hug or let her know that you do not know what to do, in order for her to give you a sing of what would be comfortable. If she likes you she will give you a hug or a kiss on the cheek. Should she be easy then you would've probably been satisfied in the bathroom toilet at the restaurant.
After the first date
After a couple of dates she is either into you or is she is not. Some women do not want to get into a physical relationship with a guy until she is absolutely sure that you are not playing her.
Most women will get intimate from the second or third date....if you turn her on.
This means that you have got to have a hot body, smell delicious and know exactly how to romance a woman and she has to feel a connection with you from the very beginning.
It is mostly a connection unless you are rich, drive a fancy car and have a wallet that is loaded with cash, whilst on a date in the most expensive place, wearing a Rolex....in that case she will pull you into the car, suggest a hotel or take you to the toilet. (Don't expect love from this girl and hide your wallet later.)
Shallow women love money, cars and bling, that is a turn on and you can be the ugliest and cruelest looking guy on the block.
There are a few things that are an instant turn off for a woman.
Hygiene - if you are not clean she is not interested and soap is a must in your everyday routine.
Have the respect enough to shower or clean up after you have been to the toilet because no girl wants to dive into a sewer!
A clean environment is also a plus and if you have take away boxes or clothing lying all over your apartment, it could be difficult for her to assume there is no staining on your sheets!
Unless she is extremely drunk, your toilet needs to be clean to, because if that is dirty then she will feel violated which could turn her off completely.
Once you are in the bedroom, rushing in is a complete turn off unless she is a lady of the night or a one night stand.... then she doesn't even care who you are and will be out in the next ten minutes.
If it is a girl that you want a future with, you need to take your time and make her feel safe, sexy and you have to SEDUCE her.
Romance (not fake and cheesy) foreplay and a gentle but strong approach is a great turn on.
Avoid smelling like alcohol, being drunk and slobbering all over her because that is a one way ticket out of there!
Women want a guy that is in control, makes them feel safe, sexy and takes their time to get to know each part of their partners body. It doesn't matter if you are a pro at going down if you can't make her feel good before you get to the bedroom.
A woman also doesn't like a guy to be smothering and ask if everything is okay every five seconds. Be sure of yourself but not too sure and be confident but not egotistical.
Loving, gentle and yet seductive and sexy with a romantic and comfortable flair is exactly what a woman needs to be turned on.
Once you have gotten to know each part of each other's body and you have done the deed that might keep her interested, you then need to hold her and make her feel protected afterwards. Not just for a five minute "I better cuddle" thing but a genuine and emotionally comfortable hold. This will make her feel safe, protected and loved. If you want her to feel cheap and used, then you can avoid the loving, rub her shoulder and say goodnight. In that case you may as well pay her for services rendered and send her packing!
How do you turn her on?
Long term turn on
If you tried very hard to get this girl to go out with you and she seems interested then you are probably still dating....unless you lie, cheat or are shallow.
Once you have been dating for a while there is no need to turn her on because you still listen to her, would do anything for her, spoil her and look into her eyes with love. She can also tell how you feel from the kiss and the affection that you give. So if she is still with you then you are doing something right!
Once the "honeymoon" is over that means that you have been together for a while, you have stopped looking at her the way that you used to, you pretend to listen by nodding your head and avoiding eye contact and the flowers, dates and compliments have been replaced by orders, taking her for granted and a guy that drinks beer, unwashed in front of the television, expecting his food to be brought to him and his washing to be folded and packed into his cupboard.
Cleaning up after a grown man is not a turn on for any woman and that needs a lot of work if you want her to feel remotely sexy.
Romance is a part of turning a woman on and you need it to connect every now and again.
If you spend all your time with mates, on the phone or connecting with your past on social networks, then turning her on is going to be difficult because you are showing her no interest and you would rather spend your time with the past and buddies rather than with her, then you are in for a bumpy ride because she will either let you get on with it, while quietly enjoying her alone time or she will be packing a bag and walking out of your life before you blink and wonder what happened.....either way there is no turn on here, not by you anyway.
How to turn your wife on
Naturally after a long term relationship, kids, bills, mortgage and a couple of pounds, it is difficult to get turned on by the same woman that you have been with for the past few years and believe me she feels the same, if not more turned off then you. How can she feel sexy if she has just cleaned the bathroom ,done the laundry, washed the clothes, iroend them, packed them away and done the cooking?
You get home from work and ask her what the dinner menu is, did she pay the bills and then slouch down onto your favourite couch whilst waiting for dinner...... she wants you still and yet you show no interest.
Guys wonder why there wives don't look at them the same and they are off on their own missions or joining clubs or finding hobbies......this is to get their minds off of the lack of interest that you show, in fact he is probably questioning whether you are having an affair or if she should!
Why does this happen, because you take her for granted and you already have her, so there is no need to keep her interested because you put a ring on her finger and tied her down with kids.
You forget that she is still your wife, the woman you chased around to marry, the woman that you bought flowers for, took out each time you got a chance and the woman that you laughed and cried with the woman that would do anything for you and the affection that she loved to give.
After years of marriage people loose interest, guys go through crisis mode as do woman and people drift apart but the one thing that you have to remember is that this is the woman tht has been through absolutely everything with you and she is still the woman that you haven't completely gotten to know yet.
Yes, there are still ways that she can get excited and turned on...you just don't know about it and part of the foreplay is to try new things and listen to the ideas nad fantasies that she would love to share with you, if you could just go back and maker her feel as though she is the woman that you made feel so special to begin with.
Tips on getting her turned on
Be a gentleman
Take it slow
Get to know and appreciate every part of her body
Listen to what she wants
Quickies are fun but sometimes you need to feel as though you are making love
Make eye contact
Touch her softly and gently whilst being protective and strong
Go back to the start and date nights are important
Be flirty, fun and adventurous
Turning any woman on
You have to feel every part of her body as if you feel every part is there to be explored, slowly and appreciate each and every moment. Yes a quickie is fun spontaneously but taking it slow and being seductive is a real turn on... if you don't have the time, then don't do it.
Listening to her and making her feel important, adored and completely loved is a natural turn on.
Date night is important because it makes her feel as though you are still interested and you want to show her off proudly.
Romance is important to a woman and that means candles, wine and conversation.... if you haven't had that for a while don't expect her to drip with excitement!
She is and always will be the one that loves you but you need to acknowledge her and make her know that you appreciate and remember the history that you have been through together.
Intimacy means making love and that means that you need to know what her needs, fantasies and feelings are as well as being open about what you want to.
Keeping it fresh is important and ignoring her unintentionally could make her drift away or turn off completely, which could lead to her finding someone that will idolise her.... hence the "toyboy" scenario which makes her feel important and adored.
To turn her on means to seduce her honestly and genuinely, and she can tell when you are not sincere.
To turn on your wife you need to go back to when you first started dating, when you showed complete interest and you made time for her because you were trying so hard to get her.
Take yourself back to the start and be flirty, fun and adventurous, spontaneous and show interest or try something new, whilst taking it slow....intimately.
Look good and make an effort to shave, shower and put on your cologne, compliment her when she has dressed up and notice her efforts.
Every now and again be a gentleman and open the door, help her put and make her feel safe and also make her feel as if she is the most important person in your whole existence.
© 2014 Natasha Pelati