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How to understand men better in relationship: the secret exposed

Updated on May 5, 2010

Understanding men in any Relationship

Ladies listen up! If you are already in a relationship with a man or you are about to, then I have some words of advice for you on how you can master the very important art of understanding the man – your man with whom you are in the relationship. Here’s how. Take a look.

Understanding your man and his finances in a relationship

The breadwinner of the home is supposed to be the man. Mind you I said ‘supposed’. In other words, there’s nothing wrong in a woman financially supporting the man in the home. Your man will inwardly thank you for doing that for him. But this is where many women make the fatal mistake in the relationship. They either leave the entire task of finally supporting the man all to the man by himself or they entirely take up the whole task all by themselves. The inherent danger here is that if you don’t support your man, he may start seeing you as a gold digger rather than a homemaker. On the other hand, you take up the whole task of providing and your man becomes lazier and lazier…And that is definitely not what you want. So in my own opinion, the support that I am talking about is that which is done in moderation with perfect timing. Do this and you will see how much secured your relationship can get day by day!

Understanding Your man and his mother

No matter what your say is on this or what you might think about this, many men are strongly attached to their moms in a very unimaginable, unexplainable and almost spiritual way! It is not hard to find families where the mother of the man calls the shot on what happens in the man’s home. Women i.e. wives and girlfriend often mistake this maternal attachment for lack of balls or commitment on the part of their man and so they put in everything to fight this. Ladies, I think that is a wrong move. First you have to understand that before you came along into his life, there was the mother, and so you will not be doing yourself so much good if you think you can just step into the picture and change the status quo. But the man is the cause, he doesn’t want to grow up, I can hear you say. That’s quite true in many cases but the one simple thing I suggest you must always bear in mind is that men are so much like babies and you know how much babies value their moms. So please watch it, don’t fight it. But if you must, please please don’t overdo it unless you want to achieve the opposite result and I know that is not your intention.

Understanding your man and his sex life

Your understanding this point perfectly is also among the keys to sustaining a healthy and long lasting relationship. If your man has any reason to believe he is not getting enough sex from you, don’t be shocked if one day you hear about or even experience his infidelity to you. Yes, many argue that men are bound to be unfaithful naturally but is that really the case? Listen ladies, there’s something you are not doing or you are doing so badly when it come to sex that irks your man though he may never bring himself up to tell you. And that’s where the problem lies. The man is not talking to you (but he maybe telling his friends) and so you might not know. So I advice you read his body language. Try as much as possible to talk about it with him. Sex is always an awkward issue to discuss even between couples but then you must be willing to cross that bridge after all you want to safeguard your relationship. You really need to ask him what he really wants in bed. To accommodate the danger in doing this, I suggest you also tell him what you want too at the same time. That way the supreme purpose of sex will be consummated.

Your man and infidelity

Yes it is true and it could happen…anytime! You know that really men are polygamous in nature. No matter what you do, how rich you are, how sexy you appear, how elegant and stylish you are in your dressing, your man will surely look at the others. And if he looks then he might touch and if he touches….Lord have mercy! So the battle to keep your man for you and yourself alone is always there but then shouldn’t there be some simple things that you can do to make your man your man? First, you just have to learn how to complement him. Be it in his business and finances, in his workplace and even in the home. I strongly believe that if you are able to make your man understand you and see you beyond the ‘my lover’ thingy, I mean something like a true friend indeed, then you may start having that soothing feeling that there’s actually nothing to worry about because in you will your man find a confidant, a place of refuge and succor and most especially a trusted and priceless mate. At that level in your relationship, even if he succeeds in looking, he will only end up making mental comparison between you and her while the thoughts of losing you will not allow him to think of ‘touching’. You get the drift? You have succeeded in solidly implanting yourself in him body and soul. Try to see for yourself.

Understanding your man and his friends

Sometimes in your relationship, you may find yourself wondering where your man is meeting his friends from and you may be concluding your plans on how to tell him who you think he should befriend or not. Wait! There is something you need to know. To have a long-lasting romantic relationship with him, you must be very careful on how you voice your opinion over his choice of friends because that is the key to understanding men in such relationships. The influence his friends have over him usually go a long way into determining whether your relationship is heading for the rocks or not. Men talk a lot, no doubts. They tell their friends many secret things about your relationship that you may never believe. Their friends have the unelected jobs of approving and disapproving what is right and who is wrong in your affair. So there is every possibility that when they get the feeling that you don’t approve of them, they will likewise do the same to you albeit suggestively. That is not going to do you any good on the day of reckoning! One clever way out this tight corner is to get his friends to be on your side right from the onset even if it means pretending but I don’t have to tell you how much of that type of nonsense you can take. Do I? Your man likes his football and the binge coupled with the crazy deafening mad noise with his friends, allow him. But then, don’t fail to gently remind him of the pains which he is forcing you to bear after all you have your relationship to protect and safeguard. I have seen occasions where girlfriends become football fans of the club side their spouse is supporting. Doing all these could work the magic for you in the relationship. But anyway that’s just my opinion.

Nagging in Relationship.

Who nags more in a relationship, the man or the woman?

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    • profile image

      Jan Marie 

      5 years ago

      It just doesn’t get any

      better than seeing the gorgeous “Mrs. Anita Pelaez” over at her and her

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      KutchMan others call him The Kutchmon!”…Most Just Call Him “The Most

      Interesting Man In The World”….(Anita and Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West, Key

      Lime Pie Factory and Grill)…Just watching the lovely couple baking together all those Yummy

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      Pie Factory and Grill…It should be on everyone’s bucket list for

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      ….Who Could Ask For Anything More?…Anita’s Key Lime Pie…(Hell Yes!)

    • Bronson_Hub profile image


      7 years ago from San Francisco, CA

      "This is what you left out. What can HE do to please the woman in bed?"

      I've learned one solution to this is to pay attention to the context leading up to that point. Pay attention to moods, situation, and body language.

      Sometimes we can do better in that department by simply taking our time making our way to the bedroom along with everything else that goes on in there. Attention and enjoyment leading up to it plays a big role.

      Other times, someone might regret wearing a $50 shirt that day, but laying down after going a few rounds and seeing it torn in half on the floor will feel like it was totally worth it.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image


      7 years ago

      I wanted to quote from Wikipedia:

      The Roman Catholic Church teaches in its Catechism that

      "polygamy is not in accord with the moral law. [Conjugal] communion is radically contradicted by polygamy; this, in fact, directly negates the plan of God which was revealed from the beginning, because it is contrary to the equal personal dignity of men and women who in matrimony give themselves with a love that is total and therefore unique and exclusive."[35]

      Also this hub:

      talks about how women age 12 are forced to marry 60 yr olds and treated like slaves.

      I believe in monogamy and the respect for marriage. Anthing else I feel is sinful and lustful and will be punished by God.


    • schoolgirlforreal profile image


      7 years ago

      And what does the man do for the women? This is what you left out. What can HE do to please the woman in bed?

      Women are supposed to understand men are polygamy and natually want to cheat, esp if they don't get what they want? They should tell the woman what they want or they're just stupid and selfish, minding that their woman is not a "nun" in bed and I don't think MOST women are. I find this hub to be demonstratingly chauvenistic.

      Why not what men can do for women? You think cheating is "acceptable" or something men are programmed for? Call me naïve, but I am sure there are many men who know how to be faithful and if a woman settles for less....she is foolish.

    • Hublord profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Enugu

      Thanks a lot. i am happy that you understand men feelings for their mum but sometimes most women just don't. wishing you luck in your relationship

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Very interesting points you made.. Yes a son have much love for his mother... However at the same time the wife or lady friend need to understand,by respecting one's mother and understanding the love he feels for her will allow him to love the wife even more...I love men who care deeply for their mother... It let's me know, they have been taught very well when it comes to loving a woman, it shows they are compassionate, humble, and knows what it means to appreciate things in life that matters most.... I look forward to reading more of your work

    • Hublord profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Enugu

      thanks ladybird33 for stopping-by,

      success in your relationship.

    • Ladybird33 profile image


      8 years ago from Fabulous USA

      This is very informative, I learned several new things in your hub. Thank you for sharing!


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