THE FIRST BOND CREATED BY GOD!
The First Bond Created By GOD Is Of Adam And Eve The Bond Of Husband And Wife
Marriage? What is marriage?
It's just a contract or consent of a man and woman, to start their relationship as husband and wife.
The very First bond which Allah( swt ) created was the bond of husband and wife ( Adam (as) and Hawa ( as )). This bond is nothing Like any other bond which one shares with friends or relatives. It is so strong and yet at the same time very fragile.
Allah says: "And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [Sûrah Rûm: 2r1].
Verily it's a sign to reflect upon. When Allah says "between your hearts " it means that this relationship is not only committed to just one person , but the other better half should reciprocate in the same way too. Allah has put so much of love and mercy into this bond that it has become a target of not just any shytan but the leader of shytans himself.
Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension) ; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife. The Satan goes near him and says: 'You have done well. A'mash said: He then embraces him. (Muslim Book #039, Hadith #6755).
It cam as a surprise to me when I read this hadith.
Abu Dharr reported: some of the people from among the Companions of the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) said to him: Messenger of Allah, the rich have taken away (more) reward. They observe prayer as we do; they keep the fasts as we keep, and tray give Sadaqa out of their surplus riches. Upon this he (the Holy Prophet) said: Has Allah not prescribed for you (a course) by following which you can (also) do sadaqa? In every declaration of the glorification of Allah (i. e. saying Subhan Allah) there is a Sadaqa, and every Takbir (i. e. saying Allah-O-Akbar) is a sadaqa, and every praise of His (saying al-Hamdu Lillah) is a Sadaqa and every declaration that He is One (La illha ill-Allah) is a sadaqa, and enjoining of good is a sadaqa, and forbidding of that which is evil is a Sadaqa, and in man's sexual intercourse (with his wife, ) there is a Sadaqa. They (the Companions) said: Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us? He said: Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward. (Muslim Book #005, Hadith #2198)
WOW! you get reward for making love to your spouse!. Now you have one more reason to do it more often. ;). You are being rewarded for satisfying your sexual passion in HALLAL manner and if one commits fornication or zina, then they are committing one of the major sins.
ADVICE TO UNMARRIED MUSLIMS
This feeling of being attracted to Opposite sex is normal. If you say "no, I don't get attracted to opposite sex" then you need to check with a Doctor.
That's why Allah has made some rules of hijab for women and lowering of gaze to men.
This feeling of lust is a test as well as a way of pleasure for us. Meeting up with ghair mehram with out Mehram ( father, brother ect), no matter what the reason is unacceptable. Saying that he is just a friend doesn't give the license for meeting up with them
Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab, Messenger of Allaah {Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam} said: "Whenever a man is alone with a woman shaytan makes a third." [Al-Tirmidhi 3118]
Abu Hurairah {RA} said: The Prophet {Sallallahu ALayhi Wa Sallam} said, "Allaah has written the very portion of Zina which a man will indulge in. There will be no escape from it. The Zina of the eyes is the (lustful) look, the Zina of the ears is the listening (to voluptuous songs or talk), the Zina of the tongue is (the licentious) speech, the Zina of the hands is the (lustful) grip, the Zina of the feet is the walking (to the place where he intends to commit Zina), the heart yearns and desires and the private parts approve all that or disapprove it.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Love marriages are allowed in Islam.
The best example is the love marriage of our PROPHET (PBUH) and KHADIJAH (RA).
1) Parents should get their children married at a right age. This is what Islam suggests. but these days it's a trend for a woman to marry in 30's n man in 40's after they have committed zina for years. This also doesn't mean that one gets their children married at a very early age before they are ready to take up the responsibilty
2) Abdullah (b. Mas'ud) (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to us: 0h! young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford It should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.
Even if someone says "Am not doing for lust and desires, but it's just nice to have a BF/GF.
It's makes me feel beautiful, wanted & loved. And look around, everybody is having GF'S and BF'S. Then why not me?"
Don't you see it's a trap of shytan. Love doesn't happen at First sight or just by looks. True Love is when you love a person after knowing his character with his good and negative things. So be patient and if you like someone let you'r parents know. Eg:- My friend took help of her elder sis to tell her parents about a guy whom she liked. And they are going to tie the knot very soon.
