- Gender and Relationships
Hygiene For Dating
How To Be Clean Enough For Your Date To Want You
Hygiene and bathing:
This is a difficult topic, but very necessary to cover. No one will /ever/ be attracted to you for you being UNCLEAN. EVER. Before I begin... imagine a woman you find attractive and would love to date... you finally get close to her and she has /bad/ BO (body odor). She has dirt under her nails, earwax hanging out of her ears, bad breath, seems to be wearing dirty clothes, filthy hands, long toenails that are jagged and unkempt with dirt under them too, hairy legs and armpits.... I think you get the point... How attractive do you find her now? This is the state that I find most men in that are complaining they can't get or perhaps can't KEEP a girlfriend. (granted with a few differences, but still the same type of things) The first thing to remember about bathing is that by the time you can smell yourself everyone else has been smelling you for three days. People are immune to their own body-scents, so don't think that you can tell whether or not you smell. If you haven't bathed, then you smell. That is all there is to it. Sometimes people bathe and they STILL smell. I have met more than one person that thinks simply standing under the hot water for a few minutes means they are clean... they don't use soap or shampoo, etc. Do these same people think that your mouth is clean simply because you rinsed it with water? Or that their dishes are clean because they sat in the sink? ick. I hope not, but then again perhaps they do. gross. That is why we are here today:)
Bathing and grooming: You must take a shower every single day, and maybe twice if you have a date (you should always bathe right before your date, if ever you want to get lucky). When taking a shower it is necessary to actually lather every single part of your body that you can reach (using a new batch of lather for each bit, don't just spread the dirt around). This includes (especially) feet, ears, armpits, back of neck, face, stomach, crotch (front and back), genitals (extra soap), legs. Every single time you bathe you must wash every part of you that you can reach, and use enough soap that the foaming of the soap actually covers your skin. You must also wash your hair with a /shampoo/ (do not just use the soap you washed with), and after you rinse it out (maybe wash it twice if necessary), then you might need to condition it (if it is less than 3 inches long, you might not need to). Use a conditioner for your hair type. It doesn't have to be expensive to work for your hair, but when buying a shampoo and conditioner it is important to smell it first. Same with hair gel, soap, deodorant, etc. because SCENT MATTERS. Keep in mind that oils in your hair and in your skin are what absorb bad smells and then reflect them back out to the world. This is also true of hair products. Just because you were clean earlier doesn't mean you are now. When you get out of the shower, you /must/ clean your ears with q-tips. If you have a side mirror you can look to make sure there are not grungy bits left. Make sure to do something with your hair. If you need a haircut get one before you ask the woman out on a date. If you get a haircut that needs gel then USE IT. Brushing, flossing, and gargling! (You should always carry a ditty bag with you in case you get lucky! ;) This should include toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, brush (if you need one), razor, and CONDOMS). I don't know what people are being taught, but you really need to brush your teeth after every single time you eat or drink something like coffee. If you are spending the night with someone it is a good idea to re-brush your teeth every single time you go to the bathroom (even in the middle of the night). Bad breath is very difficult to convey to another in a positive manner, so please be paranoid about bad breath (extremely paranoid). When brushing you need to take the entire two minutes, brush every surface inside and out, and as the last step you need to brush your tongue, go back as far as you possible can, and really scrub it clean all the way to both sides. You also need to floss really well every day, and THEN brush. Check your teeth to make sure there is no grime built up between them. If there is anything built up between your teeth, then brush and floss again, if it doesn't come off then you need to have your teeth cleaned, so go to the dentist. No one wants to lick dirty teeth. (what do you think kissing is?). Also, make it a habit to gargle with really good mouthwash. Try to find an alcohol free one.
Let me reiterate: No one will ever be attracted to you for you being UNCLEAN. Ever.
Before your date you should always shave whatever things you regularly shave. Men:If you shave your face then you need to shave ALL of your neck down to the collarbone. It is acceptable to leave a small amount of hair inside of the round circle in between your collarbones, if you so choose. (if you want to gripe about this wait until the end of this chapter before you submit your complaints) If you manscape, then please do so before your date. If you trim your genitals, then please also trim the hair on the insides of your thighs where your legs touch your genitals. Consider that it is really nice if there is no body hair that is longer than 1".
Women: If you shave, then shave whatever you shave. If you wax, then time your dates for the week after you wax;) If you do not shave, nor wax, please consider that it is really nice if there is no body hair longer than 1".
Make sure you put on underarm deodorant (and preferably one with an anti-perspirant in it too... as a combo). If you want to wear perfume, cologne, or after shave, make sure to not use too much. When choosing these items at your drugstore, do NOT choose anything that is old-spice, as 1 in 4 women is allergic to old-spice. You need to know that as I am speaking for /most/ women (not all), you need to realize that most women do /not/ like hairy backs or upper arms. And the ones that do, generally prefer it trimmed. If you are a hairy person, you should consider either invest in clippers for trimming, or in being waxed, or lasered. If you are waxed 10-12 times you will have nearly no hair growth return, and what does return will be much finer. (if you want to complain about this, again, see the end of the chapter) You also need to groom your eyebrows. They do not need to be plucked so that they LOOK plucked, but they need to be controlled so as not to look unkempt. Please pluck just enough in between so as to not have a uni-brow. Your eyebrows should not creep back towards your hairline. Also you need to comb them up and down every once in a while to make sure you don't have any long ones; either pluck them or trim them with scissors. This includes nose hairs too. Push the edge of your nostril back while looking in the mirror. Any hairs that stick out need to be trimmed. In this same vein you should understand that ALL of your body hair should be groomed from time to time. Your armpit hairs should not be more than 1 inch long. Your crotch should be no longer than 1 inch, but as short as 1/4 is highly appreciated by most women, and lots of women even like guys totally shaved down there. Buy some electric clippers to do this work (with a guard), DO NOT USE SCISSORS (you would only make that mistake ONCE). You also need to clean (and trim when uneven or long) your fingernails and toenails every day when you get out of the shower, and fingernails should be cleaned every time you wash your hands. If you are one of those people that always has holes in your socks from your toenails, this is disgusting. If you can rip open your socks then you would surely rip open the legs of your partner, if you ever got them into bed. Your toenails should have no color under them, no dark matter, they should be cleaned and trimmed. If you do not know how to trim nails so as to assure that you don't get an ingrown toenail, then do some research, or ask your doctor. The nails on your hands should be scrubbed, and scrapped clean and trimmed smooth. A short note here, that will be a longer note in another section: if your hands aren't absolutely clean then you don't put then anywhere private on a woman. If your hands aren't absolutely clean then you can cause an infection. So it is necessary to thoroughly wash your hands before you start making out.
Now, I have heard males complain about some of these things. Saying this such as "this is who _I_ am, and if a woman doesn't like it then she isn't for me!". Well, in response to that I have to ask... So you have no problem with going out with someone who doesn't shave her legs or armpits? Or who doesn't bathe every day? Or who is overweight? Or who smells and has bad breath? Because we as women could claim the same thing. Men intrinsically feel that they should be able to only wear clothes that they are comfortable in, but in the same breath they usually want their women to wear things that make them look good. You don't get to have it both ways. If you want well groomed, well dressed women on your arm, you must be a well groomed, well dressed men. You want a woman that takes care of herself, then you need to do the same. It is not a double standard here. We are not asking less of you than you are of us. We are asking THE SAME of you. If you want a dumpy, unkempt woman, then you might be able to find one, but more than likely she will want to be unkempt, but expect higher standards of you. Quite a paradox isn't it? No, it isn't. You simply must LIVE what you want to have in your life. A man once complained to me that he didn't want to get this tuft on the back of his neck waxed. He felt that women should just 'accept it'... until I asked him if he liked dating women with armpit hair. He said NO, and I said, 'what? You won't just 'accept it'?
Don't live a double standard. Life won't let you get away with it, and so you will always just be miserable.