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I Fear

Updated on August 9, 2010

I FEAR . . .

     I call your name hoping that you will hear, but I know it's nothing but a wisper in the dark.

     I reach for you, but you're not there and it's enough to stop the beating of my heart.

     Oh, my joy, where have you gone? It's too painful now! I can't stand to be alone.

     These four walls, they never talk back.

     Like a fly they just look and stare.

     What happened to all the promises? You said you'll always love me and you'll always be there.

     Now, you've left me with a face full of tears, a borrowed heart, and your name I resent to hear.

     It's like poison in your bowels, in your mouth. Regurgitate, throw it up! Spit it out!!

     I must rid myself of all my thoughts of you, but like a pheen it's so hard to do.

     I'm haunted by the joys and pleasures we shared. I awake and feel your present there.

     So, I submerge myself under my covers. Vowing never to love another.

     For, If I do, or if I may, i fear my joy  my leave again some day.



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    • K9keystrokes profile image

      India Arnold 7 years ago from Northern, California

      How heartbreaking. I lost my spouse to cancer in 2008 and have felt a measure of your pain because of it. The loss, the anger the lonliness, all far too harsh to keep within. I am sorry for the loss of your Joy. My hope for you is a newly created love to heal the burden of your lost heartbeats.

      ~Always choose love~