- Gender and Relationships»
I Married A Moron
I admit it. I married a moron. When I confessed this to my best friend Angel, she admitted that she had done the same thing. Thus began our exclusive club appropriately named IMAM, which is short for I Married A Moron.
The true moment of realization came to me as we were driving to Florida on our honeymoon. I have no idea what the disagreement was about. Our disagreements always ended up with us laughing anyway. I simply am not the type to stay mad and hold a grudge. I'd rather laugh.
So somewhere along the long drive on our honeymoon, he did something typically stupid (mind you, I don't claim to be a genius myself). In utter exasperation, I said to him " You know what? YOU are a moron!". He looked at me with righteous indignation and fired back "Well, YOU knew THAT when you married me!".
Oh my gosh, he was right! What a brilliant answer on his part! It was stunningly clever because it acknowledged that I was right, but that it was all my fault anyway. I still marvel at the beauty of his that particular comment of his. I had to laugh because it was the perfect answer.
That remark of his was the beginning of the IMAM club.Angel and I shared many observations about our mates and the things they did that baffled us and annoyed us. My own husband simply couldn't get the hang of how to run a washing machine, yet could fly a plane. Hers was a noted chef who had his own cooking school but managed to lock his keys in his car at least once a month.
When I was in labor with our son, it was determined that I needed an emergency C-section. Out of concern, I asked my husband if he would be ok with seeing me cut open like that. He replied "Sure, I've seen a deer gutted before". Ummm what?!?? Where is the comparison between those two situations? He now denies that statement but I have witnesses.
Upon hearing that a hurricane was heading our way and that we must stock up on supplies, Angel's husband panicked and said " Hurry, you must go get beer and condoms!". Really? Those are the necessities of life?
Membership in IMAM allowed us the joy of reveling in our spouses idiocy and our own. Every stupid thing they did (or stupid thing we had done) translated into a hilarious conversation between us over what idiocy had happened. It was hard to be annoyed with the things they did when in the back of our minds we were thinking " Oh my gosh, wait till I tell this IMAM story!"
We both eventually divorced those spouses but membership in IMAM is forever. The memories, stories and the laughter over our experiences lasts forever too.