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I am faced with another greater Challenge

Updated on May 24, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

A Different Envious People

  • The story as follows:

She is a friendly person but is not a true person.

I did not know much about her but after noticing her recent behaviors and finally saw her for nothing more than fake and envious person.

I have tried to be friendly with her but just can't get to that point of having a meaningful friendship.

A kind of person who feels her way means more than that of another.

It began when I saw her true being.

Some time ago, we were invited to a next door neighbor's home for supper and the host was hospitable and very friendly.

He insisted on pouring out whiskey drinks to most who liked the strength of alcohol.

The woman stood by and asked me a question which I was quite surprised by.

  • ''Shouldn't your husband bring his own whiskey here?''

I did not expect her to ask me such a question.

The neighbor invited a few people to his home for supper that evening. He did not mention that anyone should bring their own whiskey or other drinks.

It would have been an insult if anyone did bring their own drinks.

It is cultural in our region that nobody has to bring their own beverages or alcohol drinks to any event.

It is not a gesture at all times.

The woman felt the need to mention it.

The host does not know about it and I felt frustrated by her question.

I know it is not her place to talk about it and didn't think it was right for the woman to ask the question. It is not her home.

If anyone had something to say the owner of the house had all the right to open up to that kind of a conversation.

Since then I feel the woman is not worth my time. I have seen too much of her annoying behavior and I am better of not being with her.

Months later, we were invited again to the neighbor’s place and I had take our own whiskey. He was not pleased about it. In fact he was offended by us showing up with our own whiskey, and I did not mention why.

Though he did ask why, and I failed to mention it.

A friendship supposed to be true and meaningful and I don't see that with her.

The envious acts have showed me more about her.

She has not spoken to me in a while and has a different opinion of me she has a chip on her shoulder.

  • I believe in being true to me and to others.

Making the odd visit to someone and to pretend it is all okay when it is not, well, that is definitely not me.

Living that life with pleasing others all the time has never been part me and will never be.

I have learned so much more about the small community I live in that the more I see the more I don't want to be with such people.

Life is short and I don't sweat the small stuff but when someone such as her who is often out of line and so envious it can get to me at times.

The question she asked was not spoken of and she remains silent about it.

The next door neighbor is blinded by her cunning habits.

You know when you tell someone the good news or let them know of how well you are doing and the sudden change in their faces shows right away. It tells you everything you need to know about them.

In my opinion that means jealousy. The change in her face has showed me more about her lousy character.

There are all kinds of people in this world only when you come across such individuals will you know their true being.

  • Do you agree?

I have seen that during many of conversations with her.

  • Have you had such experiences?

The next door neighbor has a close friendship with this woman and her husband but he does not see her spitefulness.

I feel for the way he is so attached to her. Also, his wife does not see the side that I see of her.

I know that she can't be what I am and she will always be envious toward me but that won't stop me, from being me. She can't change the way I am and that is what makes me much happier with me.

I see people for who they are right from the first impressions. Once I know what my gut feeling is telling me, I either continue seeing that person, or don't bother at all.

When I first met this woman she did not give me much of any good vibes and this is why I can't have that true friendship with her.

The gossiping lifestyle that she has lived by is not connected with mine that alone shows me how different we are and making friends has never occurred to me.

Living close by does not mean that I should lick up to her for anything.

We are different people, in culture, mentality and so much more which puts us in another world of life.

  • I have often been asked the question:

  • Where is it better to live, in Croatia or in South Africa?

A question that is most difficult for me to answer.

I love my home back in South Africa where I spent most of my life until my thirties, and now I am living in Croatia where I had grown to accept certain parts of my new life living here.

I answer truly that South Africa is better for me.

There are many differences in both places and I like both places but for different reasons.

The local people don't understand what I mean and feel I am wrong about my answer. To them I am supposed to say Croatia is better for me.

In all I said here and have thought of my life has become more challenging and I am very happy in my own way.

I have met many people and know I can't change them so they should not try to change me.

I am just trying to be me if they can't accept it, then I don’t care.

She is most envious when she notices our improvements and right away tries to do the same or something in her home that can show some improvement.

Everybody can try to have what others have, but what people don't realize is not everyone can have everything of the same.

The more they try, the more they would fail to comply with their actual needs.

Choices are made according to what one knows of and of what are good for them, and with intelligence and different lifestyles people build their lives uniquely.

Envious people don't see that all they see is competition.

  • Inquisitive and curious!

She is often that way the need to know what is going on around the neighborhood.

My life is my focus.

I don't get into the lives of others.

  • If you were faced with this kind of person what would you do?

  • How would you handle such situations?

  • Do you think the neighbor should be told about the question asked?

Life is challenging day by day and I choose to go on with great pride.

Words spoken can't be changed or taken back always choose your words carefully before throwing it out to someone.

A simple question asked is sometimes so unnecessary but when someone feels the need to ask that question they doesn't waste time instead go right ahead and get it out of their minds.

  • Should I mention the question to the next door neighbor?

  • Would I be the bigger person in this situation or looked at as the problem-makers?

  • What do you think?

Problematic Issues

Should I mention the question to the next door neighbor?

See results

Fake People and Jealousy

Dealing with Envious People

© 2014 Devika Primić

Comments

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    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Pamela99 I so agree with you and the rest as commented. ''she is. She is not worth you getting stressed.'' Life is to precious to let someone like that into mine. Thank you kindly.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      4 years ago from Sunny Florida

      I tend to avoid people like her, as life is too short for that nonsense. I would not do anything that was not part of my culture to try and smoothe over the situation. I think eventually everyone will recognize her for who she is. She is not worth you getting stressed.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      justmesuzanne thank you kindly for commenting and your thoughts here sound helpful as all of other comments.

    • justmesuzanne profile image

      justmesuzanne 

      4 years ago from Texas

      I don't understand the question. Why would she think your husband (and apparently no one else) should bring his own bottle? I think it's a weird thing to say, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. If she is someone you deal with on a regular basis, stay cordial and don't stress about it.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello ologsinquito, you have said it so perfectly. I do have that in mind as well. Your comment means a lot to me and shows me correctly as of other comments thank you

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 

      4 years ago from USA

      People who act this way are not happy with themselves. You certainly don't need to interact much with them, other than smiling and waving when you drive by their house. If they don't return this courtesy, that's their problem, not yours.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi midget38 thank you for showing me the way here toxic people are not worth my valuable time. Well-answered.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      4 years ago from Singapore

      Such people are annoying and even toxic, Devika. Just keep your distance.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      jtrader I am so glad you understand my point of view here and just reading all comments helps me out even more to see where I have went wrong in some ways as you have mentioned.'' I think you made a mistake by carrying the whiskey the second time but that is in the past.'' I did not know what to do as this woman did created some bad feelings for me at that time. Thank you.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Vellur you are so right she tried to make my life miserable and I had to stop seeing her to be normal again.Thank you such a helpful comment.

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 

      4 years ago

      Some people like to create rifts in the relationships of others. This woman asked that question to create bad feelings. I would not say anything to the neighbour about what she asked. It would just leave them feeling even more uncomfortable. I think you made a mistake by carrying the whiskey the second time but that is in the past. As you made the point, unless the host requests it, we should not carry food or drink to a party.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      4 years ago from Dubai

      It is not really worth building a relationship with fake people,keep your distance and be just cordial enough to say that you acknowledge her presence but otherwise ignore this person she can make your life miserable.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello MsDora Thank you for all support I so appreciate your kind words.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi grand old lady, thank you for all support.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thank you MG Singh.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi D.A.L. People are different from all parts of this world and sometimes it is difficult to see who the real person i sin your life in this case I have seen it all and plan to stay away from her thank you for sharing such valuable words. I enjoy reading your well-informed hubs, you certainly know how to surprise us readers with a new topic of beautiful nature.Your presence is always appreciated at my hubs. Thank you for all votes.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Billys1 well said and I have done just that disassociated myself from her and feel good about thank you for stopping by.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway, You could right! Thank you for all support your kindness is greatly appreciated.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi billbuc thank you for all support.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      crazybeanrider, I have disassociated myself from this person my best choice ever made in a long time thank you kindly for supporting me.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello R.Q. I understand your comment and I have given p my small bit of friendship had with her. She is a much older woman but has always been that way. Thus her reason for not having many friends and that I have realized along the way in trying to get to know her. I don't miss her conversations and now have a much more free mind of life and friends. Thank you kindly for sharing your valuable comment.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      4 years ago from The Caribbean

      Devika, I voted not to make it an issue. You have overcome similar challenges before, and I hope that you will always come through gracefully. Be at peace with whatever you plan to do.

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 

      4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Hi Devika;

      Well; it seems that some people are sent to try us, especially those folk who repeatedly like to toss one onto the horns of a dilemma and disturb your peace. Regarding your friend - was her mood offset by her already having had a wee dram before saying what she said? Was she on the monthly cycle etc? Are you writing this Hub article in the hope that she sees it without you confronting her directly in the hope that she comes to her senses? Is it just a ' storm in a teacup ' or a prelude for you wanting to move to S. Africa anyway? Is it just a petty, surreptitious vehicle of excuse she is using in order to have a go at you for another reason, unknown to your readers ( a cheap shot of passive-aggression using dime-store psychology )?

      It's difficult to make any real comment of value without knowing more facets of a situation which seems to bear a cocktail of issues. From what you've written, what is clear is that, if it is customary in your region to not bring your own drink at the risk of insulting your host, then the woman is wrong in her assertion to you, which you have proven by the disapproval meted out by said host upon you producing your own drink at your second invitation. Furthermore, you indeed have been a friend to her by not embarrassing her in front of this host, and currently overlooking her hurtful gybe. If you are a woman of faith, then it makes sense to pray about your current affairs in order to at least acquire that semblance of peace which will help lead you into making those decisions that you need to make. You are obviously smart enough to gather as much counsel as you can garner in order to be as well-informed as possible, which in turn, should strengthen the outcome of your deliberations, and grant you more latitude in making the requirements listed in your poll if you deem her to be a fake. Just opinions here DDE as I'm not a counsellor; personally, I don't like letting 'friends' go, but if that relationship becomes too toxic, it certainly pays to disassociate with them.Tearing a strip off someone is very tempting( I'm sure many of us could be professional strippers by now lol! ) but not always the answer. There is always that hope that people can, and will change for the better.

      Here's hoping all turns out well for all and sundry concerned; that those who deserve peace receive peace in abundance and those who are envious and jealous come to shame so that they might realize the misery they are causing and change their mind.

      Sincerely;

      R.Q.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

      4 years ago from Philippines

      It's a sad reality that there are so many people like the person you described in this hub. Better to establish a wide wall between you. Life is short, enjoy it with people who add positive inputs to your life. Great hub.

    • MG Singh profile image

      MG Singh 

      4 years ago from Singapore

      Nice hub DDE, one has to face everything

    • D.A.L. profile image

      Dave 

      4 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      As regards which country you are happiest in ' Home is where the heart is' and always will be. As regards your horrid acquaintance you have the right attitude about her. In your mind put her in a box labeled 'does not exist in my life'. Another great read about human behavior and emotions. Voted up useful and interesting.

    • profile image

      Billys1 

      4 years ago

      DDE, if she is but a fake friend then cut your ties with her, call it quits and save yourself all of the frustrations of having a back stabber in your life. On the other hand, if she is just having a bad time right now, befriend her and you both will prosper in the long run.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      4 years ago from USA

      Oftentimes, those who are closest to a problem have the most difficult time seeing it. Perhaps this is your neighbor's issue with her "friend."

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I do not keep fake people in my life. My choice, but life is too short to deal with those types.

    • crazybeanrider profile image

      Boo McCourt 

      4 years ago from Washington MI

      Very interesting. I have had people such as this woman in my life, I would ask the host if he would like your husband to bring refreshment when you visit, you don't really have to mention the woman. But at least you will have peace of mind if it is the correct thing to do. I personally would avoid this woman at every turn. She sounds to me like she is not comfortable and trying to fit in, and possibly emulating others to find herself. Those are just my thoughts from reading. I could be so very wrong. But either way avoidance would be my course of action.

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