I Cheated, Now What?

First you have to be honest with yourself and think why did you do it. Find the source of the problem. Don’t try to make up excuses or to cover up your mistake. Cheating will always be a bad thing. It’s either it was your intention to cheat or it was an “accident”.

For example, let’s say you didn’t plan it or did not know it happened because you were drunk. Now ask yourself, why were you drunk in the first place? Was it your intention to get drunk? Have you ever thought of something bad might happen if you were to fill your entire system with alcohol?

Another scenario would be “he/she cheated on me first, I’m just returning the favor”. This is one of the hardest and heart breaking things that can happen in a relationship. Finding out your lover shared or is sharing intimate moments with an another person other than you is absolutely terrible. And sometimes due to our anger and frustration, some of us would consider sleeping with another person to somehow make it even. This irrational decision would often make the situation worse and will definitely not make you feel better.

And another common reason is you don’t have feelings for each other anymore. Any couple, regardless how perfect their relationship might be, can also be a victim of this situation. It could happen that one day, you’ll wake up and realize that the love you have for that person is no longer there. You might have grown apart from each other, you were not able to settle your differences or simply as you don’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with that person. Whatever the reason is or the situation we have to admit that it could happen. One can fall out of love.

The thing is, whatever reason you have for cheating, it’s still a wrong thing to do. You can’t hide the fact that you are still at fault. But why are we doing this? Why do we need to ask ourselves these questions and find out the reason?

Finding out why you cheated will help you with the next step.

Now you are able to admit to yourself what really happened and the reason why you did it, it’s time to confess. I know this is an extremely hard thing to do. Most of us would rather keep it a secret. But I believe that nothing can really remain a secret. No matter how hard you try to bury the secret deep down, it’ll always find its way to the surface. Would you really be happy to continue on with the relationship knowing you cheated on your partner? Is your guilt not gonna haunt you at night before you sleep? If you do not feel sorry or guilty at all, it’s either you really don’t care much about your partner or your are a horrible person.

Admitting to your lover can end in two ways, you’ll break up or you’ll fight then possibly be forgiven. If the reason why you cheated on the first place is because you have another love interest or not in love with that person anymore, I would say it’s better to tell the truth and end the relationship. If you don’t have feelings for your partner anymore, you have to tell him/her. There is no use in continuing the relationship if both parties do not have any mutual feelings anymore.

The same applies even though it was an accident. You have to admit your fault and face the consequences of your actions. If you still want to keep the relationship, be your genuine self, admit and apologize for you fault, ask for forgiveness and for a second chance. Let them know that you know what you did is wrong and horrible. Ask for another chance even though the chances are slim and you know for a fact that you don’t deserve one.

I know what you’re thinking, what if they’re already married? This is going to be a lot harder but a marriage needs honesty and trust for it to work. It’s even harder if you already have children. You have to carefully think about it and what damage can it do to your family. Most couples in this situation would decide for a divorce and some would rather forgive and forget for the sake of the children. I am not in the position to tell you what to do. Certain situations would result to certain outcomes. I am not encouraging divorcement but sometimes, ending a marriage can also result to a happier life and family. This is just my opinion, but I would rather be in a separated family rather than being miserable and fighting all the time.

Weather it resulted to a break up or something that made your relationship stronger, you have to accept the fact that you made a wrong decision and you have to face the result. Use it as an important life lesson. One thing break ups can teach you is that you’ll know what not to do in your next relationship. I guess what’s important is the realization that one mistake can turn everything upside down. Some of you might not feel bad about it since the relationship was not that serious to be begin with, but put yourself on your partner’s shoes. Imagine how they would feel knowing the person they cared and adored cheated on them. Imagine how awful they must have felt. The dissapointment and sadness they felt when they found out that their partner is in the arms of someone else. How insecure they must have felt and the tears they’ve shed. You wouldn’t want that to happen to you right?