- Gender and Relationships
What if I I don't love my husband?
This is a completely normal and regular part of being married. Sometimes you won’t feel in love at all. The butterflies in your stomach from the beginning of the relationship are long gone, and that is okay.
Love isn’t just about the jitters or heart racing. It is the solid substance underneath those feelings that hold your marriage up. In movies and fairy tales, we continually portray love as something that you feel all the time, and it is seriously misleading. Love is as much an action as it is an emotion.
Just because you don’t feel that you love’ doesn’t mean you aren’t. This phenomenon is one of the reasons that people get divorced and married over and over again. They keep chasing those butterflies, only to have them disappear.
A healthy marriage will consist of some intense butterflies, and other times when you don’t really feel in love at all. Hold on through the monotonous, day in and out stuff, and you will eventually come full circle. There is no happily ever after, as we are in a constant state of progress.
There are ways that you can overcome the lack of love for you husband by creating those feelings again. You can do this by spending time together in mutually enjoyable locations, by recreating your first dates, and by maintaining a physical relationship.