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I quit the 'Dating Game'!

Updated on August 30, 2012
A moment of peace... rightfully titled that way.
A moment of peace... rightfully titled that way. | Source
Whatever the mood calls for-- I'm ready!
Whatever the mood calls for-- I'm ready! | Source
Time to relax alone.
Time to relax alone. | Source

Enough with all the insecure men-- I prefer to watch "The New Adventures of Old Christine" and have a good glass of wine.

I recently "quit" my "man diet" and decided to start dating men again. Of course, my best intentions were my motivation, and having done all my "me work," read countless self-help books, and a new invincible attitude about relationships, I figured: no guy can faze me-- I will see through him like a cheesecloth!

So here's my update on dipping my toes back into the dating pool (via OKCupid):

First of all, I'd like to reiterate that I had positive thoughts and an unstoppable attitude about online dating. I seriously thought that it would be easy: I would cut my losses early on and move onto the next fish in the sea.... only, I didn't realize that it's no different from all the guys I've been encountering, only the choices are dismal (speaking optimistically).

Date #1: a "rocker-dude" whom didn't catch my eye in the first place, but having my open and easy going attitude, I figured, "hey, at least I'll have a friend who can invite me to concerts/live performances locally." Um, he was late on our first meeting, and looked like Keith Richards (regardless of being only 2 years older than me, and I look quite good for my age). Bad move #2 from "rocker-dude": he kept leaning into me, and I almost fell off the bar stool. I don't like anyone invading my personal space, especially on the first meeting, ESPECIALLY if he doesn't look like Brad Pitt. When we said our "goodbyes", he proceeded to lean in for a kiss-- to which I turned my cheek. If that wasn't enough body language to say "I'm not interested," he actually had the nerve to ask, "Is this going to turn into a relationship?" I tried not to let my eyes pop out as I glanced at him, but I think I failed. Has anyone seen a pair of green eyes around?

Date #2: the hot, young thang (27 to be exact), who called instead of doing the text/email BS-- major points in my book. He sounded promising (although a bit aloof/mysterious about himself-- I was picking up a major married/committed vibe from him), but he was a no-show on our first meeting at the bar in Oceanside. He did call again, and try to "make up for it," claiming he tried to text (I don't have texting on my phone), but I was already done with this guy. He set up a date to meet (when I was under the influence), and I forgot everything I agreed to. So he called me at 1 pm from the pier, wondering where I was. Well, I told hot stuff, I was about to pick up the pizza from Pizza Hut in a few moments, and sorry, but I didn't recall what I said. He knew right away he deserved the same treatment..... he has since removed his profile from OKCupid, so I'm pretty sure he was "attached" to someone.

Date #3: the short guy with a cute face. I tried to do what I read in relationship articles, by going "outside of my comfort zone" of men who are my "type." This guy had potential: we had a high score of compatibility, and he seemed friendly enough. So we messaged a few (long) times, and he finally asked to see me. Our meeting went well (oh, yeah-- he's 5'6" like me, so hugging him was like hugging a twin). Our second date, he went all out and took me to Bennihana's for filet mignon and chicken breast (with the chef's entertainment included). Then, he showed me the constellations with his phone's GPS system, and we ended the date after midnight. I didn't even notice the time had passed, and our night ended with a sweet session of kisses on the lips.

But this guy sent one message afterward, and then never again.

So, here I am wondering: Is there a black hole vortex that sucks men in after they leave my house? Is it my breath? (I can't help that the salad at Bennihana's had onions in it!) Is it something I said? Did? What the heck? Is dating really this confusing?

I officially "quit" the "Dating Game."

Really. No man diets, just a general disgust for men who have issues, and pass along their insecurity to me. I'm only human, and I'm much happier enjoying the scent of flowers and viewing the cosmos on my own.

What will it take to change my mind?

I don't know. I guess I'd have to have a strong connection with a guy (like really good friends or something) for me to venture out into this field of confusion. I just want to have fun, and not think too much into it, but after a few creeps, I'm wondering why I even bother.

It seems like the task to find my mate is like finding a needle in a haystack, only the needle is camouflaged in hay-colored disguise. And there's also a string attached that yanks it out from my grasp as soon as I get close to said needle. Ah foo-wee! You ladies can have all the yucks out there. I'm much happier catering to my kids, and checking out the eye candy online.

What do you prefer?

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    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 3 years ago

      You're funny. I'm pretty sure you've gotten back on the dating horse by now. You're not one to give up. By the way, there are some men who quit and walk away because they're afraid they don't have it all together, financially...and their fear takes over. Thus, they quit. This happens with attractive women who have some good things going on. So, at least, that's one reason to not feel too terribly disgusted...well, maybe.

      Anyway, I had not visited your site in awhile and I thought it was high time I did. You never fail to entertain---that's for sure.

    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 4 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks for the comment, AmandaJon. I'm still optimistic but won't go on dating sites. I've also stopped using the term "soul mate." I think there are any number of people you can relate to and have added joy with, not just one person in this world. I'm open to love, and ready to share that kind of joy (for sure).

    • AmandaJon profile image

      Amanda Jones 4 years ago

      Have you tried other dating sites? Maybe you should? You gave up too soon

      I think, being single has less advantages than being in a happy relationship.

      I was lucky to meet a man (my husband) online. Every one has a soul mate, don't give up and keep looking I'm sure you meet each other sooner or later if you truly believe in love.

    • profile image

      Not John Smith 4 years ago

      Three dates and you give up? That's it? Three half-assed dates, and you are done?

      Lady, I have to have sex with 30 women before there is a one that would be a good girlfriend! I use so many latex gloves (anal play) and so many tubes of lubricant that the wal-mart cashier looks at me strange, as I buy five tubes of the stuff!

      Meanwhile, three lousy dates and you throw in the towel already?

    • profile image

      Poetic Fool 5 years ago

      Sheila, sorry to hear coming off your man diet didn't work out as you hoped. Stick to your standards, don't compromise, and you will come across the right guy in time.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 years ago

      Excellent sense of humor!

      Hang in there Wonderful1. Trust me it's no picnic for the guys who are looking either. Although I have to tell you not all online dating sites are equal when it comes to quality. From my past observations the free ones or very low cost ones tend to draw in masses.

      As I noted in a comment on one of your other hubs; men and women reject one another differently. Women are usually (direct) by saying "no". Men reject (indirectly) by refusing to pursue. At any rate casual dating is all about having fun. Most of these guys could be weeded out prior to meeting them simply by noting how well they communicate via the phone and email. I hope you don't give up. I look forward to reading about your adventures! :-)

    • fjones0052 profile image

      fjones0052 5 years ago from Washington State

      I am not sure how to respond to this. Welcome to the disposable age, here's your Kool-Ade? Another one bites the dust? The first 2 dates there can be an explanation to, but the third one has me baffled? We all deserve to have someone who likes us for us, foibles and all, and should never 'settle' for someone who will treat us less. One of the neat things about us humans is we are so dynamic.

    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 5 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks so much for that, Ellana. Well said, and taken! Congrats on your new main squeeze (may he continue to bring you happiness for a long, long time). I think there are lots of women out there who feel the same way, and it probably helps us recognize what we DON'T want. If and when the right guy would come along, I'm sure I will feel the difference (meaning, he should never give you confusing mixed messages, and make you feel like you are cherished).

      With that said, I think I will stop wasting time with online dating. All the messages, building up, and then BAM! Gone for no reason. I have better things to do than work on "getting dates." *face palm* LOL.

    • Ellana317 profile image

      Ellana317 5 years ago from Indianapolis, IN

      Girlfriend, I totally understand. I was feeling this EXACT same way about 6 months ago. I even began a One Year Challenge but obviously it wasn't meant for me to complete because I am now having long late night conversations with the most amazing man I've ever met (I hope that perception never changes). At any rate,the journey to finding this type of potential was well worth the wait. So, my encouraging words to you are be patient. It will come and when it does, it'll overtake you. So, hear me when I say this...Enjoy your single season sister. It won't last forever.