I’d Rather Handle a Diamond Back Than Face “Some” Monsters I Once Knew

offer you this warm invitation for you to open the heart to my door, because this piece is probably THE most-open hub that I can get—depending on my topic. Of the two deadly reptiles, the Bush Master is much-more lethal than the Arizona Diamond Back Rattler. Even this comparison of deathly snakes will tell you that I am not that bad at heart.

The second thing about me is I do not go around the house or where I live and hold-up a sign to advertise that “I” am not that bad of a person and I invite those who would be happy in finding-out to just stand in my face and ask, “Ken, are you really not a bad person?” To that sensitive question, I would quickly reply, “No!”

for you to take and please, abide by the answers on this test. This should be so easy since there is only ONE question: Who is THE most-obnoxious person you can think of? Just be honest. The answer is strictly-confidential.

If I were to be asked my own question, I would answer: “Gene,” which is this guy’s real middle name, and I will not write his first name. I guess that I should write this guy’s entire name, but I do not see the point. I am trying to be as sensitive as a man can be as it pertains my question to whom do I think is THE most-oboxious. I did not have to wait for hours to answer. I have met and (tried) to talk to this guy since I was 1984 and even past his demise in 2007, nothing has ever changed.

All I know is that there are SOME folks who, for some reason or purpose, can only feel so cushy and lovable when they are doing all of the talking and listen very little to the people who they are inflicting “that” miserable sound of misery that can only come from NOT being invited by people who “these” people who are weak in

when my wife and I met “this” guy, his wife and three children. We were visiting the church where he worshiped, and I made the huge mistake of saying come by and see us sometime---and friends, I let this statement go by without any discussion. Fact is, I had forgotten that I ever invited him and the family to show-up, but it happened.

From Friday night until daylight Saturday morning and the guy, who was a heavy-hinter, told my wife that (he) would love to be dining by a “real country” breakfast and my wife, who was, and is, a true country cook, fulfilled his every recipe and dish—all of the bacon, flour, coffee and syrup that we had on hand—it was all that we had. And my paycheck did not come until the next Friday, but God is an Everlasting God and we made it until the coming Friday and I haven’t told you the open-insult that the guy said to my wife before they left our home to dine with his mom, who was also an early-riser.

“Hey, “Lowell! Let’s go to my maw maw’s house so we can have a REAL breakfast,” and truthfully, this did it about whatever amount of friendship we had from “Gene,” who did not show any remorse or apology for saying such an ill-fated remark. From that day forward, he would visit (Uninvited) because we found that his wife and kids would not be ready for him to hit the road, so he would visit his relatives, eat with them, stay gone for the wee hours of the morning—and if his wife would ask him about where he was, he would fire-off: “The Man is the Head of The House and what I say goes.” I heard him say this too in our presence and it hit me quickly that this guy, who professed to be a minister, sure did not realize what that scripture really meant.

has been a seriously-presented piece that was and is from some really tension-filled hours that my wife and I should have said (in a civil manner) that “we” were not available for visits for wee hours in the morning and that we do not and cannot produce the foods that he and the family would eat. But we didn’t.

My wife and I did put our “dilemma” to a lot of serious thought, and with each discussion, we would always come up with the answer: Tell “Gene” that the truth of the matter is that we do not go in for his all-night tours and visits with his cousins although they were the very salt of the earth—and no one ever accused them of being uncivil.

But the visits continued and my wife and I knew that we were in a rut and this type of visits were killing is socially. I am going to share with you just ONE of the “visits” that “Gene” and his wife and three children had with us when we had just come home from a camping trip WITHOUT him, the wife and three children.

My wife and daughter were dog tired. The same as me. And we had just finished unloading our car and putting the camping gear away, when we heard the sound of his car and we looked at each other and mouthed the two words, “oh noooo,” and we knew that we shouldn’t show them any discourtesy, but we knew what lie ahead—and we were right.

“Gene” all but asked for supper to be cooked because his first words were, “I am hungry as a bear,” then he winked at me and let-go a fake laugh. Fakery is one thing that I cannot stand. From anyone or anything.

As he and his wife and children and my family and I were sitting down to eat, he started-up about where had we been and did we enjoy the camping trip. I answered him briefly and he said that “he” knew the people who owned the camping site and how the owners of the camping site and him were great friends. He offered these remarks without anyone asking for them.

We finished our meal and we finished the dishes as he sat in our living room and played his guitar. During the ninth-hour, two of our friends drove up. Both of these guys were nice as nice could be and I could tell (by their body language) that they did not feel comfortable with “Gene” and family being there in our home.

Needless to say

the two friends did not stay that long and we knew why. “Gene’s” constant questions which were more like a Third Degree from an Expert Detective got very uncomfortable quickly. It was one question after the other and “Gene’s” wife was very quiet. Good wife training I can only assume and she kept looking at our two friends as if she were trying to signal them that she and her children were not happy with “Gene” or my wife and I in our home.

The two friends told a clean joke, shook our hands and left. Truth be told, I wanted to ride away with them. But “Gene” kept talking and talking and the more he talked, the more uneasy his wife became. Their three kids, although early in age, were at the level of discomfort the mother was feeling.

and we were very happy. “Gene,” his wife, and the three kids loaded up their car and said good-bye about 3 a.m., that Sunday morning. I only stood in our front yard and felt the tension leave our bodies as we walked into our home and I began what I thought, was going to be a quiet discourse in how to Cope with “Gene,” and Other Monsters.

I told my wife that we needed to travel to Santa Fe, N.M., because at this locale, there was an abundance of Rattlesnakes, Gila Monsters, and other pests that roam in the darkness in the New Mexico dessert.

With the Rattlesnakes and Gila Monsters, I told my wife and daughter that we should invite “Gene” to travel with us since he was a good guy to bring along if you liked to talk an endless stream of idiotic things that do appear sane—which were the most of his subjects. I grew weary during the first time we met him because he kept saying, “I know them or I went through there,” and I was about ready to shout, shut-up, but I had been raised by two Christian parents and making “Gene” be offended would not solve the problem.

I posed the situation with my wife and “Gene” and the Rattlesnake being penned by themselves in an escape-proof cage and the winner of this encounter would be the one whom I would try and make the best of our visit.

I wonder if you would like to guess who won?

March 6, 2019________________________________________