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Tips on Online Dating and how to avoid scammers

Updated on March 28, 2015

Handbook For Internet Dating


The advent of the internet dating websites for long term relationship and cross cultural marriages harness the efficacy of the latest electronic technology to exchange emails, do voice and video calls at the comfort of your own home. The flow of instant messages back and forth, the exchange of personal information in the click of a button provide an easier access, route and faster evaluation for searchers desperate to find love, friendship and someone to play games with.

While the inception of international dating websites is geared toward providing an effective, efficient, fastest channel for two people of disparate origins to meet, form a relationship and eventually fell in love, the original intent is now marred with different hues of self serving reasons.

In its infancy international dating websites were imbued with the qualities of being a sanctuary, a Shangrila for eager brides looking for a husband to whisk them off their feet take them to far away kingdom, and make them their anointed Queen .

Today International Dating websites are being slowly transformed into a macabre hide out for perverted men, cunning predatory women on a prowl looking for unsuspecting preys to attach their sharp claws with.

The actual purpose of the creation of International Dating websites is to be the conduit for people from different ethnic backgrounds, races, economic strata, different professions for possible friendship, long term relationship or marriage by exchanging correspondence, in addition to using voice and videocam for more live interaction and one on one communication. the cheapest way.

Just like when you are trying to learn how to drive a car, you must also learn the unwritten rules when navigating the highways of international dating websites, because it will be a bumpy ride ahead. Learn to navigate well, because not all the people you meet on the highway are filled with good intentions.

Learning the Ropes

To be able to get to know someone, open communication channels is very important. Better understanding and in depth knowledge of the language of the person you are trying to get to know with is a must. Rudimentary knowledge in both written and oral language of the prevailing International language being use as the mode of conversing with each other is not enough. How can you expect to possibly be understood by the one you are corresponding and communicating with if you are having a hard time talking to the person in the language that both of you are able to comprehend with?

Be prudent and wise. Communicate in a nice and tactful manner. Try to listen very well what the other person on the other end of the line is saying.

A person's intent is very important barometer to gauge his/ her future plans. Once the webcam is open and the mic is functioning, viewing you and talking with you must come simultaneously, but if he/ she is only intent on your looks and does not make an effort to establish a relevant conversation with you, then turn off your cam and mic right away. The person is no good and just want to have fun at your expense.

Do not count the chicks before the eggs are hatched. When you start navigating the websites, try to imagine you are inside the mall, viewing your favorite brand of shoes, watch or bags. Touch the merchandise, examine the stitching or design carefully and think very hard before you are going to purchase the item you like best.

Do not let your heart rule over your head. Internet dating is different from actual dating. Reserve the intense feeling you felt for the person and only display it once you meet each other for real. It is the only way to confirm or validate what you feel for each other. Do not presume anything after the meeting, Wait until he/ she is back on her turf and see if she/ he will still communicate with you. And observe how long will it go, how far will it go. Do not give your heart right away.

Handbook to Navigate the Highways of International Dating Websites

1. Be wary. Be alert. Be wise. For not every profile you read and every searcher you correspond with is telling the truth. International Dating Websites is a free for all roller coaster ride for every bloke and bitch out there who are carrying different agendas in their minds. There are many fake profiles specifically made to entice gullible searchers. Hence do not accept everything you read, see and hear at face value.

2. Reiterate your request to view the person interested with you or the one you are interested with on videocam. After the videocam is activated, request for him/ her to speak on the mic. It is very important that the person you are going to be corresponding with is the same person you view and talk on cam, and not a proxy. Proxies do exists.

Potential Scammers

The anatomy of potential Scammers is that they will not show themselves on cam, citing many lame excuses, and most of these online dating scammers are from Africa specifically Ghana. Sometimes they get help from someone in Europe, so when they call you on phone, you will see the caller originated from Europe.

Hence it is important you must validate the identity of the person first on cam, no justification for any excuses. Next step is to request the person to send you an electronic mail using yahoo mail, Because on yahoo you maybe able to trace the origin of the country of the sender of the email, by clicking ---view full headers, under action. Once the view full headers information is flash on your screen, copy and paste the information on a website that can trace the origin of the email, search it on the net, there are many websites you may use.

Do not start to put your trust on the one you are corresponding with much less send money, until you will be able to verify his /her identify thru his/ her passport alone, no other ids. Ask the person to have his/ her passport scanned and emailed it on your email address.

3. Do not waste your time on anyone on meaningless chats. Chatting is reserve for internet chatrooms. Exchanging correspondence is the best way to know the person better, which means he/ she is trying to make an effort to really get to know you deeper, but like I said do not treat all the information containing in the email as the gospel truth.

4.. Not every member do post their latest picture, most are airbrushed or photoshopped and was taken ten years ago or beyond. Ask to view the person on cam. No excuse is good enough. Once the cam is on, ask the person nicely to step back, walk a few steps and turn around, who knows you might be corresponding with someone who is partly paralyzed or has a limp, better know what you are getting into than be sorry later.

5. Many male searchers are sexual nomads, meaning they are only in the dating websites for the sexual fun and adventure. These type of males, do not even pause long enough to court the girl properly, or show any interest to form a serious relationship much less get married.

6. Many female searchers are in it for the money, passport and citizenship. Be discerning of the hidden intent. Men old enough to be their grandfathers should be a glare sign that the girl is in it for security and practical reason, never for love by a long shot.

7. Many members are married, but they will say otherwise to gain your trust and confidence. Observe the time when the man is online, is it late in the evening until wee hours of the morning? Probably the wife is already sleeping. After you have meet each other for real and he will refuse to provide you with his personal phone number and postal home address, that should be a stark sign that your man is married and already tied on the post.

8.. Many female members are also married or in a relationship but will tell you otherwise in order to make a fool out of you. Money, passport, citizenship are just some of the major reasons, and they are doing this with the blessing and connivance of their partner.

9. If you think you trusted the girl you met from a dating website and started falling in love with her, but something does not add up or something is bothering you that you cannot seem to define and the feeling refuse to go away, have the girl's cellular phone number tracked with, that especially when you have invested money on her and is entertaining the idea of making her your bride. There are software programs you can search and buy on net that will help you track all incoming and outgoing calls and text messages and you can even monitor on the names and addresses of places she go to.

10. Some males will offer marriage too soon, sounds too good to be true? Watch out. Listen to what your intuition is trying to tell you, he might be looking for an unsuspecting, vulnerable, foolish bride to bring back home, take a life insurance then terminate you when the perfect opportunity presents itself.

11. Many male searchers are partly riddled in debt and some are almost bankrupt. Many do not have their own house purchased and paid for but will tell you otherwise in order to gain your confidence on their financial standing. Be extra careful because there are girls who did fall for this scheme. too late when they found out that all the money spend for her ticket and visa are borrowed from a bank.

12. There are male searchers who are terminally sick with AIDS and other venereal diseases, please be advise to have the man checked first before going to bed with him , that goes for women too.

13. When you reached the stage where you meet each other for real and the feelings are mutual, let the man do the chase. After two years and he does not yet offer marriage, then forget about him, perhaps he is meant only to be your friend.

14.. Sometimes you get a shock because after the man's/ woman's declaration of love you will still see him /her actively surfing on the dating website. You can not prevent your girlfriend or boyfriend from surfing in there, but you may try to ask her/ him to cancel the membership because it hurts you. Who knows either one of you is just waiting for the request to come through. .

14. You cannot hurry love. It will grow in its own pace. It needs to survive the test of time and distance. Follow your heart.

Be true to yourself. Be honest on your dealings even if the fools you meet are liars and braggart. Learn to culture patience and do not let a few defeats pull you down.

Internet Dating is a game of the heart and soul, sometimes you will be lucky and will meet that true gem among the grains of sands, sometimes you will encounter fakes. Learn and smile from your mistakes.


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