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Attraction Gives You Vertigo!

Updated on May 27, 2013

"Come Up and Look At My Etchings"

Attraction rules our world. From bees who do a "lovers dance" and birds who display magnificent plumes, attraction is the "gravity of behavior" or people use the word "magnetism". Ever play with a magnet? See the attraction / repulsion activity that you can put two magnets through? As you push one end (positive) against the partner's end (positive), there will be a movement away from each other. This attraction/repulsion has a set of sayings and descriptions that tell us that this magic is afoot. Looking at etchings up in his apartment has nothing to do with framed art, but it might have something to do with getting framed.

It Is A Testament To Human Hopefulness That We Don't Talk About Repulsion

Preying Mantises, spiders that chomp the head of their partners as orgasm is reached and other assorted tales of primal sexual behavior are entertaining and shocking. A two hour movie could be produced watching what happens to various individuals when "attraction" has ruled the day. From romance to horror, attraction could be said to be a "Force of Deceit".

Obviously you don't go out on a date, and say, "Wow, it's really likely that we will be repelled by each other, in the end!" On a date, of the first or second kind, you could watch a Video and see comments and body language that minute-by-minute portrayed: Mild Interest, Intrigue, Hesitancy, Magnetic interest and More Hesitancy. In the end, you might see outright passion, or disinterest. But the fact is that the BELIEF IN ATTRACTION is what is supposedly guiding the way.

Talking about the evils of alcohol at a Sunday afternoon football party is ridiculous. Telling people who run their lives (what toothbrush to use, what perfume, clothing, car, etc.etc.) through attraction can not be talked out of it. And they should not. It is much too fun to live life through our senses. We are sensate individuals and God made a wonderful world down here for us to explore and fall in love with. But.

What Follows Attraction? Your Time, Your Heart, Your Money, Your Children, Your Fortune - The Essential Elixir

In the beginning, attraction is the wondrous Essential Elixir of which we all sip. However, the Essential Elixir Plays Tricks.

1) Trick # 1 - Attraction Draws you in to make you PAY MORE THAN YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD IN THE BEGINNING. Bobby Darin's song title ends with "If I were a Carpenter, and you were a Lady, would you marry me anyway, would you have my baby?" Pregnancy is the dynamite disclosure, but there are a hundred other payments that we make because attraction has fooled us. As you start making payment here, and payment there, get a little austere and ask yourself if you are getting the value that the haze of attraction tells you you are.

You can hear this lament when people are talking about a relationship in which there seems to be powerful attraction. The loving friend leans into their cohort and says: "Maybe you are paying way more than you thought you were going to. Maybe this strong attraction is too expensive for you."

2) Trick #2 - Attraction gives you Vertigo. You lose your balance. How? Just how attracted to me is he? Is he deceiving me about his level of attraction? Am I really attracted to him, or am I taken up with the newness of the relationship? You get dizzy. Then, to gain your inner mastery, you ask probing questions. Maybe way before you should. Attraction then BECOMES the topic instead of the relationship itself. "Under the Influence" is in our common parlance. Under the influence of attraction is a phrase that people don't use quite as much. "Smitten" is a favorite word:

  • (used in combination) affected by something overwhelming; "conscience-smitten"; "awe-struck"
  • enamored: marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness; "gaga over the rock group's new album"; "he was infatuated with her"

Notice that the dizzyness we get comes from a blow being directed against us. When we go "gaga", and get dizzy from attraction, we have sustained a blow. Thinking of it, in these hard edged ways makes you realize how powerful attraction can be. Like a concussion, the effects of a blow can arise, hours and hours after the first event. You can walk around in a semi-stupor and not know it. Under the powers of attraction, many people are walking around in a kind of stupor.

3) Trick #3 - Attraction is so strong, it propels you forward. It is as if "IT REACHES OUT AND GRABS YOU. ("WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TRED.") The big score is SEX. Everybody knows that. And women, classically are the one who are the arbiters of the use of sex, especially in the beginning. This has been true forever. However, we should avoid the talk of SEX, and talk about the importance of sex. Why? Because of the baggage, the supposed commitments and the complications that the act of sex brings along. Attraction is like putting your feet in the water. And sex is like trying to swim. Which is more dangerous? Well, sex can make you drowned, but attraction is the first big error. Stay away from the water if you are not sure you want to swim. If you go a little slower than you feel you should, just keep on going slower. Ah, but attraction has that propelling forward, that reach out and grab you thing. One young man once told me in counseling: "She just touched me once. You know? It was absolutely all over after that." When I asked him why he was so overwhelmed, he said: "I was just taken with her. I got completely taken in. It wasn't sex, as much as it was having her, just her. I was so attracted, to her eyes. I can't explain it."

Trick #4 - Attraction tells you that is is not there. Before we actually knew about magnetism as a physical property, it was a piece of magical wizardry. We did not know what to call it. We did not know what it did and how it actually is essential in all of nature. But before the modern day, it was just this funny little force that you saw in rocks at a fair. We are actually in a world that is together because of magnetism. But we do not acknowledge it at all. Attraction is always with us, ruling us, cuddling us, nudging us, blowing in our ear, licking our ear, pinching us, beguiling us, blowing past us as little plumes of perfume knock us over, snagging us with a side long glance, lurking there on the curve of a smile and making us sign things we don't want to sign, going to places we would never, becoming enchanted with a thing, a person, a place just because we are. But attraction is not there. Right? Well, it is so ephemeral, so untouchable, so ethereal, and yet, it is more real than an ice pick, a chain saw, or a new life! Watch out for attraction. It has designs on you.

Trick #5 - Attraction says: "I'm only a partier!" After it tells you it's not there, then it can turn around and pretend it's only for fun. It is all superfluous, empty-headed, jolly mirth making. Go to a party at Miami Beach during Spring Break. It's all about the "Bacchanalia". Romans had cool times, where all they did was just have crazy sex and wild drunkenness for a certain time. Then the next morning, they went to the shopping mall. We are very close to Rome in this respect. Moments, places and people congeal like sweet ice around a Popsicle stick. Except for DUIs and alcohol poisoning, many don't seem to think of this as a problem. The Christmas Party is probably where more careers are ruined in a moment, but most don't see how this kind of Exaltation of Attraction does any harm. It may not, as long as it's deceptive qualties don't trick you into doing or committing to things you would not have, had you not gone to the Bacchanalia! This is for the individual to decide. There was one individual I knew 30 years ago who spent six months regretting and apologizing for his activities at one of these "parteeees".

Attraction Can Make You Bleed

When you prick your finger on a rose. You stop. You are standing there in a nice little garden. The white rose gets a drop of red blood on it. You put your finger in your mouth and stem the bleeding. You smile. You see the analogy. The attraction of the rose is still there. God is in his heaven. Beauty is beauty. The wonder of it all splashes around us. We exult in the heavenly splendor that we wake up with every morning.

We say: 1) Attraction makes you pay more than you would. 2) Attraction makes you dizzy. 3) Attraction grabs you and pulls you. 4) Attraction tells you its not there. 5) Attraction says: "Its all for the party!" And, sometimes, 6) Attraction can make you bleed.  Christofer French is an adherent to Synretism - A New Way of Understanding Our Traditions.  He is an ordained minister since the 70's and the Founder of and has a blog on HubPages.

Attraction is of the Stars


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    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 7 years ago

      It is beautiful and all sooo true...I love the losing the balance part. It is actually the hardest to deal with.

      The reason is that one can in time be aware of everything else you mentioned...but the unbalanced part can stay in the form of cannot eat and cannot sleep....clearly a sign that something is the matter.

      We deal with it one way or another. All of it.