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Eight Ways to Fall in Love Again

Updated on May 8, 2011

Real Love is Worth the Effort

1. Make intimate memories in a special place

Once, when I was dating my wife, I took her to a world famous art museum and botanical gardens before the tourists were allowed in. Throughout the grounds were exquisitely beautiful areas with different themes of landscaping and culture with incredible trees and flowers and fountains or sculptures. I took her to each one and instead of taking a picture, I told her different things that I loved about her and in the passion of our romance, we looked around us and then kissed to make a memory album---a kind of magic that would conjure up the feelings we had whenever we revisited the place or saw pictures of the gardens again.

2. Write out romantic notes and leave them in places where they will find them

While you may not choose that method, everyone has memories of times together. One idea is to look for your favorite photos and make some black and white copies of them. Write a red ink love note on each one and put them in places where they will be found.

3. Create something special and find a romantic setting and time to give it to them

Write a poem and read it to them at a special dinner out or when you are in a romantic setting. If you are musical, write a song and sing it to them.

In the hilarious Mike Myers film, So I Married an Axe Murderer, in order to make up with his girl after a misunderstanding, he arranged for a jazz accompaniment outside her window to a love song/poem he composed for her. Needless to say, the boy got the girl.

If you cannot write but you like to cook, fix the special dish that they love and pin a note to it with something like this: "I know this is your favorite and I want you to know that you are mine."

4. Never underestimate the power of a loving touch or hug

When you first met you couldn't keep your hands off of each other, but as time goes by, distance grows and routine often crowds out tenderness and passion.

In Texas, I grew up in a family that was loving and with most Texans, especially the women, there was a lot of kissing, hugging and sweet expressions. As I grew older and moved to California, I noticed people were more formal and less intimate. Luckily for me and my family in the West, I had a good friend named Jim who when he saw you, opened his arms and with a huge Teddy Roosevelt grin and twinkle in his eyes, gave you the biggest, warmest hug you'd ever had. It's easier than you think to extend yourself and the rewards are immediate.

The one you love needs to feel the warmth and tenderness not only in your words, but in the way you caress, the way you hold them close and the way you kiss. If you find yourself hugging and caressing the cat or dog more than your loved one, it's time to change your priorities and your habits.

Try putting on some romantic music and dancing your way to intimacy. In the kitchen, make up words to go with your situation...."A pinch of that, a cup of this, and pretty soon, you need a kiss, help her with stirrin', you'll both be purrin'--you're makin' cookies" (To the tune of Making Whoopee). Just saying out loud the lyrics of Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love or The Pointer Sisters' Jump for my Love or anything Barry White is a fun way to intimacy.

5. Send your sweetheart a compliment through a friend or colleague

One of the most gratifying of compliments is when a friend relates something nice or loving your love has said about you. A love message dropped in casual conversation has a tremendous impact. The things you do and say every day to build up your loved one, either in person or by word of mouth, creates a wonderful foundation and atmosphere for love.

6. Smile at them

When you first fell in love, you couldn't get that silly grin off your face. Everyone could see just by looking at you that you were in love. Now, if your love asks if you are not feeling well, it might be you are letting the stresses of your day show on your face rather than the love you feel. Try making a scrapbook or drawer of photos or mementos or cards or notes from them. Jot down incidents when the two of you had a great laugh together and refer to the box or book regularly to put that smile back where it belongs.

The requests are not only to please the one you love but to find out more of what they like.
The requests are not only to please the one you love but to find out more of what they like.

7. Find ways to know more about them and the things they like

You couldn't stop talking and asking all sorts of questions when you first met, but lately, you stopped asking. I can assure you, it will take a lifetime to find out everything, so keep asking.
Write out "Getting to know you" questions (which are easily found online) and put them in a bowl on the kitchen table. During a meal take turns drawing one and asking your love the question. Later, write a love note that refers to what you learned and leave it for her the next day.

Another way to grow closer is to have a jar or box for each of you and fill it with requests. His container would have things he would like for her to do for him and hers would be filled with requests she would like for him to fulfill for her. Each of you can choose one from the other's jar whenever it is appropriate. The requests should be reasonable and easily performed. As you perform the task or request, take note that this is a way not only to please the one you love, but to find out more of what they like.

8. Hide small gifts where they can find them during the day

No one can resist a gift, especially when it's hidden like a treasure. Use the request boxes above to find out the things they like and buy gifts you know will please them and hide them with a string leading to them or notes with clues directing them to the hiding place.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~ Leo Buscaglia

©Winsome Publishing 2010, All rights reserved.


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    • Winsome profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      You are welcome Sunshiney31, I agree that it's easy to forget, but even if we don't forget, sometimes we hold back when things aren't as intimate as we'd like when that is the exact time we should do it. I mean what if we wait so long there is no flame to fan? Thank you for your comment.

    • Sunshiney31 profile image


      8 years ago

      I love your ideas. I've been married for almost 15 years and these little things are easy to forget.Thank you so much for reminding me.

    • Winsome profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      Like Micky I think you are a true romantic Janny. Thank you for your kind words and for visiting.

    • JannyC profile image


      8 years ago

      Its the simplest things we can do to show our love. Loved this.

    • Winsome profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      Ha Ha -- you don't fool me you romantic you.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      I'd say it needs a tune-up and check the debris in the fuel line! Yep! Oh wait- that was your other hub. I'll get back to you!

    • Winsome profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      My pleasure QM. Yes there is much to say and much more to learn. Thank you for visiting and may love be with you in your "Quietest Moments." =:)

    • profile image

      Quietest Moments 

      8 years ago

      So much to say with regards to this thing called love, isn't there.. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts with regards. Thank you for sharing. :-)

    • Winsome profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      Thank you AEvans for the warm sentiments. Hugs and treasure hunt memories to you. =:)

    • AEvans profile image


      8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Lovely ideas I am a huggy person myself I hug everyone my husband has gotten quite used to it while his afmily was a little stiff ours was very affectionate, however he has written me a poem and we have hidden things and gone on a treasure hunt in our home. I love the times when we make memories. Thank you for another wonderful hub! :)

    • Winsome profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      It's a great feeling when after you offer your heart to another, you get it back in better condition than when you lent it. =:) Thank you for your encouragement.

    • missmaudie profile image


      8 years ago from Brittany, France

      Great hub - strange how families are differend isn't it. My family is very touchy feely but my husbands family are totally different. He's probably kissed my mum more than his own! Keep writing please!

    • theblackedition profile image

      Shane Brown-Daniels 

      8 years ago from USA

      hahah, balance eh? That's cool.

    • Winsome profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      Thanks BE, and now that even the guys are calling it sweet, I better work on my Monster Truck page and hang out with Ghost32 and learn more about building earth-bag houses for a while. =:)

    • theblackedition profile image

      Shane Brown-Daniels 

      8 years ago from USA

      Hey Winsome, so this was the hub I promised to look out for, and it is well worth the wait. So simple, creative and sweet. Now I can fill my idea bag with some more great tips. I look forward to more! Kudos :)

    • Winsome profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      Madison, out of the blue is the greatest, and the more of those we can plan, the better. =:)

    • Madison22 profile image


      8 years ago from NYC

      Winsome, this is a very sweet hub. Funny, last night out of the blue my husband comes in the bedroom while I'm watching tv and tells me "thanks for a great dinner, you are a good wife and mom" Well, I was beyond myself...LOL. It was totally unexpected and it made me feel good. You have great tips, thank you for sharing!

    • Winsome profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      Thank you MOW for your comments and sensitivity. Hugs and smiles to you. =:)

      Sage, you are gracious as always. Congratulations on your nomination--you got my vote immediately!

      Thank you yenajeon. Love is my favorite topic. =:)

      Frieda, I'd be honored. Thank you for your kind words.

    • Frieda Babbley profile image

      Frieda Babbley 

      8 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

      These tips are fabulous. Great quotes. If it's allright with you, I'm going to link this to a hub I wrote for Love it.

    • yenajeon profile image

      Yena Williams 

      8 years ago from California

      This is super cute with awesome ideas! Mucho thumbs up on this one!

    • Sage Williams profile image

      Sage Williams 

      8 years ago

      Winsome - Excellent job! I really, really enjoyed this hub. Your writing absolutely astounds me.

      Congratulations to you for working on publishing your own book, "How to Have the Best Day of Your Life Everyday." Please keep us posted as to the publishing. I would love to buy this one.

      Thanks so much,


    • myownworld profile image


      8 years ago from uk

      Such a wonderful hub...and i loved your unique little ideas about showing love to someone special in your life. And yes, for me, a touch and a smile....and the right look a million times more important than words! Thank you for this..! :)


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