- Gender and Relationships
I'm 47 and single again!
Here I go again!
Well ten months ago I walked away from a 20 year marriage, 20 years older and 3 kids raised and 2 teenagers left at home. What in the world was I thinking? I was supposed to be married the second time for life and be content with it. What changed in me to make me walk away? What changes had I acquired in my forties? Changes I never dreamed happening in my thirties that's for sure.
The changes ladies were euphoria! I know strong word right? Think about what I am about to say and compare. Ready here we go. I got a high from knowing I wouldn't have to answer to my husband about anything from this point on, and I wouldn't have to put my wishes and desires second to his. I wouldn't have to clean up his messes around the house and for that matter outside of our home either. I had taken my life (the bull by the horns) and was in control once and for all. Let's not talk about the sex part of it ladies. "Wham Bam thank you maam" does that sound familiar? It sure did for me. Being woke up in the middle of the night for ones self gratification was not romantic to me. Like I said euphoria. That warming feeling that takes over the body and mind and last for only a short time, but what a hell of a feeling.
Okay guys in no way am I bashing you! Please hear me out I love men! I'm saying it again I love men, but there are a few of you out there that are toxic to the female population. Toxic! Sorry ladies there are a few of us that are toxic to men it is just a fact, but this is not what I am writing about. I am writing about the changes that happen in life with age, society and other factors that encourage one to make life altering changes. Male or female. It is about being able to read someones words and get comfort from them and insight to make a situation better. That is my hope for sharing my life to all of you.
Being single is nothing new to me yes it has been quite awhile since the last time and I was very young 25 and had 3 small children, and now look at me baby 47 with a 15 year old and a 18 year old. Why is this time different? Well the confidence level is higher, educational level is much higher and financial security better to say the least (oh might I say not because of taking my ex to the cleaners) it is only my income. Why is this time different for better or worse, younger or older?
When you are younger you are vibrant, invincible and you know you can get a date and are not a total loss in the dating world. You can drink more, and guys are beating down your door to buy those drinks for you and let's face guys want the younger gals. You can possibly start over and have more children many more possibilities so you think. When you are older and clearly this is my opinion your body is not quite the same after a few kids, your looks aren't quite the same either, but what is better about being the 47 year old and single again is far more valuable. I have the confidence knowing I will be okay on my own, I don't have to be dependent on someone else to survive, if I choose to go out I can buy my own darn drinks and my own dinner and maybe my dates too. I also know that I don't have to be so consumed about my looks either because I know I am a vibrantly beautiful, sexy older woman with self worth that I have earned throughout my life. That confidence you can't find in a bottle.
When I left my marriage I had already gone through the stages necessary to heal myself to make the break and move on and enter back into the dating world, and that is exactly what I did. The only difference this time around was there was online dating, women's night at local establishments, and unlimited ways to meet and greet the opposite sex. Yahoo. Like a child in a candy store but better! I registered on some of the websites, and sorry but I am not listing any names or opinion except this: Not my cup of tea due to the fact the guys can look like anything, bald, fat and old have no education and they all say the same: would like educated woman with athletic and toned body with good job. Hello what the heck, and don't get me wrong the woman's criteria reads: descent, athletic, educated and secure job and under their breath saying please God be a good looking guy. This is unreal to me, so what I did is realize I need to stay in the network I had been creating for the past 3 years with my job. You can say I was in public relations and therefore I had already crossed paths with very nice people that I felt I knew I could trust. I created my own dating arena without even realizing it, how great is that for someone leaving a 20 year marriage. I took the importance of finding someone and turned it into just living and talking to people I mean really talking to people. Lo and behold that special someone walked into my office and we talked a very long time like we were old friends. Don't get me wrong I knew this person for some time, but when you are married you just don't look at the opposite sex the same way, let alone talk and get personal. That was all it took to open a door that I thought was going to have to be pried open with a crowbar. HA
With my new confidence in hand I did something I never thought I would do, I asked this person out for coffee and it was liberating and he said yes!!!!!! Ladies and gentleman here I go again!