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The Five Love Languages as a Communication Tool in Relationships

Updated on July 28, 2017
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The important thing to a successful love relationship is to have clear communication with your partner. But how can you build clear communication? Communication is a two-way technique of conveying and interpreting meaning through language. Like spoken and written language, emotions are also part of these language forms. Couples must understand their partner's emotions in an effort to establish clear communication. Nevertheless, the key is not only through understanding emotions but being able to show what each partner wants to experience in the relationship. It truly is uncommon that partners share the same emotional language, hence it is important to understand exactly what are these "emotional languages". In the book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman explains the five love languages as a powerful tool that couples can use to show and experience love. Over the years, as couples become more acquainted with their partner's love languages, the relationship can change considerably resulting in success and more contentment.

"I feel blessed to have you in my life."

Words of Affirmation. Your partner owns this love language when he or she finds comfort in the loving words that you express. Simple words of compliment or assurances are enough to make your partner feel much loved. Remember that your partner feels more valued and appreciated when he or she relies heavily on verbal confirmation like “I love you” and other positive phrases. If Words of Affirmation is your partner's dominant love language, it is better to be more vocal in expressing your feelings towards your beloved.

"I can spend my lifetime being with you."

Quality Time. When all your partner needs to feel loved is by simply being there for him or her. It is not about the length of time spent together but the quality on how you spend your time being together. Spending quality time does not equate to sitting together in front of the TV or traveling together to a romantic place. Whatever you do or wherever you go, quality time means giving your undivided and focused attention towards your partner regardless if it is a simple or grandiose time spent together.


"It's the thought that counts."

Receiving Gifts. This love language means that any small item is enough to make your partner feel special and cared for. However, it is the thought behind the gift and not the material value of the gift that counts more. If your partner shares this love language, the feeling of being well-remembered is priceless. What is more important is the effort and the thought put into securing and giving the gift no matter how much its value may be.

"Well done is better than well said."

Action speaks louder than words echo this next love language. For a person whose primary love language is Acts of Service, doing simple gestures for him or her speaks much volume be it cooking of the meal, washing the dishes, or mowing of lawn. Telling your partner that you care does not create a heavy impact, rather you have to show that you care by doing things with effort and careful attention. These are acts that for your partner symbolize strong expressions of love and devotion.

"I love it when you wrap your arms around me."

To your partner whose principal love language is Physical Touch, not understanding this critical love language can make or break your relationship. Touches can be explicit or implicit. Lovemaking as an example of an explicit love act is merely an element of this love language. This kind of love language also includes implicit touches like a pat, kiss on the forehead, or holding of hands. These implicit variations, though requiring only short moments, create an emotional closeness and build intimacy. Physical Touch is a very hands-on experience of showing love to your spouse. Are you touchy-feely?

Are you ready for a new spark in your relationship?

This kind of ability to realize, speak, and express your partner's love language is one step to establishing clear communication in a romantic relationship. Identifying how your spouse likes to receive love and showing to your partner that kind of affection is crucial. By simply understanding the five love languages, effective communication is built and so paving the way for a more intimate, happy, and stable commitment.


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