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- Relationship Problems & Advice
There is a fact we must realize as soon as possible and it is that in every relationship in life there is bound to be friction that produces offenses.Misunderstandings,misrepresentation and misconception about the other person will come and this usually leads to hurts.This hurts in turn bring about anger,resentment and bitterness which go on to result in broken relationships. If such negative feelings are not dealt with quickly they can affect the flow of virtue from GOD into our lives.
You do not need to pretend that all is well and then produce a cosmetic smile and casual relationship.I am sure that the moment the flow of love between you and some else breaks,you know.You may not be able to put your finger on the immediate cause of it but you will need to discover it in order for the relationship to be restored.
In Matthew 18:7 Jesus said,''woe unto the world because of offences,for it must needs be that offences come...'' If Jesus could say it is inevitable that offences should come, it means that we must prepare our hearts before they come so that we are not devastated by their effect.
There is always the possibility that fellow brothers,sisters,parents or close relations etc. will offend us.There should always be a provision for forgiveness.The offense may be mild or grievous (the type for which you usually say that things can never be the same again) there should still be room for forgiveness. We must realize that there is nobody who could ever offend us to the extent to which we have offended GOD.How many times have we broken GOD'S heart through our disobedience and inconsistency in our walk with HIM. If GOD were to deal with us after our iniquity no one could stand.As humans we offend him and He forgives us.Do we realize that GOD has feelings too? Forgiveness is not a strange phenomenon to all of us.
An eye for an eye leads to blindness
GOD says we should not pay back evil for evil but because we are human there is the tendency to inflict pain in return.I have heard some people say, '' I will pay you back in your own coin.'' That means they will inflict much pain on the offender as they had felt when offended.
In 2004, I heard of a girl who was rushed to the hospital because her mother's enemy poured acid on her. Before she died, she said that she has forgiven the woman who splashed acid on her body. Wow! that is a true child of GOD.
One of the reason why paying back evil for evil is not always right is because we can never give a corresponding measure to the offender. You will either over pay or underpay. It is only GOD who can pay accurately. HE knows the exact measure.
Doing good to those that offend us is not easy. All we need is to ask GOD for the grace to do it.It is for our own good because unforgiveness has damaging health effects on our body. It can lead to diseases. We have been created in such a way that whatever we think will affect our entire physiology.One result of not forgiving is bitterness. This dangerous emotion - if allowed, can destroy our joy and drain life out of us. The person we are bitter towards will not feel the pain we are carrying around.
I do not find it easy to forgive but when I let loose and let go the offender in my mind, I feel a sense of joy and relief. I am not perfect or holier than thou.
In conclusion, seek GOD for the ability to forgive the person so that your prayer and mine will be answered.Peace!
Learning To Forgive
Are You Ready to Let Go !
Will you forgive a bossom friend who seeks your downfall?
Forgiveness is by grace
Apostle Peter did not ask Jesus Christ the kind of offence his neighbour commits but he asked for the frequency of the offence and not the gravity of it.This is because every sin weigh the same so we must all try to make room for pardon at all times.
What if the offender does not apologize? We are encouraged to forgive all the same.Jesus Christ begged GOD to forgive us when HE was been crucified in Luke 23. This means when the offender offends us more often it is engineered by the devil.That is why we must look beyond the offender and forgive with all our heart.It is not easy because you are hurt.
Remember this, forgiveness is not natural. it is divine and GOD has endowed us with divine abilities to do what is unnatural quite naturally.We should all yield to the Holy Spirit.
The effect of forgiveness on your health
Forgiving a person has its health benefits. Do you know that the opposite of forgiveness is un -forgiveness. Which literally means that you are filled with bitterness and hatred and the consequences of these emotions can have negative effects on your health. Medical research has proven that the cause of an illness can be traced to negative thinking and wrong emotions.
Most patients in the hospital are sick but there is no doubt that their illness is due to some underlying unpleasant emotion which could have been overlooked. Not forgiving a person can lead to disease, psychosomatic disorders, tension effect and discomfort on the body.
When you forgive, a big weight is lifted from your heart and you have the inflow of the Holy Spirit. Creative ideas come into the mind. If you choose not to forgives, tension builds up when you face the offender, negative feelings transpire and this can lead to disaster.