Incorporate Me Deeper Into Your Heart: 4 Wonderful Bible Verses to Help You Have a Healthy Relationship

Adwoa Pinamang is a devoted Christian woman who has been married for three years, but whose marriage is not as strong as she hoped it would be.

“We used to be very close when we first got married. However, we are growing apart and that bothers me. My husband does not show consideration anymore. He acts coldly towards me and that hurts me a lot. We have fights often and I say things which I regret later. I do not enjoy the marriage anymore. I spend a lot of time with my girlfriends nowadays. However, most of them are not committed to their marriages: they are cheating and they want me to join them. I do not like the kind of things they say when I go there. I want to fight for my marriage and make it work. What can I do to make my husband incorporate me into his heart again so that we can have a healthy relationship again. I know God’s word is powerful and I want to know which Bible verses that can help us to create a healthy relationship again.”

If you are in a similar situation or your story is the same, here are some Bible verses that can help you to have a great relationship.

Let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33).

You will never do anything to intentionally hurt yourself, and you must consciously and mindfully exhibit that same attitude when you are dealing with your wife.

The husband can love his wife by being faithful to her. Love her by choosing to make compromises when you have disagreements instead of insisting your opinions are right and so she should see things from your point of view only. Love her by choosing never to bring up things she has done to hurt you in the past when you quarrel. Love her by learning how to cook and cooking her favorite meal for her on evenings when she comes home tired from work. Love her by cracking jokes to make her feel better when you see that she is depressed or worried about something. Love her by choosing to listen to her instead of waving her off and continuing to watch the Chicago Bulls when she wants to have a conversation. Loving your wife will make it easier for her to show love to you too so that you can keep the love bond strong.

The second part of that verse instructs wives to respect their husbands. A wife can show respect to her husband by listening before she talks when her husband has concerns that he wants addressed. Respect your husband by sharing what is good about him with your friends when you have conversations and not what he does to hurt you. Respect your husband by avoiding calling him names when you are angry with him. Respect your husband by choosing to talk when you have disagreements instead of giving him the silent treatment.

When a husband loves his wife, and a wife respects her husband, trust is maintained and so conflicts do not occur often. Additionally, goodwill towards the other spouse is always strong, camaraderie is strengthened, communication is enhanced, and peace prevails in the home and that can make both husband and wife feel happy all the time.

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18).

The Pulpit Commentary on this verse at Biblehub adds that speaking thoughtlessly and senselessly wounds the soul. Some spouses who claim to love their better-halves conveniently forget that they promised to cherish and adore their spouses when their spouse offends them, and they give him or her a piece of their mind without considering that what they say may hurt their spouse emotionally. That can make your spouse feel bitter and he may choose to revenge to show you that he is not a “doormat.” That will only create tension and division in the marriage and the foundations of the relationship will become weak as a result.

When you are annoyed and you can’t say something conciliatory, take in a deep breath, close your eyes and remind yourself of the many times you have offended the LORD.

And then say a silent prayer and ask the LORD to make the Holy Spirit comfort your spirit and bring healing to your soul. The Holy Spirit will speak to you just as He spoke to Peter in Acts 10:19.

Listen to the Holy Spirit speak to you and obey His voice. It will help you to cool down and as you continue to pray, the Holy Spirit will take absolute control of your mind and your heart and placatory thoughts will come into your mind.

Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. (Romans 12:17).

Some spouses make it a habit never to let an unkind deed by a spouse go without revenge. “Because you did not take me out last weekend, I will not allow you to make love to me,” a wife may say. “Because you did not allow me to make love to you, I will not accompany you to that party and I am going to play golf no matter what you say!” a husband may shout at his wife.

“Because you did not come home early and I had to sit down and wait for you, I will make you wait for two extra hours tomorrow night,” another wife may say.

Repaying evil with evil will only create confusion which will breed disharmony and weaken the love connection between the two of you.

The verse instructs you to “take thought for what is noble.” Think about the good things your spouse has done for you in the past. Think about the care he gave to you when you were sick. Think about the grant she gave to you when you were in University and you needed some financial help to help you make it through college. Think about the many times he or she has made you experience pleasure in bed and the stress that relieved. Fill your mind with these things when your spouse hurts you and focus on them instead of concentrating on what he did wrong. It will make it easier for you to continue having goodwill towards him.

Incline not my heart to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity; and let me not eat of their dainties. (Psalm 141:4).

Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible adds that the psalmist did not desire to partake with sinners at their table (imagery for spending time with them) but rather chose a coarser meal (imagery for avoiding the company of people who may tempt you to do wrong).

Many a husband or wife used to be an innocent soul before marriage and had no thought whatsoever of ever cheating on his or her spouse, until he or she met people who said things to them, or who did things with them, that influenced them and made them cheat on their spouses (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Acquaintances, friends, or work colleagues, who do not fear the LORD and who may be cheating themselves, may share stories about their escapades or make suggestions which may weaken your determination to remain true to your marriage vows, especially when you are having challenges in the marriage.

The second part of this verse advises you to shun the company of men or women who will encourage you to break your marriage vows, or who will entice you to cheat on your wife or your husband.

So be very circumspect about whom you choose as a friend after you marry, and whom you spend your time with. Choose to spend most of your time with brothers and sisters in the faith who are seriously committed to their marriages and learn from them and you will remain committed to keeping the vows you made before the LORD.

If your spouse or partner suggests, “Incorporate me deeper into your heart,” Ephesians 5:33, Proverbs 12:18, Psalm 141:4, and Romans 12:17 can all help you to create a healthy relationship.