Infidelity: How to regain the trust after its broken in a marriage.
#3 of the 30/30 challenge. How do you trust in a marriage, after infidelity?
How can you trust your spouse after learning that they've been unfaithful?
How can you look at that person in the eye, and believe what they are saying?
How do you trust your significant other, after your trust is broken?
So, how do you? Or do you even try?
There are too many questions that arise when a marriage has been tested by something as strange, and wrong as infidelity. Not only are couples at odds, but in reality, nothing is ever the same after this problem surfaces. How can couples get through this? and, is it even possible?
It takes a lot of time, and work from BOTH people in the marriage to work through a problem such as this one. For one, after dealing with the problem of infidelity, couples have to be brutally honest with each other when telling one another how they feel, and why they feel the way that they do.
Infidelity doesn't just come out of nowhere. It has a root. It has a way of starting when couples are fighting, or there is an unspoken problem between the two people, but no one is willing to talk or work on their problems.
There is only one way to deal with infidelity, and that is to face the problem head on, and to take responsibility for what has happened.
- Take full responsibility for what has happened. Your spouse doesn't need to hear that you will never do it again. In their minds, everything that is being said means nothing, but YOU HAVE TO TRY. Don't try to put the blame on the other person, just be honest, and show the remorse, this means more to them even if they do not feel it at the moment.
- Do try to see the problem from your spouses point of view, and do things that you know will help the situation. After infidelity, marriages suffer a horrible blow. For one, trust is broken, and both people in the relationship try their hardest to forget about what has happened. This however, doesn't work. the problem with infidelity is that it doesn't involve just TWO people, but THREE. Reassure your partner that the third person is COMPLETELY out of the picture.
- Be as open as possibly about the problem. The one thing that can ruin a marriage completely after infidelity is Lies. Once the problem is out in the open, do not try to cover up how it got started. Tell your spouse everything. Answer any and ALL questions that they may have. Check how they are feeling. Do not try to minimize their emotions. Support them, and be patient until they are ready to hear you.
- Be Open and honest with each other. So, forget about privacy after infidelity. Even though couples do deserve some time apart, after infidelity, privacy shouldn't be brought up. Couples need to be open, and honest with each other. Do not hide anything from each other. No lies, no matter how small. When couples are trying to regain trust in each other, its important to tell each other everything. From how they are feeling, to why they feel the way that they do.
- Know that your partner will need a lot of reassuring. This is normal when couples are trying to get back their trust. Do not be afraid to constantly reassure your partner that they have nothing to fear. Or tell your partner what you are doing. Answer your phone when your spouse calls you, and make sure you leave your phone alone when you are with your family.