Relationships and Cheating : Infidelity and Deception.

Finding out about infidelity or deception in a relationship can cause a lot of issues between couples. Some people choose to give their significant other a second chance (or third depending on the person and level of masochism) and others choose to make a clean break and start over. Most of the time, it's not even the cheating that causes the most pain, it's the thought that you've been lied to and made to look like a fool. Pride plays a large part in whether a partner will remain in a relationship where one or the other has cheated. In most cases, Men and Women cheat because of a lack of interest in their own relationships. Some excuses range from completely shallow to even vengeful. It's common knowledge that you can't stop people from straying. All you can really do is hope that your significant other cares enough about your feelings and not cheat. From my own personal experience with an adulterous partner, as humans, we automatically think "What could I have done differently? Did he/she not find me attractive anymore? Was I not enough?" The honest truth is that cheating generally has nothing to do with the person being cheated on and everything to do with the mental state of the adulterer.

Emotional, Physical, and everything in between... Most people have their own definition of what they would consider cheating. Cheating in a committed relationship can occur in many different forms with varying degrees of damage. Sometimes you fall in love with somebody else. Other times the thrill of the chase can be too hard to resist. Cheating on a spouse or significant other can signal the end of a relationship but it doesn't always have to.

Physical Infidelity

Physical infidelity is the most common and obvious form of betrayal. Everything from flirting to kissing and finally intercourse falls under this category. Some people will try to convince themselves that if sex did not occur then it can't be considered cheating. Know that physical infidelity is usually a one-time thing, not to say that it cant be something long-term as is usually the issue. Most relationships can survive from one-time infidelity, now long term is a whole different ballgame. My stance is, If you feel guilty about whatever scenario happened, then you should probably re-evaluate what you consider cheating because you probably already have.

Emotional Infidelity

Emotional infidelity happens when one part of a couple begins to have a non-physical relationship with another person other than their significant other. Sometimes this form of cheating is worse than physical. Why? Because this person is now sharing thoughts and intimate details about themselves with somebody other than their partner. Eventually, feelings of friendship grow into feelings of love. And when that happens, their thoughts are consumed with this other person and that could then lead to a physical relationship. Some people agree that emotional cheating is far worse than physical, mainly because if you fall in love with someone other than the person you are currently in a relationship with, then you can't willingly stay in that situation. If you do, the likelihood is there would be a lot of new insecurities that would plague the relationship.

Virtual Infidelity

Who hasn't heard about all these politicians and celebrities cheating on their spouses and significant others through social networking sites? Dating sites, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. Virtual cheating can mean anything from contacting old flames and rekindling a romance to even meeting new people and starting romantic relationships with them. The possibilities are endless on the internet and now with platforms like onlyFans, access to pornographic material had become easier for the masses.

1. Because they can.

Why not cheat on a significant other if there wasn't a chance of them finding out? and really, who is there to stop them? There is a saying that goes " Humans aren't meant to be monogamous". To a certain degree, yes that might be true. If you look at it in a scientific way, yes humans were meant to fulfill certain biological needs. Procreation is the end goal. Men were supposed to sow their wild oats in as many women as possible to ensure the success of the species. Ok, maybe that's a little much but you get the point. Monogamy might not have been introduced until religions made it a thing. Even then some of them advocate for more than one partner! Humans have romanticized the idea of monogamy as a special "one true love "kind of thing when in reality it might not be entirely feasible for everyone. Polyamory is a thing and many people find themselves in fulfilling relationships in these particular situations. Again, it's not for everyone. One partner can't be polyamorous while the other is not.

At the end of the day, people have free will, and if they choose to step out on their partner, it's because they chose to.

2. Makes them feel wanted.

The idea that you could be in a relationship for such a long time and still be able to catch the attention of other potential love interests is invigorating. And if you just happen to catch their number or become intimate, that's just a bigger ego boost. During the course of a relationship, even when certain wants and needs are met, there is always the thought of a "What if?" scenario. We begin to fantasize about what life could be like with someone else or if being alone might be a better option. Being with the same person for years could end up making people too comfortable in their relationships and they lose the spark that they once had. This issue can lead to trying to find that spark in other places.

3. You grow apart.

If you've been with a significant other for a long time, things can get stale. Work, children, and your lives, in general, get in the way of what once used to be a vibrant happy relationship. It's actually kind of unavoidable. People aren't the same person they used to be 5 or 10 years before. Times change and so does your relationship. You can either grow with your partner or stay behind.

4. You argue a lot.

You begin to realize that certain things about your partner are beginning to annoy you. You pick fights over minuscule things and they become huge blown out of proportion fights that you don't even know how they began. Eventually, you become sick of them and look for a way out.

5. They have fallen out of love.

This is probably the most difficult thing to hear from a significant other. There isn't much you can do about it but move on, especially if there was cheating involved.

6. Unhappiness in the relationship.

If this is the case, then you probably shouldn't be with this person anymore. Or you can find a new way to communicate your displeasure. Cheating isn't the answer, but it has been used as a way to get out of relationships where partners feel trapped and want an easy way out.

7. Financial hardship

Something people don't realize is the importance of financial stability in a relationship. Money can play a real part in how a relationship works and how long it lasts. Money can be a deal-breaker and could be a reason why a fed-up partner might cheat.

Most people stay in relationships even after a significant other has cheated. It all boils down to what they consider cheating. I have seen many a relationship where someone cheated and even though their significant other was angry, they took them back. Sometimes this works out; sometimes it turns into a disaster. It requires two to tango, and when it comes to cheating the only person at fault is the one causing pain to their significant others. Many men and women who have been victims of their partner's infidelities feel that they might be at fault or that they may be the reason why the infidelity occurred. That's simply not the case. People will do as they wish. It is how we deal with it that determines the outcome of how we handle our pain and move forward.