- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Insecure Women- No Way, Man! Men Want Women Who are Secure, Independent, and Self-Confident!
Men Finding Insecure Women Attractive-What Planet Are You On?
Oh no I definitely feel another Hub coming on!!! To answer a question of a sister hubber who stated that men find insecure women more attractive, I would say, "Woman, please get a grip on reality!" Intelligent, mature, and aware men definitely do not find insecure women more attractive. In fact, they find them annoying and nuisances to say the least. Intelligent, mature, and aware men want women who are strong, self-assured, independent, and intelligent. These attributes clearly do not describe women who are insecure!
Women who are insecure are usually doormats, martyrs, whiners, and patsies. They are not attractive. People want to avoid this type of woman like the plague. They are also needy people who constantly need outside reassurance. Insecure women are often people pleasers who are looking for approval. God help us if she asks a question and you elect to disagree with you. Oh no, she would melt and start to badger you with how could you said this and/or that. A worse scenario is that this poor woman would crumble and/or start to acquiesce to your way of thinking.
Insecure women simply do not possess any BACKBONE. They do not know the meaning of the word. They have no sense of themselves. They usually sublimate their identity to whothey are with at that particular moment or period . The intelligent, mature, and self-assured man views the insecure woman as an albatross and no right thinking man wants an albatross to drag him down.
Insecure women typically have very low to no self-esteem. They do not deem themselves worthy. They believe that they are subordinate to everything and everyone else. They further contend that nothing they do are of value. They often project their worthlessness unto their relationships and in other spheres in their lives.
Insecure women are often extremely dependent They need a stronger, more dominant person for support whether it is financial and/or emotional. They are risk aversive and are deeply afraid to use their own initiative and venture out to curve their own identities. Even though a few insecure women work, it is often at jobs that are not high powered. They are more comfortable in roles as followers than as leaders. They do not have the self-confidence required to be leaders of any kind.
Insecure women often come from backgrounds which women are inundated to be passive and subordinate partners. They are taught that "feminine women" and "nice girls" do not display aggressive tendencies. They are further taught to be neither to be independent nor assertive because "men will be threatened by this." They are taught that girls should be as dismissive as possible.
They are further taught not to have a sense of self and that others, especially men, are more important than they are. They are also inundated as not to express their opinions but to agree with the majority consensus whether is family, racial/ethnic, socioeconomic, and/or religious culture. In other words, they are taught to be conforming nice girls who do not rock the boat.
Many insecure women come from authoritarian households where they were taught to be obedient and not to question authority. Studies show that children raised in authoritarian homes are not taught to be self-assertive and to express their own needs. They are taught to submit to the wishes and follow the dictum of the more dominant party, the parent. As a result, they usually have low self-esteem because they were taught that their opinions, needs, and desires were subordinate to that of the parent. They also are afraid to assert themselves and to take risks. They become passive recipients in life and feel worthless. These characteristics aptly describe the insecure woman.
There are other types of insecure women who are attention seekers and prima donnas. These women are more assertive than her quintessentially submissive counterpart. However, the attention seeker and prima donna are also insecure in their own way. They would resort to any means to have people adore them.
These women thrive on adulation and if they do not receive any type of attention, whether it is positive or negative, they become unhappy. There are some insecure women that can be classified as narcissists. They are attention addicts and believe that they must be the center of attention 24/7. They often exhibit exaggerated self-importance to mask their sense of worthlessness and believing themselves to be insignificant.
There is no such thing as being in an equal relationship with an insecure woman. The male in the relationship is always the dominant partner. He carries the majority of the weight and responsibility. The situation is even worse if a man is married and/or is in a committed relationship with such a person. He does almost everything as she feels that she is incapable or not suited to face the rigors of the world. This woman further believes that it is the man's job to handle the more undesirable aspects of life and to make things as easy as possible for her. She believes that she should worry "her pretty little head" over life's travails. She believes that she should be taken care of because she is the woman, the fragile gender.
However, there are some men who DO find insecure woman attractive. These men thrive on women being submissive and are often threatened by a more self-assured and independent woman. There are men who want to hold the reins in their relationships to say the least. They are very comfortable with women who are meek and dependent upon their very being. They believe that this type of woman is their ideal feminine woman and that the self-assured, independent woman is a dominating and castrating !#%$&*%$! In other words, an insecure woman is perceived to be more easily dominated than a strong, self-assured, independent woman who would tell this type of man to &*%$#@ off.
In summation, the intelligent, self-confident, and mature men wants a woman who is self-sufficient financially and emotionally. He wants a woman who can equally spar with him and do not suffer fools gladly. With an independent woman, a man is not shouldered with the most responsibilities. He has a woman to share his life with, not a frightened little girl who constantly needs self-assurance.
Yes, there are some men who want an insecure woman that he can dominate. However, many of these men have deep psychological issues with the more self-assured and independent woman. This man would rather have a frightened little girl who strokes his ego than a more self-assured and independent woman who would not tolerate none of the nonsense. However, such men are becoming rarities these days. Let us give an resounding applause to the self-assured woman for she is here to stay!