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Women Who Snoop on Their Men... Are They Insecure Or On to Something???

Updated on October 11, 2016

To Snoop or Not to Snoop... That is the Question

Everyone who has ever been in a relationship has snooped on their significant other or at least been tempted to do so. With all of the cheating and rampant infidelity, it's not surprising that such spying has become common practice. More specifically, women are known for their sixth sense, otherwise known as women's intuition. This intuition coupled with snooping has been credited for discovering lies, mischievous acts, and cheating among other things. The question is, is snooping wrong or has it become an essential tool to maintaining trust within a relationship?

For those of you who aren't quite sure if you're guilty of snooping, I'd define snooping as investigating or looking around in hopes to uncover wrongdoing by your spouse or significant other. If you have ever checked your significant other's voicemail, text messages, email, or maybe even their journal/diary, you're guilty of snooping. It doesn't just stop there. There are a slew of women who have taken to social networking sites to continue their snooping binges. I have personally witnessed women checking their men's Facebook and Instagram pages to see who has commented on or liked photos or statuses. As you can imagine, there are hundreds of ways to snoop and millions of women who have undoubtedly uncovered each and every one of them. From spying on Facebook to climbing through windows, women have done it all. As time consuming as it must be, women everywhere are bent on spying and catching their significant others, one way or another...but why would one go to such extreme lengths to violate someone else's privacy?

Can I Really Trust You?

Women who go to extreme lengths to spy on their significant others don't fully trust the person their with. This doesn't necessarily mean that the other person is guilty of wrong doing, but it is a definite indicator that the snooper has trust issues and/or insecurities. Granted, there are those women who have a lack of trust due to cheating initiated by their significant other, and in those instances I empathize with them. Having been cheated on in the past, I understand that forgiving and forgetting isn't the easiest thing to do, especially if you have a desire to preserve the relationship. However, I must also ask you this question. Why remain in a relationship where you have to snoop in order to maintain trust? The basis of trusting is that you believe a person's intentions are good, despite not knowing their every move. I've even heard of people going to the extent of voluntarily sharing passwords as proof that they don't have anything to hide. Should you really have to do this if you trust your significant other or is this the norm for healthy relationships? Either way, trust goes a long way in a relationship. Without it, relationships fall apart and seem inherently doomed. Show me a relationship where trust is missing in action and I'll show you a relationship that is unhealthy and on thin ice.

I'm Guilty of Snooping

Years ago I dated a guy who was a star basketball player at the college he attended. That being the case, there were always women flocking to his presence. In the midst of all this I ignored the other women, because he'd never given me a reason not to trust him. That is, until one day when he left his cell phone in my car. His unlocked cell phone was calling my name and when I could no longer fight the temptation, I succumbed to it and began checking his call log and text messages. To his credit, I didn't find a whole lot of proof that he was seeing other women, but I did stumble across a message that he'd sent to his ex girlfriend saying "I miss you too." As you can imagine, I was furious and this single text changed the course of our relationship. I took those four words and used them against him like weapons of mass destruction, but in retrospect, I wonder what those words even meant. It's possible that he was simply saying he missed their friendship rather than their relationship since he had known her for several years... But with my emotions running up and down the scale, I never would've accepted that as the truth. In the end, I never fully trusted him and that limited the progress of our relationship. I shared that story to say that snooping can negatively impact your relationship and skew your emotions in a way that you're not able to make rational decisions.

Let's face it, not everyone has integrity in relationships. Men cheat as well as women, but does this mean that you should give up your dignity, time, and peace snooping to uncover lying and cheating? For goodness sake, NO! What is done in the dark will most definitely come to light and you don't have to search to find it. In many instances, it just sort of falls in your lap. So, my word to my snooping sisters is this... You can either make a choice to trust your significant other, leave the relationship, or spend unreasonable amounts of time playing inspector gadget. The choice is yours, but if you choose to continue snooping consider the fact that you just might end up the person who's hurt the most in the long run. I leave you with this last bit of wisdom. Don't go looking for something if you're not prepared to handle the findings.

Thanks for viewing this hub, whether you're a man or woman please answer this question in the comments section below: Have you snooped, and if so...what did you find?

Is It Ever Ok To Snoop???

Is it ok to snoop on your spouse/significant other if cheating has occurred in the relationship?

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    • profile image

      Anon 17 months ago

      Snooped and proud of it. I knew something was up and sure enough there was. Trust your gut, get your facts and get out.

    • profile image

      annon 2 years ago

      Yes i have snooped because he has forever lied to me about things he was involved in. The only way i can ever get the truth out of him is if i know it already, otherwise he lies.

    • profile image

      kamya 3 years ago

      I have snooped on two men and both times I found that I was being cheated upon.

    • MG Singh profile image

      MG Singh 4 years ago from Singapore

      Nice post. Snooping is best avoided, but a woman is more insecure than a man. Hence they snoop. Nice post

    • profile image

      Temika 4 years ago

      Yes I have snooped. I didn't find a whole lot but I regret it to this day especially because he found out! Snooping is not worth the headache.