- Gender and Relationships
Is Being "Too Nice" Ruining Your Life?
The "Too Nice" Dance
Do people get angier when you are nicer?
We all live in the within a certain frame of expectations of ourselves and others. Whether that frame that surrounds the incidents in our life is right or wrong generally it leads us to the conclusions or answers as to why things happen to us.
But if you're "too nice" you're accepting yourself inside a frame that may not be the right way to view things that happen to you and people around you.
More often than not being “too nice" creates conflict that you cannot solve. As the conflict increases you become nicer, the other person becomes more agitated. You're working against yourself.
Being "too nice" also works against you if you suddenly become angry because the people you've been previously nice to won't understand your anger.
Keeping yourself within the "too nice" frame will often hide solutions to problems from you. You may be convinced that" doing unto others as you would want to be done to you." is the answer. However, it just doesn't suit every circumstance.
Can you think of things that have happened to you in the past were being "too nice" just aggravated the situation?
We always tend to compare ourselves to other people and rate our own performance, or personality, accordingly.
But to behave as other people would expect us to behave, we have to look beyond the being "too nice" explanation as a solution to our problems or conflicts with others.
In the appropriate circumstance pointing out a failing is not an act of aggression but an act of kindness.
When you can balance being nice against being right or being forgiving, and also against being vengeful, you will find balance within your life that can work through solutions to issues you may experience with others.