- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
Porn And Sex Addiction Where To Get Help!
Internet Porn Addiction Self Help Books
Is Porn Addiction on the rise?
Internet and technology have increased over the years.
Do you know someone who is spending more and more time on the internet?
Do you know someone who has this problem? Are you growing more and more concerned about where your loved one's online habits are headed? Does your spouse or loved one's daily online routine grown from a few minutes into a few hours? Is he or she online later and later into the night? Is he or she growing irritable when you question her Internet use?
If you suspect this is happening to you. Do something about it. You need to fight for your marriage or your relationship. It will not go away on its own.
Is it just a "man thing" to be looking at porn when your married? Internet porn has grown and on the rise. This is a serious addiction and if you just ignore the problem it will get worse over time.
The signs of Internet porn addiction:
1. Late night hours on the internet.
2. Person may become distant from wanting to be intimate with you.
3. Less communication in the relationship.
4. Not having sex at all.
5. History of the computer and browser being deleted.
6. Person may become argumentative and critical.
You may think no big deal my wife or husband just looks at it a little. This is a big deal! It starts out that way because guess what? Sin never satisfies, before you know it it becomes more and more frequent. Nip it in the bud now before it becomes a problem. It can be very hurtful to the relationship. It is not about sex at all. Some men may feel low self esteem in the relationship and they feel more satisfied with the porn. The relationship is changing and your partner may not have the feelings he or she once had for you. It is not about the sex at all. Its a control thing. They feel empowered with it. The lust of it is overwhelming to someone who is addicted. They feel they just cannot stop. This is what an addiction is. It is empowerment. They feel controlled by it. The only way to break free is to admit there is a problem and to do something about it.
What do you do next. You need to love your spouse the way God does. Remember this is an addiction like drugs, alcohol, or gambling. You need to confront your spouse in a loving, caring way or else you will never get through to them. Keep the lines of communication open. This problem is not just with men, The statistics with women are on the rise too. Start praying about it and seek the advise of a priest or pastor.
Is there a problem? What should you do?
If your loved one or spouses online activities are taking them away from the family, everyday life. This is a sure sign something is not right.
Most internet users spend their time appropriately. They may use online banking, Internet games, Chat rooms, and Face Book. Not everyone has a addiction. They just don't spend hours of the day online.
Additional signs could be a secret pornography habit or other online sexual activity,like cyber sex. This is common in allot of chat rooms. The changes you need to look for are in their demands for privacy, Sleep patterns, evidence of lying, personality changes, a loss of interest in sex and a declining involvement in your relationship. They Just do not seem into the relationship anymore. Also the relationship maybe changing and declining. It is better to face the problem than to ignore the signs.
If you suspect your spouse or loved one is online and you found sexual content on the computer you need to confront them on it.
Start raising the communication in the relationship be honest and open and try to talk about it.
Most men or women will most likely deny it. Do not blame them or be critical about it.
This addiction can not only be with a spouse but a member of your family as well. Teenagers are using the net more and more to explore. This can also happen to your son or daughter. If you want to monitor where your children are I suggest getting a free software download called K-9. It is totally free. Friends I know have told me about this software and I also use it myself for my children. It blocks in-appropriate sites. You can also monitor where they go. Also talk to your children about the Internet. Warn them not to talk to strangers in chat rooms. People who are sexual predators know exactly how to manipulate a child. Do not think this cannot happen.It can. Teach your children safe, appropriate Internet use. Remember they learn from us and our behaviors, and actions.
Start with communicating and with any type of addiction the response may become ugly. They may admit it and put the blame on you. It is better to confront it but use extreme caution so you do not offend or put blame on the person. Most people that do have a problem, in some way, most people want to be caught because they know their behavior is wrong and want to be helped. They just do not know how to reach out and talk about it. Mostly out of guilt, shame or embarrassment. They may make excuses like a friend of mine borrowed my computer ect..
Most people are ashamed and embarrassed and do nothing. They think the situation will get better on its own. This is not the answer. God does not want this for you or your relationship.
“God doesn't want you to focus on what you would do to please your spouse, He wants you to focus on what you can do to better the situation. God wants us to be free from sin. Not to let the sin to keep us from having a great marriage and life. You just need to overcome the sin.
You need to CONFRONT the problem before it's too late!!!!!!
How do you handle the denial?
If you confront your spouse and even if you present the evidence to them, do not be surprised if they still deny it. This is quite common. I would confront them one on one alone first. Here is a verse from the Bible.
If your spouse will not respond follow the model of confrontation laid out in Matthew 18:15-17:
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses” (v. 15-16).
Try to tell your spouse to go to counseling, that you are hurting in the relationship and you want to strengthen and rebuild your marriage. This habit is taking its toll on you and you want things to change. the only way things can change is to address the problem together. If this does not work.
In other words, if confronting one-on-one doesn't work, confront your spouse with witnesses: business partners, friends, or a pastor (but not your children).
Seek the advise of a pastor, this will lead you in a good direction, or seek out a marriage counselor.
This article I thought would be interesting to write. I did allot of research about it. I also have talked to people I know who have had a this experience.
Hope this helps!